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Made it six months and start over today :(
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TOPIC: Made it six months and start over today :( 1703 Views

Made it six months and start over today :( 04 Oct 2017 14:05 #320905

  • OzerHashem
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Hi Everyone,

Im new to GYE (first post ). I've been in SA for the past 8 months got sober and got onto a good path. Made it six months with no masterbation or pornography and then lost it last night. 

I've known that the past six months weren't truly 100% sober but it was far greater then I had ever done until now. Having an app say that I am sober was good enough for me. After all I wasn't FULLY masterbating perhaps just touching...or wasn't looking at pornography and just looking at the begining of the videos / pictures where clothing was on...

Not making the next right step and allowing myself a small amount of temptation led to a full slow gradual breakdown. I look at it like putting a noose around my neck and slowly tightening it...

Words of encouragement / inspiration and guidance would be great. Its hard to get on the bandwagon after having had six months sobriety...and to start towards my next six months... I guess its just one day at a time... start today!!! I can do it!!!!

Gut Yom Tov
Last Edit: 04 Oct 2017 14:07 by OzerHashem.

Re: Made it six months and start over today :( 04 Oct 2017 14:47 #320906

  • Markz
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Welcome brother

Keep us posted you're on a good road, just be careful because driving on the shoulder can wear down your tires


KEEP ON TRUCKING ;-)
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Re: Made it six months and start over today :( 04 Oct 2017 15:46 #320910

  • gibbor120
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6 months is AMAZING!  Many here would LOVE to have 6 months.

The end of a streak can be depressing, but you did it once, you seem to have learned the lesson about "half measures availed us nothing".  If you flirt with temptation, it will get you.

Get up dust yourself off, and get back on the horse.

You are doing amazing!  Don't let a fall get you down.

Re: Made it six months and start over today :( 04 Oct 2017 16:15 #320913

  • dms1234
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Do you have a sponsor, were you working the steps?
I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com

My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor. 

Re: Made it six months and start over today :( 04 Oct 2017 17:34 #320916

  • LoveU,Hashem
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Shulem alichem!! 6 month is a beautiful streak and will always stay on your records. Regardless of what you do now. But your records doesn't matter that much.. What matter is TODAY and TODAy only. That's an easy one. Today Is half over anyways.. 

Look at this fall as a reminder to change your strategy, walking by the edges is impossible to last forever..

Have a great and happy yom tov! And a clean day TODAY! 

Re: Made it six months and start over today :( 10 Oct 2017 23:40 #321008

  • colincolin
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Well done.

I find that almost masterbating but not quite doing it is dangerous.
It is of course better than spilling seed, but it hints that the underlying causes for masterbating are still present.
I usually find that when  'touch" or look at porn for a few seconds it leads to doing this for longer and more often until I eventually act out in full.

But, it is to be expected having been a compulsive porn watcher for years.

I can suggest as soon as the urge to look at porn or touch yourself happens, then instantly do something else which is positive i.e.study, read a book, go for a walk or simply breathe deeply and congratulate yourself on your positive journey so far and remember how well you have done.
Think positive.
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