Hello, I am brand new here and a bit confused about how to use the forums and how GYE itself works. I do feel like I need help but just not sure how to get it here. Is there a (relatively) easy way to get the idea?
Thank you!

Hi Lou! Welcome! We are all here to get help, and to help others too! The forums work pretty simple, you can ask, share, vent, and scream, we are all listening, and will try to share what helped for us.
there are also alot of other good recourses here to help you, our @captain will post links once he takes his shift... 
stick around, reach out, read and share! 
you'l get the hang of it pretty quickly iyh

Welcome! Like R' Youngster said. Browse old forums, articles, post, keep a clean streak count and read the GYE handbook.

You can also contact members privately via the PM system on the forum or the GYE rocket chat.

Introduce yourself and share a little of your story so we can help.

Hatzlacha! Please don't run away!

Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha. Stay connected by posting on your thread.

Welcome!
Post about yourself on your thread, read old threads, and look around.
Theres different divisions of threads for different topics... Take a look, not too complicated

• "Youngster" post=357923 date=1606690036 catid=19

Hi! Welcome! Get to know the guys here, read the forums, etc. It really helps.

Also, check out these great free resources:

Great book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation.

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Also, check out the daily GYE Boost emails at www.gyeboost.org.A little inspiration every day can go a long way.

Welcome - these forum are full of amazing guys who care and will help!

Thank you very much to all of you for the warm welcome!
When you say keep in touch via your thread,do you mean this forum? Sorry for the silly questions just trying to get the hang of it.
As far my story... I will give very basic details as I am not sure what is appropriate to be said in a public forum. Also I am new so it a little awkward. I am a yeshivish style married working man in my lower 40s. I have been through many ups and downs over the past many years regarding this battle. BH,my externals have remained the same and this is all a hidden battle for the most part. (Not really sure how much better that is but I think it is). I have been through times of watching porn all the time, chat rooms,online "relationships", and some more. However, BH as I stated this never changed my externals and never ever met up with a real person for this. BH at the moment I am in a pretty good place. I have highly filtered myself and in general am pretty busy BH. However, I still find that whenever I get the oppurtunity I will run for it and at times I will try as hard as I can to make the opportunity for myself. I will find every loophole in filters that can be found when that happens. I hope my story sounds somewhat coherent. it is not easy to share this and it kinda came out as a jumble with details missing but that is my general idea. At this point, I really want to solve this once and for all!
Thank you for listening.

My only advice to you is hang in there. Stick around here and post, chat and connect. This is an amazing community of people who have struggled and triumphed. Gather inspiration and motivation, and take all the help that’s being offered. You won’t regret it.

I have been reading a bit on here. What is the tafsik method and where do i find out about it? I feel a little bit like I am in the dark here.
Thanks

Here’s the link:
https://guardyoureyes.com/tools/taphsic-method

Thank you!
I actually found a page that is actually giving me guidance about how GYE works including the taphsik method so I do feel more enlightened now!

First of all welcome!

Check out the GYE handbook. 

You can also check out your "personal homepage" (link at the top) for all the tools here.

We are with you through thick and this, this is a journey, stay with us all the way.

Keep us posted.

Hey Lou! Great first post! You came to the right place.

About feeling awkward, that's very normal in the beginning. Anything is appropriate to be discussed on the forum as long as it is done in a non triggering way and some words can be written like t**s (this) if necessary. Also, anything marriage related (bedroom stuff) is best to be discussed on the Balei Battim forum if necessary.

B"H you are still the same person (outside) and can return (or create) to being someone who is lust free.

LUST. LUST. LUST.

That is going to be the key to overcoming this issue. Understanding what lust is and what it causes is the way to cut it out of your life. What you may have accepted in the past as "healthy male desire" is not just that. Healthy desire doesn't cause someone to risk marriage and relationships. Normal sexual activity isn't a custom made weapon of mass destruction, but lust most definitely is. Lust is what pushes a person to risk more than he can gain. It's what urges a person to rationalize and excuse his base animalistic behavior, and find blame with everyone else without admitting/ understanding he most likely is the problem. Porn, chat rooms, masturbation, fantasizing, eyes roaming in the streets, all come from one core driving force...you guessed it - nuclear energy- just kidding, LUST!

Lust isn't a need or necessity. It may feel like it. It may overwhelm you and cause you to try to bust through the very filters you installed, but it  is only a feeling. It can completely make your body quiver with desire and anticipation, but it's still only an emotion that can be completely ignored. It's the neighborhood bully that we can learn to stand up to. Like they say around here, "No deaths were ever reported on account of not giving in to lust". This perspective is is key to changing. This will be extremely instrumental in returning you to the person/husband/father you were and can be.

Setting up filters and obstacles are helpful. Creating distance and roadblocks are beneficial and maybe even be the only way, but they are all just gravy. The core thrust gotta come from you. Nothing can stop a person from falling unless he stops himself. Through new perspectives, better understanding and a clear vision of how he wants his life to look.

Weigh the pros and cons. Judge the advantages and disadvantages, of being clean vs. acting out. Come to a crystal clear decision of which way you will truly be happier. Now obviously we know the answer, that's why you are here. But make it absolutely clear to yourself. Use a paper and pen if you need and write down every benefit.

In addition write a list of the five most important things in your life. Is acting inappropriately one of them? No? So why dis/do you devote so much time, money and effort into it? Years ( decades?) actually?

Spend a few days browsing through old forums. There are oodles of golden nuggets strewn about.

Now, one more thing. To make a long story longer. How is the relationship with the wife? I gather not too fulfilling? This is probably also a symptom of Mr. McLust. Start a thread in the BB forum and start fixing it. We all were there and there is always hope.

Hatzlacha!

                                  Grant

Thank you very much!