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Make it to Yeshiva
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TOPIC: Make it to Yeshiva 25297 Views

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 18 Mar 2021 04:14 #365638

  • lionking
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I am in love of these types of posts. Keep them coming even during Bein Hazmanim.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 18 Mar 2021 23:32 #365693

  • HappyYid
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 18 Mar 2021 04:05:
Ok folks, Bein Hazmanim starts tomorrow.
As far as plans, we got the no internet browsing deal/commitment.
We got the no sleeping in room with my iPhone thing.
Now, to be honest, that’s gonna be hard lmaaseh..........

Then there’s the learning/davening thing.
So there’s no Bais HaMedrash by me, so I could commit to driving 25 min every day to a a BM, but that’s hard commitment idk...
I could wake up, work out, daven neitz, then learn in my room.
I can stam bumb out and go to minyan once in awhile, idk.

I just don’t wanna be in the situation where I’m lying in bed all day posting on GYE whining about not going on the internet/Masterbating.

I want to chazer 30 blast Gemara rashi tosfos in Yevamos. I want to learn some more maamarim in Pachad Yitzchak for Pesach. And I want to prepare shiur for the summer where I’ll be giving shiur every morning.
Those are my goals.

Unsure about my chavrusa matzav for next zman, but that’s not my concern right now. 
My objective at this point is to survive and thrive under the upcoming weeks.

Looking forward to continuing this journey together. I’m aware that things won’t be perfect, as they never are.

I ask HaShem Yisborach to grant me the Emuna, Bitachon, and the resolve, to emerge from this upcoming tekufa as a true בן חורין בלב ובנפש.

YeshivaGuy

Wow your posts and progress are so inspiring!
Here's a guy that's from a modern background, had/has all the internet access he wants (or doesn't), if I could guess he was in a co-ed class for at least some of his childhood, doesn't even have a BM near where he lives...
And with all that look where he is holding

He's 190+ days clean.
Gave up his connection to girls.
He's steiging in Yeshiva.
Wants to give up his smartphone, his parents probably think he went crazy or something...
Is not going online over bein Hazmanim.
Won't sleep near his phone at night.

Turned into a real Yeshiva Guy!
Truly Amazing!


Keep inspiring others
HappyYid
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread
Last Edit: 18 Mar 2021 23:46 by HappyYid.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 19 Mar 2021 04:13 #365699

  • YeshivaGuy
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I came home a few hours ago.
It feels like I’m in a vacuum of time. The first thought that comes to mind upon boredom is to go on internet. I realize this will be harder than I thought.
Theres just nothing here, it’s a midbar. 
I hope to wake up early tomorrow to daven, work out, and learn. Starting the day right is key. 

It’s a scary thing, this concept of time and bechira. Time exists and passes no matter what. And it’s within my control what happens during that period.
Time can not be escaped. It can only be harnessed and utilized for conscious construction, or mindless destruction.

Will stay b’kesher, I’m going to need it.

YeshivaGuy

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 19 Mar 2021 06:38 #365703

  • starting
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Is there a project that you can take upon yourself to do that you would enjoy doing when you're bored? 
Apart from learning I mean, something like painting a room or sorting out the garage, maybe even building a model of the beis hamikdash, just something to turn to when you are home? 

And I'll repeat what I say to myself every day 'YeshivaGuy is the tzaddik that we all wish to be. He is the person to learn from. Work hard Starting and you'll also get there'
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 19 Mar 2021 10:01 #365710

  • YeshivaGuy
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starting wrote on 19 Mar 2021 06:38:
Is there a project that you can take upon yourself to do that you would enjoy doing when you're bored? 
Apart from learning I mean, something like painting a room or sorting out the garage, maybe even building a model of the beis hamikdash, just something to turn to when you are home? 


Thanks for this important point.
Im very into genealogy, but requires going on the internet...
Not sure about another hobby, though maybe I’ll find a way to do the genealogy...

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 19 Mar 2021 14:53 #365720

  • mggsbms
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 19 Mar 2021 10:01:

starting wrote on 19 Mar 2021 06:38:
Is there a project that you can take upon yourself to do that you would enjoy doing when you're bored? 
Apart from learning I mean, something like painting a room or sorting out the garage, maybe even building a model of the beis hamikdash, just something to turn to when you are home? 




Thanks for this important point.
Im very into genealogy, but requires going on the internet...
Not sure about another hobby, though maybe I’ll find a way to do the genealogy...

