Shtarkandemotional wrote on 24 Dec 2020 04:13:

Do you not trust her?
why wouldn't she be ok?

I hope she’s feeling ok! I’m just venting... 

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 24 Dec 2020 04:13:

I'm sure she's missing you immensely too, and wondering the same thing about you!

I truly admire your strength! 

I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries, but it's only because I care.

Here's my observation. By constantly thinking about her, and wishing you can share with her every step of your day, you still feel connected to her. You almost feel like you owe it to her, and by not obsessing over it, you are being disloyal. 

If this is true, and I say if, because I know I can definitely be wrong, you must let go. The only way to be able to get on with your life is with moving on. Starting to live in the here and now. Start to live the present. This isn't easy at all, I'm sure, but it's probably the only way.

No writing in notebooks, no imagining her reaction to things etc. Just you Mr. Awesome SAM. Living life from today on.

You both made a mature, smart decision together and she wants you to live your life. She wants you to actually reap the fruits of this difficult yet rewarding decision. By not moving on, you are only handicapping yourself. 

Correct me if I'm wrong. 

                                Grant

Wowwwwwwww yayyyyyy!!! It’s amazing how much venting can help put smiles on my face!!! 

Today was such a sincere day for me! I’m so sure my love will see the fruits of her hard labor she’s working with me toward this break! I’m feeling so happy cuz I just helped someone emotionally in my house haha just kidding lol! K now I’m acting WEIRD!!! Lol Anyway!!! Everyone thanks for all the support!!!!!!!!!!!! 

If I may highlight the @grants point.

"Sometimes inorder to hold on you must let go"

I think @grant hit the nail with the hammer.

Comment to markz and yeshiva guy-

I wanna think about what your saying, having a hard time breaking off with someone very dear to you and having to face a 2 year break hmm I wanna ask you married fellows something ok... I’m gonna now take a way your precious wife (for the people that have good relationships with their wives ... not to the people that cvetch there wives belly is a little or big and they’re not stop running after looks and not interested in building a relationship)! So I’m gonna take her away and your not gonna be able to talk to her for 2 years and that means no more touching her no more shmoozing with her no more female attention! And keep in mind she’s also let’s say your best friend so we’re taking that away too! And then your gonna have a little hard time adjusting... and I’m gonna tell you CODEPENDENCY! Your very unhealthy! But anyway I’m just being cute Lolol! To get to the point yes maybe there is a void she’s feeling and I think it’s a very simple void! Called getting bullied as a kid! Not being liked! Lack of female attention! And lacking deep emotional understanding relationships! So it’s much more difficult for me to part with it!and to grant I agree with you 100% and I AM moving on with it! (With still loving her) but I’m living life now!! I just told myself I’m gonna post so I wanted to keep my word lol! Whatever it’s complicated lol hahahahaha anyway chevra keep smiling!!!! We will get through this!!!

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 24 Dec 2020 04:20:

Why would she not be ok?

Shmuel wrote on 24 Dec 2020 04:51:

Maybe it’s hard for you to relate to emotions... I understand that... but for many girls and emotional boys... it can be hard when facing a 2 year break... but if you can’t see how it can be hard because once it’s hard it becomes codependency then I can’t really explain:( 

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 24 Dec 2020 04:45:

I’m not married.
So that disqualifies the first half of your post.

I’m a 22 year old Buchar in Yeshiva.
I was bullied as well as a kid.
I know it’s difficult.
Ur not the only one who separated from a girl he likes...

Ive seen therapists for at least the last 8 years about various things and it has greatly inhanced my life and it’s highly likely it will inhance yours.


Anyway, best of luck

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 24 Dec 2020 04:56:

Are you assuming she isnt ok? are you projecting your own feelings on to her?
Based in what you've described it prob is hard but also based in what you described shesshes a strong smart and capable person with great insight sounds like someone that can handle a difficult situation no?
You tell me?

YeshivaGuy wrote on 24 Dec 2020 04:57:

I’m not attacking CHAS VESHALOM!!! I love each and everyone of you! And we’re here only to help each other we love each other and I promise I care a lot it feels like such a warm big family!!! I’m just espresso glasses myself passionately but maybe I was too strong I’m sorry please forgive me I really didn’t mean anything personal!!! 

Shmuel wrote on 24 Dec 2020 05:01:

 yup very capable! So let’s just rephrase this I hope she’s in good spirits and not too emotional... 

It’s ok, no offense taken.
Just not always wise to candidly discard any advice which isn’t so comfortable.


Anyway I might be being too harsh now...
Hatzlocha

Hi S.A.M,

I really can't relate to your situation so Im not going to share any advice ect ect

But...

I hope you know that everyone is trying to help and share perspectives, advice and experiences they had that are similar to yours.

I just want to make sure you know that

It seems like you are taking all the comments and helpful advice well.

Keep posting and sharing

I wish you all the best and much success!