Welcome to GYE, the safest and most accepting place you'll find to overcome your struggles.  
You already accomplished a ton by joining and posting here! Please don't run away, rather take things at your pace and keep in touch here. 

You will find a whole network of people rooting for you, and encouraging you along the way.

If I may point out to our friend with the new username chosemyshem, I am sure that you have great intentions, and mean well. 
Though it may be wise to back off a bit on someone who  has just opened his thread, and started sharing his story. Odds are he wasn't expecting to be interrogated or have people "jumping down his throat", so let's just be there to listen and hold his hand.

From my personal experience, I saw that unsolicited advice and questions are generally counter-productive.

Welcome Aboard!

Very valid point. Holding back from giving unsolicited advice and questions is very difficult for me, but I will give it my best shot.

No offense was taken from @chosemyshem - I realized he missed read my post, plus he does have many valid points. I’m staying here for now, as I know this is where I need and want to be. 

I’m deeply moved by some of the stories I’ve read, and I’m impressed by how great Klal Yissroel is. Thank you all, and I look forward to gaining, and changing. 

markj3905 wrote on 24 May 2024 16:47:

Fifth greatest compliment I've ever received 

chosemyshem wrote on 24 May 2024 17:02:

Don’t forget to put it on your calendar 

Hi MarkJ, buddy.

is everything ok?

haven’t seen you posting in a bit….

Muttel

Hey, Mark!

It's been a while. Hope you are doing okay, looking forward to hearing more from you.