YeshivaGuy wrote on 15 Jan 2021 21:17:

Yeshiva Guy I want to give you some perspective on the decision you have made. You think you decided to rid yourself of an iPhone as a protection for now - while you are a bochur, which of course is true, and you should be applauded for making that decision. But it goes way beyond that tzaddik.

Yidden have always been careful to make their homes sanctuaries - safe places , unaffected by the street. The term teivas Noach has been used about our homes (and yeshivas). For generations, despite our interactions with goyim out there in the world, we came home and closed the door to whatever was going on "out there". Along came the radio and television and brought the goyim right into our living rooms. Gedolei Yisroel campaigned against TV and to a great degree were very successful and many guys who grew up in TV homes, upon marriage, left the TV out of their new mikdash me'at. Even radio - many bnei Torah restricted radio listening in the house either completely or to a large degree. Some made a gender of "only in the car". Eventually Torah true newspapers were published to help us "know what's going on the world", while protecting us from questionable content, which also served as a great service to keep our homes pure. And then along came the Internet..... and wreaked havoc on all this. Let's not even discuss shmutz. The amount of apikorsus - open and subtle is enormous. People who never dreamed of watching goyishe movies, do so quite often now. And we have been desensitized to aidelkeit. Clips of people's happenings are sent around with no concern for their privacy and dignity - simple example - why should someone's car accident be public? Why are we watching someone in their tough moment? The amount of lashon hara and rechilus is appalling. Since when is "online" the heter to say (or write) just about anything? Kids are seeing traumatic events and tragedies rach"l.

When a bochur decides, "my home is going to be pristine - a kodesh hakadoshim. The street has no entry past my mezuza. Western Culture will not enter my abode. There will not be a device in my pocket that will bring foreign ideas - open and subtle kefirah, lashon hara, or images that even the "heimish" news does not realize are unacceptable - why do they show pictures of lady politicians and the like?! Why?!" When a bochur makes that decision, he is protecting himself, his future wife and kids from challenges to their emunah and their kedusha. You are a wise man. 

Hashem Help Me wrote on 21 Jan 2021 12:30:

Wow! A laser guided missile. Thank you HHM.

Grant400 wrote on 21 Jan 2021 13:53:

Whoa! That sounds violent. The worst i do here is a kick in the pamts. Let's rephrase that to "a laser guided hug". 

Hey Yeshivaguy,
You're a big inspiration toto myself and many others here. We are all amazed by the incredible progress and growth you keep making.
Just curious, you have any clear attainable goals written down? It can help keep focused instead of just having this feeling always of not reaching your potential. You can set specific goals in each seder, something reasonable. It will help you stay focused. And then later it can help you look back and see what progress you made and what you can improve on, instead of just living with that feeling of "wasting your potential." (You can try larger goals until the end of the zman, and then break it up further into weekly goals.)

Captain wrote on 24 Jan 2021 14:15:

Hey, I was about to start typing but you said exactly what I was going to say. The only thing I would add is that it is extremely helpful to share these thoughts with a good Rebbe who can help you navigate through them. 

Just curious, you have any clear attainable goals written down? It can help keep focused instead of just having this feeling always of not reaching your potential. You can set specific goals in each seder, something reasonable. 

Thanks, I do, I think it’s a deeper problem that I have. That I’m never satisfied with accomplishments and have a voice inside my head always saying I’m a failure 

YeshivaGuy wrote on 24 Jan 2021 18:32:

Oy! Another perfectionist like me. Every accomplishment really isn't good......