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My Story, Being Honest For Once
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TOPIC: My Story, Being Honest For Once 28736 Views

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 17 May 2023 13:45 #395812

Thinking of going to AA or NA

Recently made a stop to pick up a “package” On the way to my in laws to watch my kids while baby was with wife in the hospital again
Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today. 
Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect. 
If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 17 May 2023 13:54 #395813

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iLoveHashem247 wrote on 17 May 2023 13:45:
Thinking of going to AA or NA

Recently made a stop to pick up a “package” On the way to my in laws to watch my kids while baby was with wife in the hospital again

Was that because of the stress of the situation?
"It is not our abilities that show who we truly are, it is our choices.” ---- Albus Dumbeldore (as per Chris Columbus)

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 17 May 2023 15:08 #395823

I was going to pick up before that, it was building up for weeks
Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today. 
Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect. 
If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 22 May 2023 23:23 #396040

Does anyone know of a frum AA or NA group in Monsey? 
Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today. 
Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect. 
If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 23 May 2023 00:16 #396054

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iLoveHashem247 wrote on 17 May 2023 13:45:
Thinking of going to AA or NA

Recently made a stop to pick up a “package” On the way to my in laws to watch my kids while baby was with wife in the hospital again

@ilovehashem247, Iam sorry for the pain ur experiencing recently...
I've been following uur journal from beginning, uv been a real inspiration for me personally..


Just throwing in my 2 cents here.. do you think, discussing with a professional abour ur decision might help as of which direction to go?
Last Edit: 23 May 2023 00:17 by willdoit.

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 23 May 2023 01:23 #396059

Hi willdoit

Can you hear me there outside the rut? 

I am dealing with one of the veteran members on the site and I have also spoken to my primary care physician. 

I have gone to such groups when I was younger, and it helped. Hopefully as an adult, along with others in my community, I will be able to finally overcome this for good.

 As HHM told me, all of these things are just replacement drugs for one another. Porn and masturbation is just another drug.

I guess I have to approach it now from my favorite flavor

my wife discovered me because I have my personal email address connected to her phone and something popped up. I have added accountability services on all of my devices as of today. We had a whole conversation about the path to recovery, but she doesn’t know that I’m still stuck. She I’m just burned out a bit at this point. I need help for the sake of my family, and for my own sake, and I am trying to find the right help. 

i also adjusted the dosage of my daily medication which helps me with impulsivity among other things. 

I willalsodoit
 Courage… among other things
Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today. 
Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect. 
If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 23 May 2023 03:31 #396069

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I've been following this thread for some time because posts here trigger notifications In my email. I seem to recall you started posting here because of concerns revolving around sex with self and others, pornography etc. Just above you sound quite ready to consider attending NA or AA meetings in your area...I may have missed it, but have you ever seriously considered as seriously the very real option You have of attending SA meetings members who are sober for months and years? Perhaps that's a viable option for you. I went to my first SA meeting in Monsey about 20 years ago and it was a wonderful little meeting. Now they are quite a bit larger, but you can find smaller ones if you like because there are probably a couple of great SA meetings there every day of the week. Anyway, I don't think this is the right venue for serious discussion of recovery. It's a great place for good ideas and chizzuk, but specifics should probably be kept private. I'd be happy to discuss this more privately if that's what you want to do. And by all means Narcotics Anonymous is a wonderful place to start, too. Your wife must be going through a special piece of hell inside right now, even if she's keeping herself together externally. Peace brother ❤️
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 23 May 2023 03:45 #396071

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Just for clarification, I don't live in Monsey and was only visiting there at the time. B"H I was sober about 6 years then and life was already 'night&day' from what it had been before. There's a lot of hope here for you, and anyone else who needs this... I'm not saying this is what you need. Just pointing out that it seemed to me you might have been seeing your attendance at narcotics and alcoholics anonymous meetings as more viable an option than attending sexaholics Anonymous meetings, for some reason, even though It is also available. Sometimes people are just so ashamed of their humiliating sexual escapades that they cannot fathom opening up about them completely among a bunch of other frum people. Oh well. 
Dov 
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 25 May 2023 03:42 #396198

More that my struggle is stemmed more from the drugs than the sex. 

I would  choose the illicit drugs over the illicit sex every time 
Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today. 
Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect. 
If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 25 May 2023 04:42 #396203

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I can introduce you to people in fantastic recovery in narcotics Anonymous. If you prefer frum Jews to begin with, That's no problem at all. Just PM me and we will work out a good person depending on your location and such. That way you can meet him and get together over coffee instead of with fake names over the computer like this...like two adults. All questions can be disgust and put to rest in order for you to be able to start getting real help as soon as possible. There's a lot of work to do, bH ❤️.
And a happy Shavuos ta yoo 
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 25 May 2023 05:16 #396205

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Dov wrote on 25 May 2023 04:42:
I can introduce you to people in fantastic recovery in narcotics Anonymous. If you prefer frum Jews to begin with, That's no problem at all. Just PM me and we will work out a good person depending on your location and such. That way you can meet him and get together over coffee instead of with fake names over the computer like this...like two adults. All questions can be disgust and put to rest in order for you to be able to start getting real help as soon as possible. There's a lot of work to do, bH ❤️.
And a happy Shavuos ta yoo 

Dov,

It looks like this post was written with “Hey Siri” 

Now, you know as well as I do that AI (artificial intelligence) is as smart as anonymous intelligence so it’s a good idea before you hit the submit button to check what you actually write 
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 25 May 2023 11:20 #396211

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Yes there was at least one glaring auto-type in there
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 25 May 2023 20:59 #396232

Mavis be a holiday of recovery for us all
Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today. 
Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect. 
If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 25 May 2023 21:05 #396233

I just wanted to publicly acknowledge that HHM pushed me very hard to have accountability software. A lot of the things that I wouldn’t be proud for others to see even if it is not some thing necessarily illicit, was a very big help. I I am still struggling with my current test, but I have been seeking options, and will start testing out This coming week 

Accountability is a very powerful force

I also wanted to acknowledge that allowing myself to be open and honest with my mentor - even when admitting to daily falls in the drug area -  has helped me want to take control, and his non-judgment of me has been encouraging. Even though I deserved a slap for disappearing on  him for a week.
Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today. 
Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect. 
If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 28 May 2023 01:30 #396236

Caught
Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today. 
Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect. 
If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once
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