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TOPIC: here goes! 1000 Views

here goes! 27 Nov 2018 23:44 #337537

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ok here we go. I've been falling in the last few years. It's not everyday thank Gd! but a few times a year has made me realize that I have an issue that I'm not dealing with properly. So I spoke to a GYE person and they suggested I post. To be honest, I feel disgusting and hate doing this. It's embarrassing and I feel ashamed. I'm the guy that everyone thinks is motivated, trains at the gym, I even give Torah classes but I have a dark sick secret that is killing me. When I hit a certain stress threshold, I crack. I beat myself up all day until I get so sick of it that I do crazy stuff to take my mind off the pain. My only hope is praying this is the last time this happens and I get to the core of my issue BSH

Re: here goes! 27 Nov 2018 23:51 #337538

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Welcome 

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Re: here goes! 27 Nov 2018 23:58 #337539

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It’s a great feeling when we open up completely and put ourselves out there honestly, even with me I never talked about my problem to anyone before and I realised once I did, I really felt liberated. Now that I did that from an encouragement of a NYE person I really encourage everyone else to as well not holding anything back. It’s the best experience bringing it all into the light. It’s so true that difficult things seem to shrink and disappear once you bring them out thanks to the person who encouraged me to open up, who knows maybe we will see a great chain reaction  

Re: here goes! 29 Nov 2018 12:28 #337603

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BH that chain reaction already exists with many people helping others. Its a few "generations" deep. Many who BH get out of this mess feel driven to help others just as they were helped. All i can say is "Join the club"! Great to have another tzaddik on board. Why a tzaddik? Because who else would share with total strangers their most personal and embarrassing info..........
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: here goes! 17 Dec 2018 16:44 #337874

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Why do you think you have an issue for a few times a year?  I'm not trying to minimize it, but there are issues, and then there are issues.  Are you "acting out" only a few times a year, but obsessing, fantasizing more often?  I think there may be more here than you are saying in your first post.  You can be honest here. We all have skeletons.

Re: here goes! 31 Dec 2018 20:23 #338117

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double post
Last Edit: 31 Dec 2018 20:26 by ColinColin.

Re: here goes! 31 Dec 2018 20:25 #338118

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To searcher

I understand the "Stress Threshold".

I have that too.
Stress, tiredness, felling 'low"; these all cause me to act out.
But I have realised that normally I battle the stress by not acting out, by using iron discipline.
But truly that stress remains, is just differed, and eventually I give way and act out.
My last instance was battling that stress for months, kidding myself I was OK, but it was building in the background.

So I am trying a new approach.
My new approach is to prevent the stress from building in the first place by giving myself some "Me time."
And to take a twice or thrice daily "Stress temperature" test to see if I need urgent action to "cool down."

Re: here goes! 01 Jan 2019 01:59 #338122

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So I am trying a new approach.
My new approach is to prevent the stress from building in the first place by giving myself some "Me time."
And to take a twice or thrice daily "Stress temperature" test to see if I need urgent action to "cool down."

You hit the nail on the head! Actually two nails!  Recently a therapist who happens to deal with a lot of sex addiction cases in the Orthodox community said that for some reason we fail to train our kids and teens to regulate their emotions. We "overheat" because we don't take our "stress temperature".... We also set high expectations for our kids and do not provide enough "me time" as you call it.....
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
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