I keep seeing this passuk and can’t help but notice how true and pointed it really is. 

דחה דחיתני לנפול וה׳ עזרני
“You have pushed me to fall but Hashem has helped me”

It always caught my attention.

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 18 Dec 2017 19:14:

I have a similar issue. I realized that If I go to the office on a Sunday (when I usually don't work) chances are that I will fall. I tried being accountable to another person by texting him that I have an urge now and I'm going into the office now and I will not fall. The accountability and the fact that I gave my word to someone about it beforehand that I won't fall helped me. I only tried it twice, I hope it will continue to work. Because I HAVE to see myself out of this dungeon. Its been long enough! 

For me as well, accountability helped me. check out my signature link.

abd297 wrote on 18 Dec 2017 18:58:

I’m not pushing you to share the details, but keeping it as this mysterious thing you won’t tell anyone certainly won’t help you; it makes it this big monster that you can’t get near. And there’s a good chance that if you bring it out in the open you’ll see that it ain’t all that. 

I know exactly what it is and why it is what it is for me. I am reluctant to share details because I know it’s completely crazy. For some reason I’ve had this bizarre fetish my whole life. I’m also scared of getting other people thinking about it and putting things in people’s heads. I know that there are probably a few others out there with similar/the same fetish but I have yet to hear or see anything of the sort in general and on GYE. It’s not necessarily sexual which makes it even more bizarre. Most weird fetishes I hear about are something random done in a sexual way. This is something  mundane that I basically substitute for sex and porn. It is my porn and object of sexual fantasy/desire. Yes it almost always involves women, but not necessarily. It is this particular thing and some details about it but not particularly the people.

I can can be wrong and maybe every fresh is like this. I’m happy to hear guy’s thoughts on this. It’s a hard topic to discuss because you don’t want to get ideas in other’s heads. Just writing the above was powerful for me. Interesting. 

abd297 wrote on 20 Dec 2017 16:24:

I see that WG already wrote above what I was gonna write here.

Dear abd,
All I understand from your message is that you have a desire for something similar to lust (I'm thinking now of one thing that it may be), you're very embarrassed by it & you are pressured stressed and scared just from thinking that you may have that "situation" again. You should definitely talk to someone about it.
I don't think you've to be worried about the people here, if somebody would have the desire for whatever it may be they would find it their selves (we all have a history of finding what we desired), not everything that is interesting for you is interesting for others. Also don't forget that the people here won't buy new ideas, they're struggling with the old ones...
also, it is very unlikely that you discovered a new issue/situation or... that nobody here knows about, so chances are that somebody here can help you out.

I feel that I didn't express my self too good (my English is far from good) but I think you will understand. I only wrote cuz I feel very bad for you.

I hope that you'll find a way out of your situation very soon.

I have to disagree with about causing other people to think things. You say that people already know what they struggle with and won’t be triggered to look up new things. 
If I say that I masturbate to women doing_____________ don’t you think that people will all of the sudden have that in mind. I agree that most people would just say “that’s weird” or something like that and never think about it again but it may not be true for some people. 

It also doesn’t really matter what it is because I treat it as porn. Maybe it doesn’t fall under the category of porn but to me they are the same. 

You can private message me if you want with your theory about what I’m talking about if you want. 

And also, I rarely see people talk on the open forums about their particular fetishes or go into detail about their struggles. I assume many of them have talked privately about them to counselors or here with private messaging. 

Thanks for sharing. Being able to control myself takes a lot of exercise and practice for me. Of course you probably know I would say "letting go" instead of controlling.  Today I wanted to say something to my son that may have been construed as being judgmental so I let it it go and didn't say it. It's about surrendering my will and I have to keep practicing it in non-sexual situations. It's whenever I get urge I have to practice letting go. For me it looks like this sometimes, I take a breath and breath it out and let it go.  I think this forum is a great place to practice letting go. Instead of answering someone up when I really want to, I can say thank you. I can even really consider what they are saying and put my ego aside. I can also not look back after I comment. To me that is surrender. 

serenity wrote on 20 Dec 2017 22:00:

Wonderful, brother! I realized this week that I am criticizing my wife way to much and am too much in control of everything and can't let it go like you said. I have decided that I will not utter a word of criticism for the next two weeks as this is getting out of hand. Its killing her moral and confidence. But it is a real battle. What do you say to yourself when you let go from such a situation? Why should I let go? It's my life, isn't it? 

I am sorry to anyone if I came off too strong. I was caught up in the moment and should have toned it down a bit. 

I still hold by what I said in my posts from the past few days. 

abd297 wrote on 20 Dec 2017 20:36:

You should do what you understand is right, but I would still recommend you should talk about it to a person you trust. You shouldn't feel about anything the way you feel about this.
I wouldn't private message you about this since I'm not confident that I can help you, but if you want to contact me I have no problem.

serenity wrote on 20 Dec 2017 22:00:

Just to clarify my comment about not always responding to people's posts and being able to let go was not directed to or a criticism of any comment that was made in this conversation  It was a general point about how it helps me to learn control instincts and reactions to practice not reacting to things in general. 

Hello abd. 
I'm curious what ever happened with the mindfulness that you were dabbling with in the summer. It is something that I read about and dabbled with as well. Thinking about doing it more seriously. 
Also curious what ever happened at that thing that you were talking about last week. Did you get out unscathed? 
Shmira