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Re: My ENTIRE story 01 Dec 2024 05:10 #426202

  • Muttel
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Amen v’amen!
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: My ENTIRE story 18 Dec 2024 22:04 #427336

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So.... figured I'd post something I'm feeling today.



I have a challenge going on in my life right now - unrelated to kedusha. A heavy, difficult, paralyzing challenge. The type that, 8 months ago, I would've run to my pacifier for a soothing numbing sensation. Happy that I'm not looking there (thought part of me wishes I can disappear - not sure to what though). Can't say I'm feeling the happiness though. P&M is just not an option. 



Not feeling like my regular upbeat self.



Not really sure what I'm looking to accomplish with this post - and frankly feel a little funny posting something that doesn't really express any substance - I'm just feeling down and a bit mushkababelt and want to share that with my brothers here that are always ready to listen to all rants and unloading....... 



Here's hoping I have a brighter day tomorrow...



Love you all,

Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043
Last Edit: 18 Dec 2024 22:06 by Muttel.

Re: My ENTIRE story 18 Dec 2024 22:25 #427338

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I'm sorry, dear Reb Muttel,

Sending Brotherly love and a virtual hug. Hope the coming days are more peaceful for you.
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

Please feel free to reach out. I'd appreciate connecting with you (via GYE, email, or phone - whatever floats your boat)
A little about me: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: My ENTIRE story 18 Dec 2024 22:52 #427340

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Dear Muttel, 

After reflection, I’m responding to your post here publicly, and not in a private conversation (which I will imyH try to have, as well).  

First of all, here’s a hug. 
But now I want to share this. As you and some others know, I too have been going through some crazy difficulties these past 6 months or so, and recently a new set of troubles began. 

I do not profess to know or understand the ways of Hashem. But I know a few things, deep in my essence. 

I know that I have become a changed man through my work here at GYE. I know that the RBSHO tests men, at times, and my mettle has been, and is being sorely tested. Yet, if the purpose of life is לעבוד ולעמול ולעמוד בנסיון then there is meaning therein, and the tools that we have developed in our struggles thus far are being put to good use. Perhaps I am being given opportunity to take it, and myself further… I’ll try to do His Ratzon , best as I can. 

Oy, Bashefer, I beg you: no more! Please! 
But until that time I will do my damndest to hold up. And to hold on. You brought me this far, and I know you won’t let me, or my close friend Muttel down. And I won’t let my Neshama down, either. 

With eyes brimming with tears, Shomrim Laboker, I look towards Light and Life, 
and wish the same for you, yedidi, 

chaimoigen
Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Perhaps you'd enjoy seeing Chaim's Oigen
Last Edit: 18 Dec 2024 22:54 by chaimoigen.

Re: My ENTIRE story 19 Dec 2024 00:30 #427344

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chaimoigen wrote on 18 Dec 2024 22:52:
Dear Muttel, 

After reflection, I’m responding to your post here publicly, and not in a private conversation (which I will imyH try to have, as well).  

First of all, here’s a hug. 
But now I want to share this. As you and some others know, I too have been going through some crazy difficulties these past 6 months or so, and recently a new set of troubles began. 

I do not profess to know or understand the ways of Hashem. But I know a few things, deep in my essence. 

I know that I have become a changed man through my work here at GYE. I know that the RBSHO tests men, at times, and my mettle has been, and is being sorely tested. Yet, if the purpose of life is לעבוד ולעמול ולעמוד בנסיון then there is meaning therein, and the tools that we have developed in our struggles thus far are being put to good use. Perhaps I am being given opportunity to take it, and myself further… I’ll try to do His Ratzon , best as I can. 

