Hi, I fell into the trap of mb when I was 14. I've never stopped since, now being 40. It started almost innocently enough from itching in the area. I happened to have been thinking of someone at the time and it happened. I didn't know what happened, and wouldn't know what it was until many months later, but I repeated it other days thereafter since it felt good. By time I realized months later I wanted to immediately stop but I was addicted and couldn't break the bad habit.
I've tried to stop virtually from when I started (and realized what it was) since I knew it was against the Torah. For years I tried all sorts of psychological tricks on my own to stop, but never succeeded for more than a few days or a week at a time. Finally at about age 21 I talked about it with my rebbi (who is Yeshivish), who I was close to (and remained close to for 20 years until he was niftar about 5 years ago) and he signed me up with a therapist eventually, after offering suggestions to me (e.g. financial penalties) that didn't really work for long.
I went for therapy for a couple of years and it might have slowed the issue down, but never ended it. Then I got married and stopped therapy. Marriage also slowed it down in the beginning but it came roaring back not too long thereafter, even when not a nidda. So about another couple years later my rebbi sent me back to therapy. And I saw the same therapist for, typically, a year, year and a half or two, during which time it slowed down a little bit but never stopped, and I slowly dropped out. Another year or two would go by when my rebbi sent me to another therapist, things slowed but didn't stop and I'd drop out after a year or two. Repeat every couple years with different therapists. Almost all the therapists quickly changed the subject from mb to everything else in my life. Only two of the therapists, over the years, kept the focus on the mb, specifically.
My issue with mb and viewing imagery has always been solo. I've never engaged in any interactions, and even never touched anyone (other than spouse), in furtherance of this negative behavior. I hadn't even told my spouse about it, but after a few years it become obvious despite my trying to hide it. I simply deny anything is happening and refuse to discuss it with her. Been like this now for years.
I'm also depressed, anxious and have asperger's. I pretty much have hated life as long as I can remember. I'm tuned out from my spouse, children, family and neighbors (and have been all my life) as I spend most of my day reading the news, participating in online forums discussing Jewish issues, technical discussions and mb multiple times every day from girls seen on the street, at work, in magazines, online and in mainstream video clips. I usually am let go from my job every few months or years and remain unemployed for a very extended period (many months or a year or two) wrecking financial havoc on my family. And I've almost never had friends.
I've pretty much given up a long time ago that I'll ever be able to effect positive change. I feel like I've tried everything for years to stop and simply can't.
