Hi, I am enjoying the way you seem to dig up old forlorn threads and bring them to the top so we can gain from them.
I noticed one bizarre thing. One of the points that I enjoy about GYE is the positiveness and camaraderie that we all have. Even if we disagree it is obvious that we are all brothers. In the older posts that you are bringing forward it looks like that wasn't always the case. There are many nuggets that I have found helpful,but some posts have shocked me and seemed so un GYE like.
Have you noticed this? Just wondering

Lou wrote on 10 Jan 2021 20:57:

I hear ya.
What I do is sometimes when I see names on the bottom of people I don’t recognize I press on them and comment on their old threads to bring them back.
It has worked for some, but a lot just fly away again...

Anyway, ya I hear you, it seems the chevra used to be more Charif.
I wonder if it was partially due to Dovs bigger presence in the past who imparted a more Charif/no nonsense mehalach, not sure

Should be in Seder now but I’m my room...
Really in the mood to masterbate and somehow see some biah or something...

Its not an overpowering feeling but like I really really would like to. 
And my Yetzer says I might as well cuz anyways I’m late to Seder...

Plus I went to a vort of my good friend yesterday, and brought up emotions of me really wishing to have a deep relationship with a woman, and to maybe start dating... I know I’m not ready yet etc, but it conjured up those emotions.
These emotions aren’t b’eztzem bad, but it’s hard when the Yetzer tries harnessing them to make me sin.....

YeshivaGuy wrote on 11 Jan 2021 21:15:

I'm also in the mood! Oh well, too bad on me! 

Grant400 wrote on 11 Jan 2021 21:20:

Lol glad I’m not alone.
Alright I should prob get out of bed, daven mincha and head to learn...

YeshivaGuy wrote on 11 Jan 2021 21:23:

I'll do the same. Besides for the getting out of bed part . Mincha, and seder. See you on the other side!

Hey guys,
So as I’ve mentioned in the past, I have a taiva for politics...
A lot goin on these days and doing pretty good at staying clear from it all and just focusing on learning.

Now, there’s this guy from a college who joined my Yeshiva for a month and he’s staying in my room.
He asked me about my political belief and I said I’m a big Tru.. fan, and he’s kinda super duper against him.
So he likes pushing my buttons about it and etc etc, he’s saying I’m dumb etc...
Also says things at times which denote that he’s better than me etc etc...

Now, this guy is 5 years younger than me.
What I wanna tell him is to shut up and show me some respect. I’ve been moser Nefesh for so many years for Avodas HaShem and you act like u look down on me? Ur the guy with the girlfriend and crumb hashkafos etc...

So besides these emotions, my “political Taiva” has been ignited and I’m not so into it, but idk what to do he keeps calling tru.. a “choleh nefesh” etc 
Now, I know that HaShem controls the world and I shouldn’t have so much emuna in a person.
As well, I’m aware that this isn’t a man of virtuous middos of whom to look up to etc etc etc. But for better or for worst this is how I feel...

And regardless, I just wanna learn without all this garbage and Bh I’m doing well but when we’re in the same room it can get feisty sometimes, especially when he shows zero kavod to Gedolim and zero kavod to anyone who thinks unlike him...

What shaychus to GYE?
Good question!
This current circumstance in my room has made my room no longer feel like a clear hemshech of the Bais Medrash etc, and I feel more susceptible therefore, to sin..,

I know I gotta be just more mature and not stoop down to his low level of both imaturity and Yiras Shamayim.

Ps. I’m aware that I’m being very judgmental. I am expressing these emotions in writing now instead of “expressing” these emotions vis-à-vis Masterbating...

Good Night!

YeshivaGuy

This is relatable.

Very often when it comes to roommates, the bad and good can rub off from one to the other.

For example....I'm not prone to make my bed but if my roommate does then I'll feel required to make it.....

My point is that if you do what you have to do and set the tone of the room then he will most probably respect that decision.

