Hey guys I’m relatively new to GYE and I’ve been browsing the forums lately and I’ve been super impressed with the way everyone treats each other here. It really is a tremendous chizuk to see everyone in the fight. And the attitudes towards it are just amazing! My story im 22 I’ve been struggling for years and ignorantly Feeding my addiction I’ve never felt a sense of confidence until I discovered GYE but still I struggle nonetheless I had taken on the taphsic method with a heavy knas of fasting 2days in a row from sunrise to sunset if I fell and I currently have 3 days left of fasting ahead as I have fallen twice already. But the truth is I was going for 10 days which is the longest streak in a long time and I was so proud of myself which made it hard for me when I fell I was super upset at myself but I got up and did it again and lasted for 5 clean days now I had just fallen and have to fast the next 3 days and I don’t know where to go from here. Do I try it again with adjusting the shavua or try another method the truth is 12 steps really scares me 
not sure where to go from here ..... any ideas?

Also I would add that I really enjoyed the taphsic method it gave a fresh feel of confidence in avodas Hashem for real for the first time in a while I felt a real connection. A real feeling of I can succeed . It worked enough for smaller attacks but as soon as I got hit by a tidal wave ... my brain just blocked out the knas even tho it’s a heavy one and totally not worth acting out nevertheless I fell and am not sure if I try a diff knas or maybe a new approach? 
Pls help 

hello and welcome, im very inspired by your determanation, hashem should give you kochos and success!im a little concerned about your fasts, im sorry if i got you wrong,are you fasting 3 days straight?or two days straight?please someone correct me if im wrong,i thought the strong knas comes after violation over a smaller knas MEANING :i make a neder that if i have a urge to act out , i FIRST have to listen to a shmiras eynayim shiur for 20 minutes or exercise  for 20 minutes  and if i act out without listening/exercising THEN i have to fast , or give a big amount to tzedaka etc... meaning the fasting is not supposed to deter me from acting out, but its supposed to get me to stall for 20 minutes or so  ,and what that accomplishes is 2 things
1.it builds up you no muscles until your strong enough to say no not just for 20 minutes but for today (or more)
2.lust comes in waves and when the 20/30 minutes pass alot of times the lust passes(believe it or not) and its not(as) hard to say no , especialy with exercise which scientificly produces endorphins(spelled right?)which   are chemicals which the body produces ,  which give a person a healthy "high" (try it! its great!) and when he has that high he will be able to say no , or lose interest in that lust that triggered him.again, wishing you lots of hatzlacha .maybe press that pop up button that says ASK US ANYTHING  that shows up,at least on my screen on the bottom left corner and ask them if your doing the taphsic as intended , if you are ,KOL HAKAVOD!

the third advantage of pushing off the lust even if there is a fall ch"v in addition to  building up your" no " muscles ,is you pushed off an aveira one second,  two seconds ,20 minutes, not today,THAT ITSELF IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT!and deserving of reward.i heard this in the name of Rav Matisyahu Salamon Shlita,that pushing off an aveira even for  a little is very great and you should know that you ARE shtieging, hatzlacha!

hi thanks a ton really appreciate the chizuk. and yes you understood correctly i have fasted the last 3 days and the final 4th being today i swore that if i didnt do the agreed distractions such as working out or tehillim etc prior to acting out then i would fast 2 days in row from sunrise to sunset as a heavy knas . if i did the distractions prior to acting out then i would only fast one day not 2.the issue was that i acted out once over chag and once right after chag . and i made a tanai in my shavua that if i acted out on chol hamoed that the fasting would occur after yom tov. so i did fallon chol hamoed withoutdistractions before acting out and i accumulated  2 days of fasting and again same story right after chag so i had 4 days straight of fasting which was reall hard but im on the 4th today.so thats basicaly the situaton im hoping to fix up my shavua and get it right next time around 

Ouch

lol thx mark 

HashemEchad wrote on 09 Apr 2018 00:52:

Great post, thanks for sharing!
I would say you can give it another couple of tries but 3 strikes and then on to the next.
More than anything stay connected to winners in recovery here and keep posting and sharing your journey, it helps everyone.
Hatzlacha rabba!

thx alot will do!

hatzlacha,could it be that even fasting one day is a heavy knas?

HashemEchad wrote on 11 Apr 2018 14:20:

You can tell guard about the Taphsic Diet
Itll help all those that need OA

grateful4life wrote on 11 Apr 2018 14:49:

I have been sharing on GYE and in live SA meetings and BH moving forward. Taking direction from those "in the know" has been critical for me. One little detail which I learned from  my sponsor recently which has been tremendously useful in my recovery has been to focus on positive actions of recovery as opposed to keeping away from this or that behavior. For example making phone calls or texting other program brothers throughout the day. btw this mishagas thrives on secrets and isolation as well as the guilt and shame of failing.