Oy, Bashefer, I beg you: no more! Please! 
But until that time I will do my damndest to hold up. And to hold on. You brought me this far, and I know you won’t let me, or my close friend Muttel down. And I won’t let my Neshama down, either. 



chaimoigen

And if I may be so bold as to add, that all those people who you ( I'm talking to you too, CO) exist for them as a support through their rough times, holding them up when they feel like collapsing ( speaking from personal experience) - well, lemme just throw out there that we're here for you too.
Whether or not you have the strength to talk to us. 
Praying for Y'all brotha
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com


The Red Face
Last Edit: 19 Dec 2024 00:31 by redfaced.

Re: My ENTIRE story 19 Dec 2024 00:45 #427346

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redfaced wrote on 19 Dec 2024 00:30:

chaimoigen wrote on 18 Dec 2024 22:52:
Dear Muttel, 

After reflection, I’m responding to your post here publicly, and not in a private conversation (which I will imyH try to have, as well).  

First of all, here’s a hug. 
But now I want to share this. As you and some others know, I too have been going through some crazy difficulties these past 6 months or so, and recently a new set of troubles began. 

I do not profess to know or understand the ways of Hashem. But I know a few things, deep in my essence. 

I know that I have become a changed man through my work here at GYE. I know that the RBSHO tests men, at times, and my mettle has been, and is being sorely tested. Yet, if the purpose of life is לעבוד ולעמול ולעמוד בנסיון then there is meaning therein, and the tools that we have developed in our struggles thus far are being put to good use. Perhaps I am being given opportunity to take it, and myself further… I’ll try to do His Ratzon , best as I can. 

Oy, Bashefer, I beg you: no more! Please! 
But until that time I will do my damndest to hold up. And to hold on. You brought me this far, and I know you won’t let me, or my close friend Muttel down. And I won’t let my Neshama down, either. 



chaimoigen

And if I may be so bold as to add, that all those people who you ( I'm talking to you too, CO) exist for them as a support through their rough times, holding them up when they feel like collapsing ( speaking from personal experience) - well, lemme just throw out there that we're here for you too.
Whether or not you have the strength to talk to us. 
Praying for Y'all brotha

Please take red's words to heart, both of you - Muttel and CO.
We are here and we care, deeply.
We may not be able to help, but we are here for you.
Feel free to reach out and say hi!
proudyungerman@gmail.com
406-219-8398

My Journey:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/406231-The-Real-Me

Re: My ENTIRE story 19 Dec 2024 02:30 #427351

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Thank you all for your responses, public and private (yes I did speak to CO privately).

It is a tremendous chizuk, even when I wasn’t up to reaching out…..

Hoping to see the light upon the horizon,
Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: My ENTIRE story 19 Dec 2024 02:34 #427353

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Muttel wrote on 19 Dec 2024 02:30:
Thank you all for your responses, public and private (yes I did speak to CO privately).

It is a tremendous chizuk, even when I wasn’t up to reaching out…..

Hoping to see the light upon the horizon,
Muttel

You missed the boat - there aint no light at the horizon. What you're seeing is the headlights of an oncoming train
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com


The Red Face

Re: My ENTIRE story 19 Dec 2024 17:43 #427447

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Happy to report that although some challenges remain, the cloud has lifted. Some challenges have been solved, and I hope the One who solved them will solve the remainder of them.

I hope I can take lessons from this: היד ה' תקצור??? (among many other lessons...)

The support I've received from so many of you has been so heartwarming....  

We should all be זוכה to have מנוחת הנפש and be able to serve Hashem with joy!

With overflowing brotherly love,
Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: My ENTIRE story 19 Dec 2024 17:57 #427451

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Muttel wrote on 19 Dec 2024 17:43:
Happy to report that although some challenges remain, the cloud has lifted. Some challenges have been solved, and I hope the One who solved them will solve the remainder of them.

I hope I can take lessons from this: היד ה' תקצור??? (among many other lessons...)

The support I've received from so many of you has been so heartwarming....  

We should all be זוכה to have מנוחת הנפש and be able to serve Hashem with joy!