In general I say be thankful for roommates, mine got married and moved out so I’m alone...although in a Yeshiva dorm with paper thin walls I’m not quite sure if that’s possible. 
I personally have had a whole spectrum of roommates in my time in Yeshiva. From the beer drinking to the “how many times do I have to tell you not to put your dirty underwear on my bed?!?!” I finally found a few good ones and it really makes all the difference. 
If he truly bothers you, and can have a bad hashbaah due to his hashkafos (girlfriend etc) then I would talk to a Rebbe about having him moved out of your room. Yeshiva, and by extension the dorm, should be a safe space for you. 

You can also get a Joe Biden dartboard....he might move out on his own

My Rosh Yeshiva once told me a trick that can be really helpful with these types of people. We all know those people who's only satisfaction and only form of feeling good is by putting other people down, there is nothing to their words but a selfish attempt to elevate their own self worth but instead of working on lifting themselves up they do so by putting others down. They unfortunately have a mental handicap, they usually really need help in the form of a good friend, Rebbe or therapist to listen and make them feel worthwhile on their own right. It can be really difficult to watch someone go through this, we stand by and watch how these people desperately try to make themselves feel worthwhile, while at the same time destroy so many meaningful or potential relationships.

So the trick is to look at these people as special needs. The reality is that they are special needs and they do need special care. Try not to ask things like "why don't I do this and that"? Or "how come I figured this out and he is still so lost"? You don't ask these questions when your working in a special needs camp so try to think the same way here. 

What you are trying to accomplish here is to remove your expectations of what you feel (rightfully or not) a "normal" person should be like (usually similar to yourself). The reality is though, that most people don't fit into our expectations of what normal should be, instead, we choose to surround ourselves by people like ourselves. But sometimes, we are forced to be around other people and the trick is to be aware that their needs are just different then ours.

One more point is that this is largely a maturity thing and the age gap really does make a whole lot of a difference. 

Yeah, if you wanted to just shut him up I can give you a whole bunch of ideas but this will only make his issues worse. There are two things to stay away from, one is to stay away from anything that he identifies by (obviously, you can compliment them) for example if he thinks he is good at guitar, be very careful not to make fun of that. The second is to stay away from things that are really important to him that he doesn't do all that well. For example if he sleeps in a lot but really is working on waking up early, you have to be careful to only give positive chizzuk in these areas.

You will be surprised how this can not only help you deal with it, but also change the other person tremendously. It's a little work but it can go a long way. It can be techiyas hameisim, you can literally bring life to someone who is really struggling. 

Rav Noach Weinberg said, (paraphrasing) "someone who is happy with who he is doesn't put others down and doesn't say hurtful things to or about other people. If you find yourself doing these things, it indicates that you are not happy with yourself."

It truly is amazing to see how people change when their self esteem is built up. They just become better people, with better middos and are more pleasant to be around.

This wasn't meant to be a whole long shmues but whadaya know, that's what happens. This is a sore topic by me as I dealt with this for a large part of my time in yeshiva. 

All the best,
Wilnevergiveup

I’m so so exhausted, pulling myself out of bed for shachris... complete torture.

Hatzlocha

Beautiful post R' Willnevergiveup! Wise and full of ahavas Yisroel.

YeshivaGuy wrote on 13 Jan 2021 12:23:

After that I rewarded myself with a breakfast nap.
And just woke up like 5 hours later...
Oh well, def not giving up!

YeshivaGuy wrote on 13 Jan 2021 19:28:

Sometimes you gotta realize that not everything that seems bad is bad. You slept through seder. Doesn't seem good, but then again that's your body telling you it needed sleep. And now Baruch Hashem you gave it some. You'll have more strength for a gevaldige second seder.
Also, tired + urge = disaster.
L'mashul, last night I came back to the dorm after night seder ready to wind down for the night. I read some GYE, read a little on mindfulness, and then was going to turn in for an early night. But I bumped into a friend in the hall and we started shmuzing...and laughing. Next thing I know it's 2am. Yeah I was tired this morning and my morning seder didn't have the same oomf but I don't regret doing what I did last night. I was lonely (take a look at my thread...) and having a light conversation and some super refreshing laughs were mamash mechaye meisim. Now I don't recommend doing this every night but just saying sometimes things that look bad are actually blessings in disguise.