I can relate genealogy completly overtakes me when I'm in the mood. Try researching the towns where these people came from, you can even visit them on Google maps, some towns have Jewish landmarks like shuls and cemeteries, as well as standing tomb stones, it really can give you the feel of going back in time.
Aka -  Mischadeish075
Last Edit: 19 Mar 2021 14:54 by mggsbms.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 19 Mar 2021 18:02 #365728

  • Ish MiGrodno
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And here I thought I was the "European-town-nostalgic-geek"....yet happy to see that others are plagued with this condition as well!

​Gaining a deep understanding of our roots - especially the glory of the Yeshivos during the interwar period - has been a game changer for me.

And of course, the face of the original (and true!) Ish MiGrodno graces all 4 sides of my office at work...so my spiritual role model is "there for me" while I make many of my daily decisions.

YeshivaGuy Shlita,you are very much walking the streets of the heilige towns of Mir and Telshe without even setting foot in them!

​איש מגרודנא

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
jackz90dys@gmail.com

Last Edit: 19 Mar 2021 18:03 by Ish MiGrodno.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 21 Mar 2021 01:52 #365751

  • YeshivaGuy
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Tons of taiva, it’s just “too easy” to nichshal here. It’s insane.
Ill go out for a drive to try calming down, I gotta make it through this motzei Shabbos.
Trying to be smart and not put myself in difficult situations.

Will keep y’all posted

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 21 Mar 2021 01:58 #365752

  • HappyYid
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I could imagine it's so hard...
But keep strong please!

Waiting for the post tomorrow that it went well.

HappyYid
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 21 Mar 2021 02:05 #365756

  • Grant400
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Put yourself in tomorrow's shoes.
I lost a 6 month streak. I will get back there. Not if, but when. When? Now.

l can be reached at: Grant.400@yahoo.com

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 21 Mar 2021 02:10 #365758

  • YeshivaGuy
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Grant400 wrote on 21 Mar 2021 02:05:
Put yourself in tomorrow's shoes.

Good call, plans fell through for tonight, we’ll see what I do.
My little brother wants me to play video games with him but I just gotta get out.
I need to keep in mind that this emotion must be dealt with in a healthy and not destructive manner

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 22 Mar 2021 05:03 #365855

  • YeshivaGuy
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Went on a good hike with my friend today.
Yes, I looked at every pretty girl that passesd us.
We also had a siyum by a family friend and I looked at each girl.....

Besides all that, it was a decent day.
I didn’t have such appropriate conversations with this friend of mine, like somehow we talked about female features we like...
Not good...

Now I’m in bed and I’m super down to masterbate or, since everyone’s sleeping, to go downstairs and watch YouTube.
But instead I’m posting here.

Im tired and am upset at how I look because due to health issues I gained a lot of weight and I look totally different, and it’s very embarrassing. Like I prefer not being seen...

Anyway, going back to the doctor again on chol hamoed. I hope Hashem will have rachmanus on me, as it’s been quite embarrassing watching people shock when they see me...

YeshivaGuy

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 22 Mar 2021 23:18 #365898

  • YeshivaGuy
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Feeling sad, depressed, apathetic, and worthless.
It would be so nice to numb the pain, to feel the blood rush through my veins.
Finnaly, for a smile to grace my face..
I know it’s wrong to misdirect my emotions with destructive behavior.
I know...

 I was in Lakewood today, and seeing the couples, husbands and wife’s together with children, Oy it must be so incredible to have such a relationship.
The pretty girls there weren’t as much the problem, it’s the light in their eyes, I saw a young woman so happy with her baby. That emotion, was so touching, something I very much desire...

Oh, I will give my wife bezras Hashem all of my Self. Every fiber of my being will be dedicated for her happiness and fulfillment.
That is what I want, to give myself 100% to someone. It’s a seemingly odd emotion to have, but after learning kuntrus hachesed, I’m able to identify it.

Im not yet ready though, I need to grow more in learning and in my emotional/spycological health.
And these emotions, coupled with sadness, leads me to taiva... 
I crave hiskashrus. To look into her eyes and say “I love you.” 

And somehow this positive emotion leads me to desire porn or Masterbating. I understood the correlation, but it’s hard.
Feeling so overwhelmed, overcome with emotions raging through me....
Last Edit: 22 Mar 2021 23:37 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 22 Mar 2021 23:21 #365899

  • Striving Avreich
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Chizuk for/in what?

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 22 Mar 2021 23:36 #365900

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You articulated so well many of the feelings I have, even as someone married for many years, happily b"h, with the very blessings you describe, but still have that deep longing. I would not project that onto you, as you are single, however there is something to think about there if these longings are a product of something else going on in our psyche, and not necessarily the dearth of these actual relationships. Food for thought.
Aka -  Mischadeish075
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