With overflowing brotherly love,
Muttel

Hieliger Rabbi Muttela,

I am glad that things are BH looking up for you. I wish you that everything in your life should go smoothly. 

I have seen as well that our struggles in this area have given us strength to become better people and better yiden in other areas. 

Remember, Hashem tests those that He loves! This is not some random bumper sticker, its Posek in the Torah 'כי את אשר יאהב  ה יוכיח'
I know its tough and hard to feel the love sometimes. Life is a struggle but with complete faith in Hashems love it gets easier. 
I have been listening to Rabbi Shimon Spitzer's Shiurim on Bitochen, my whole outlook on life changed! And im only up to Shiur 76 out of 250+. 

Stay strong, stay sane, stay Holy!

Re: My ENTIRE story 22 Dec 2024 23:53 #427688

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As usual I came late to the party. But as others have noted already I have also experienced that even after strengthening ourselves in areas of kedusha the challenges in other areas of our life only get greater. 

There is no finish line, only an endless mountain that we're destined to attempt climb...
Last Edit: 22 Dec 2024 23:53 by SisonYishecha.

Re: My ENTIRE story 23 Dec 2024 00:35 #427696

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SisonYishecha wrote on 22 Dec 2024 23:53:
As usual I came late to the party. But as others have noted already I have also experienced that even after strengthening ourselves in areas of kedusha the challenges in other areas of our life only get greater. 

There is no finish line, only an endless mountain that we're destined to attempt climb...

While I don't necessarily disagree with the sentiment, the way you wrote it sounded so painful. Someone once said, "Life is suffering". Unfortunately that was Buddha - not exactly one of our chachomim.

We all know there's no "yeshiva b'shalva" for the righteous in this world. (Disregarding the last years of Yaakov's life. Different schmooze.) But that doesn't mean it's years of endless pain and struggle. Does being presented with a new test every time you pass the previous one mean that life is an endless mountain we're slogging our way up?

There's a fundamental idea called hedonic adaption. Basically. Every new positive (or negative) change becomes part of your baseline and you stop getting pleasure (or pain) from it. People get used to anything. Somehow, despite this basic and universally acknowledged truth we keep on chasing positive changes.

I got up and took care of my kids for awhile (talk about an endless slog, huh) and lost my train of thought. But life never being easy doesn't have to equal life always being painful. I hope.

Re: My ENTIRE story 24 Dec 2024 15:47 #427849

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See attached.
Attachments:

Re: My ENTIRE story 24 Dec 2024 16:06 #427852

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chosemyshem wrote on 23 Dec 2024 00:35:

SisonYishecha wrote on 22 Dec 2024 23:53:
As usual I came late to the party. But as others have noted already I have also experienced that even after strengthening ourselves in areas of kedusha the challenges in other areas of our life only get greater. 

There is no finish line, only an endless mountain that we're destined to attempt climb...

While I don't necessarily disagree with the sentiment, the way you wrote it sounded so painful. Someone once said, "Life is suffering". Unfortunately that was Buddha - not exactly one of our chachomim.

We all know there's no "yeshiva b'shalva" for the righteous in this world. (Disregarding the last years of Yaakov's life. Different schmooze.) But that doesn't mean it's years of endless pain and struggle. Does being presented with a new test every time you pass the previous one mean that life is an endless mountain we're slogging our way up?

There's a fundamental idea called hedonic adaption. Basically. Every new positive (or negative) change becomes part of your baseline and you stop getting pleasure (or pain) from it. People get used to anything. Somehow, despite this basic and universally acknowledged truth we keep on chasing positive changes.

I got up and took care of my kids for awhile (talk about an endless slog, huh) and lost my train of thought. But life never being easy doesn't have to equal life always being painful. I hope.

This is good stuff. Sison Yishecha, always good to hear from you. You’re insightful. 

