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GYE highly recommends searching for a good professional therapist who can help you overcome your challenges and find the well-being that you deserve.

Finding the right therapist for your personal needs is not a simple task. That's why we recommend that you use the Relief organization who specialize in therapist referrals for the Jewish community. They will try to match the right mental health professional for your specific needs. When contacting them you can remain anonymous and anything you tell them will remain strictly confidential.

www.reliefhelp.org Email: info@reliefhelp.org

Im so sorry that this happened to you. You are not alone.
Im so glad you found this group; I hope you find the support you're looking for. 

so so sorry to hear what you went through. Only you truly know how deep is the pain. Please realize - Many have gone through abuse and with the proper therapy ... have developed into strong minded survivors with meaningful and yes happy lives. I trust you will connect with the right therapist and begin your personal journey of redemption.

For those that see Gd being more direct during Corona in many aspects of our daily lives, can take the message and ask ourselves - why did Gd shut down all the Men’s Mikva’s?

Maybe here’s a message that’s it about time to stand up and protect the abused, and stop being so pious when so many are getting harmed. There are many cases where there are known abusers and they were not isolated when they should have been.

JJJ we are all here for you!

What a heart breaking story! How strange are the ways of Hashem, what terrible suffering some neshamos need to go through in their journey on this world 

Have you ever contacted https://amudim.org/? They have a lot of help for people in your situation.

May Hashem show you the great love He has for you. May you be zoche to SEE it soon.

oy vey hashem has really sent you a huge burdan to carry. if i was in your case i would need someone else help me carry such a burdan. that person should be a good theripist who has a good reputation. i really feel your pain and hope that hashem sends you your salvation as soon as possible. Hatzlacha. 

ouch, such a heartbreaking story, i'm crying along with you, i have no words to say.
only hashem the creator of the world can heal your pain, and he will heal it, we have no idea why someone is going throw such hard times, but he will definitely show you the way how to deal with it, and get out of all these hardships. 

This is a very tough story.
It does not surprise that you have felt suicidal, but you have to know that you are not to blame for any of this.
And that you are not a lifelong "victim."

You can go on to have a career and a wife and be productive and even help other people.