Helpaneshuma wrote on 24 Nov 2017 02:58:

No one would tell an addict with zero sobriety to get a smart phone just so he can access GYE.   (I'm not saying the person who started this thread is an addict.)

And by the way, I married a skinny wife and now she's fat.

Rebbitzen Yemimah Mizrachi said from the Maharal (with a possible speaker's license) regarding women, "Better to be fat and happy than skinny and horrible."

I got the sense this thread was asking for trouble.
Oh no, trouble arrived...

cordnoy wrote on 24 Nov 2017 03:08:

My wife is similar to the cow in Pharaoh's dream: she is fat now, and it is not remembered if she was skinny before.

I learned a lot from a woman with long term sobriety in OA about how to appreciate my wife. I have to love my wife and find her to be beautiful exactly the way she is.  She is who God intended for me, she is the mother of my children, she always has my back when the going gets tough, she has put up with all my faults and loves and accepts me with them. It's a no brainer. Sheker hachain vihevel hayofi ...

Trouble wrote on 24 Nov 2017 03:20:

Ha! But you didn't share the whole story, how do you feel about it? Do you love her? In other words, how's shalom bayis?...

Pharaoh's cow ate and ate and ate, and stayed skinny. Don't we wish...

BTW, I would love to share with you that the past night was the first one that I remember sleeping through with a unblocked smartphone at home without even thinking of it! Thanks GYE!
In the past such a night went like this: I came home with a smile, we talked for a few minutes, than I started to pressure that we have to go sleep early.. When we arrived in bed I waited for her to fall asleep. Then my night started ;'(... It usually took about 3 hours! If she woke up (to the baby etc.) I told her that my stomach hurts or that I can't sleep....

BTW, regarding the smartphone; I didn't make my decision yet & I apologize to all for the machloka that I started

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 24 Nov 2017 15:39:

First of all, Pharaoh didn't have the cow, it was just in his dreams... We are all dreaming about cows, has nothing to do with reality.

Mr. Gevura, Pharaoh had 2 types of cows & yes it's always good to look on the good side
BTW, the sc good side wasn't good at all, it represented the years of hunger. Not everything that looks good is really good...
(never mind, I'm talking to my self )

youcan wrote on 24 Nov 2017 15:36:

Didn't know it was story time.
Feel? I want her skinny.
Love her? Don't know. Probably not.
Shalom bayis? Pretty good.

youcan wrote on 24 Nov 2017 15:56:

Not sure about you, but I don't dream about cows.

For what it's worth:

Last week in the parashah Hashem saw that Leah was hated. The obvious question is how could Yakov Avinu hate his wife?? For she wasn't pretty like Rachel?? Yakov Avinu?? But the reason is that Yakov felt that it wasn't he who decided to marry her, rather Luvan fooled him in. He couldn't get to love her because she wasn't his decision. Many people married women that didn't reach Rachel's beauty and loved them, for they felt it was their choice. They weren't fooled into it. 
Note that who like Yakov knew that Leah was his basherta zivug, but that didn't help much. 

It's sad.

I wish you all the best!!

Dear Friend

I know that you meant no bad but I will use some strong words in response to the above vort
CV"S to say that Yaakov avienu hated Leah it is very clearly stated by all miforshim that it was in comparison to Rochel 
I am only responding like this as it bothers me that people put their own emotions into the Torah.
Yes we are all struggling and want and maybe even need validation but there has to be a limit on how far we will go to get it 

Loveu, with all due respect, you claim to have married a skinny wife AND you picked her yourself yet you and Youcan are having the same struggles and are pretty much in the same boat. Don't make him feel worse about his situation because of how Hashem sent him his bashert. Obviously picking our own beautiful skinny wife didn't guarantee any of us anything. And besides he did say that he loves his wife so saying that Lea was hated cuz yakov was fooled doesn't apply here. This story is sad-yes-just as sad as all our stories for the mere fact that we ended up here. Youcan, YOU CAN get out of this im yertza hashem. Don't think of yourself as being stuck because of past circumstances.