Westley said “Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

But he was wrong (as guys in black masks usually are).  
Life is growth. Pain is part of it, as any mother can tell you. The Chevlei Leida are worth it. Sometimes we can feel and recognize it. Sometime we can’t and we have to rely on אמונתך בלילות .

Dealing with the pain without the burden of resentment, when possible, frees one up to experience the good stuff that is also happening. That’s been my goal these days. 

החפץ בחיים 
Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Perhaps you'd enjoy seeing Chaim's Oigen

Re: My ENTIRE story 24 Dec 2024 17:52 #427855

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ותראה באמת שכבר לא יוכל שום בעל שכל להאמין שתכלית בריאת האדם הוא למצבו בעולם הזה, כי מה הם חיי האדם בעולם הזה, או מי הוא ששמח ושליו ממש בעולם הזה.: "ימי שנותינו בהם שבעים שנה ואם בגבורות שמונים שנה ורהבם עמל ואון", בכמה מיני צער וחלאים ומכאובים וטרדות, ואחר כל זאת, המות. אחד מני אלף לא ימצא שירבה העולם לו הנאות ושלוה אמיתית. וגם הוא, אילו יגיע למאה שנה כבר עבר ובטל מן העולם.

ולא עוד אלא שאם תכלית בריאת האדם היה לצורך העולם הזה, לא היה צריך מפני זה שתנופח בו נשמה כל כך חשובה ועליונה שתהיה גדולה יותר מן המלאכים עצמם, כל שכן שהיא אינה מוצאה שום נחת רוח בכל עינוגי זה העולם. והוא מה שלמדונו זכרונם לברכה במדרש קהלת, זו לשונם: "וגם הנפש לא תמלא, משל למה הדבר דומה, לעירוני שנשא בת מלך, אם יביא לה כל מה שבעולם, אינם חשובים לה כלום, שהיא בת מלך כך הנפש, אילו הבאת לה כל מעדני עולם, אינם כלום לה, למה שהיא מן העליונים".

וכן אמרו רבותינו זכרונם לברכה : "על כרחך אתה נוצר ועל כרחך אתה נולד". כי אין הנשמה אוהבת העולם הזה כלל אלא אדרבא מואסת בו. אם כן ודאי לא היה בורא הבורא יתברך בריאה לתכלית שהוא נגד חוקה ונמאס ממנה. אלא בריאתו של האדם, למצבו בעולם הבא היא. ועל כן ניתנה בו נשמה זאת, כי לה ראוי לעבוד, ובה יוכל האדם לקבל השכר במקומו וזמנו, שלא יהיה דבר נמאס אל נשמתו בעולם הזה, אלא אדרבא נאהב ונחמד ממנה, וזה פשוט.

והנה אחר שידענו זה, נבין מיד חומר המצוות אשר עלינו ויקר העבודה אשר בידינו, כי הנה אלה הם האמצעים המביאים אותנו אל השלמות האמיתי, אשר בלעדם לא יושג כלל, ואולם ידוע כי אין התכלית מגיע אלא מכח קיבוץ כל האמצעים אשר נמצאו ואשר שימשו להגיעו. וכפי כח האמצעים ושימושם, כן יהיה התכלית הנולד מהם. וכל הפרש קטן שימצא באמצעים, תבחן תולדתו בבירור ודאי בהגיע זמן התכלית הנולד מקיבוץ כולם, כמו שכתבתי, וזה ברור. מעתה ודאי הוא, שהדקדוק שידקדק על ענין המצות והעבודה, מוכרח שיהיה בתכלית הדקדוק כאשר ידקדקו שוקלי הזהב והפנינים לרוב יקרם, כי תולדתם נולדת בשלמות האמיתי והיקר הנצחי שאין יקר למעלה ממנו.

נמצינו למדים, כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעולם הזה הוא רק לקיים מצוות ולעבוד ולעמוד בנסיון, והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהיו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח וישוב דעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת המוטלת עליו.

(מסילת ישרים פרק א)

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