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Addict liprokim (for specific days)
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TOPIC: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 19933 Views

Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 09:06 #315792

  • Michael94
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Hi, I'm single and bh I'm a happy person but there is one thing that is hindering my happiness and that is that once in a month or once in two months or even three months their comes in me (my head, my feelings,) that I need to watch.... And that takes a toll on me or I overcome it (rarely but I have done it) and if not I find myself in a nasty hole....
can anyone give me a good description were am I holding in this nisayon and what's there for me to do?

ps I started having this nisayon 3 years ago, which means i was older than 20.
Last Edit: 21 Jun 2017 09:25 by Michael94.

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 09:37 #315793

  • GrowStrong
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Hey there!
Have you had a chance to read through this ?
guardyoureyes.com/the-gye-program/initial-evaluation

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 09:47 #315794

  • Michael94
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And bh there's a filter on my phone  BUT when the urges arise I'll get that person to open up my browser and there's no way off me not getting it open, now when I open it i first start with watching YouTube videos and slowly but sorely i end up... And so in continues for a day or two and then i say stop and I mean STOP so i usually stop for a period of between one month to 2 and then another fall:((((( now this is clearly not life and I need to stop period although taking the approach of odaat but here's the catch for the first 37 days I don't need it and when I overcome that few days I don't have the nisoyan for the next 37 days but when time catches up with (it's hard for me to say but I'll say it) me (although it's not the REAL ME) I feel like an real addict (((
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 09:50 #315795

  • Michael94
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Yes I have scanned through it,that's exactly my problem I don't know where on that chart I'm holding

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 11:15 #315798

  • Hashem Help Me
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How about having TAG or someone who wont open your browser for you set up the filter on your phone.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 11:36 #315801

  • Michael94
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Excuse for my ignorance what is TAG?
i have a filter and i can only go on specific sites, but when I want it open I convince the guy that has the password to put in the code and i allow all website until the next day when i tell him to put back in the code
what I could(which is s bit scary)do is to ask my friend to put in the code and not to write down the code that that way he'll forget the code and I'm doomed;) 
the down side is that, i only put up a safeguard and when the urge will rise again I'm scared, I'll get hold of another device or computer; so I guess the only real solution is to fellow the steps laid out by guardureyes (obviously in addition to the filter).

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 12:47 #315806

  • cordnoy
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My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 18:19 #315837

  • bear
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Michael94 wrote on 21 Jun 2017 11:36:
Excuse for my ignorance what is TAG?
i have a filter and i can only go on specific sites, but when I want it open I convince the guy that has the password to put in the code and i allow all website until the next day when i tell him to put back in the code
what I could(which is s bit scary)do is to ask my friend to put in the code and not to write down the code that that way he'll forget the code and I'm doomed;) 
the down side is that, i only put up a safeguard and when the urge will rise again I'm scared, I'll get hold of another device or computer; so I guess the only real solution is to fellow the steps laid out by guardureyes (obviously in addition to the filter).

Whats up Michael94!
I think it would be a good move to get accountability/reporting software, that way even if you convince your friend to unblock the internet, you will still have the accountability/reporting software running and he will see everything that you do when your online. So even if he unblocks the computer you wont be able to get away with it. 
Truth is in addition to accountability software, would also strongly recommend finding a way to make sure that the internet can not get unblocked. I love the idea Hashem Help Me wrote above.
Hatzlacha!
Last Edit: 21 Jun 2017 18:23 by bear.

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 18:26 #315838

  • dms1234
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Hi, I'm single and bh I'm a happy person but there is one thing that is hindering my happiness and that is that once in a month or once in two months or even three months their comes in me (my head, my feelings,) that I need to watch.... And that takes a toll on me or I overcome it (rarely but I have done it) and if not I find myself in a nasty hole....
can anyone give me a good description were am I holding in this nisayon and what's there for me to do?

ps I started having this nisayon 3 years ago, which means i was older than 20.

I'm sorry, but what is exactly your problem? Now, for me honesty is the key here if I really want to get better. You don't have to share with me, or anyone on this forum, perhaps with no one (although i highly recommend it as it reduces the shame of what we have done). Did you look at porn, masturbate? Both? For me, I need to honest, ruthlessly honest as to what i am doing/did and what am thinking?

For example, yesterday i saw women in a bathing suit a few times and I called someone up and shared it to them. I told him "there is this really attractive here, i saw her a couple times and I really want to keep looking at her. I feel the lust. It feels like i just induced opium. I want more." I try to be very honest with myself and what I am feeling. Lying is what got me in this mess in the first place. 

Its just a suggestion but it works. If you want to share more you can message me. 
I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com

My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor. 

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 18:28 #315839

  • bear
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Also as you pointed out a good filter is not the end all be all answer, because life is complex and there are other places where you can be challenged( example friends laptop or tv in a hotel, etc. ).  Therefore if you have not done so yet, would highly recommend going through the GYE handbook and the Fortify Program. fortifyprogram.org/
Hatzlacha  

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 19:26 #315842

  • Michael94
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dms1234 wrote on 21 Jun 2017 18:26:


Hi, I'm single and bh I'm a happy person but there is one thing that is hindering my happiness and that is that once in a month or once in two months or even three months their comes in me (my head, my feelings,) that I need to watch.... And that takes a toll on me or I overcome it (rarely but I have done it) and if not I find myself in a nasty hole....
can anyone give me a good description were am I holding in this nisayon and what's there for me to do?

ps I started having this nisayon 3 years ago, which means i was older than 20.

I'm sorry, but what is exactly your problem? Now, for me honesty is the key here if I really want to get better. You don't have to share with me, or anyone on this forum, perhaps with no one (although i highly recommend it as it reduces the shame of what we have done). Did you look at porn, masturbate? Both? For me, I need to honest, ruthlessly honest as to what i am doing/did and what am thinking?

For example, yesterday i saw women in a bathing suit a few times and I called someone up and shared it to them. I told him "there is this really attractive here, i saw her a couple times and I really want to keep looking at her. I feel the lust. It feels like i just induced opium. I want more." I try to be very honest with myself and what I am feeling. Lying is what got me in this mess in the first place. 

Its just a suggestion but it works. If you want to share more you can message me. 

Hi dms123! 
I thank you for being here for me.
its %100 true what u wrote that for me it's shameful to write down exactly what's the problem and sharing it but it has to get done, b/c it's kinda funny if I don't, for to do the action the shame doesn't prevent me (the shame is routed in the fact that I can't be loyal, in control to myself to my religion and yes i say religion) so why when it comes to writing it down  would the shame prevent me? So the conclusion is that's the עצת היצר. now let's be clear that the shame isn't the fact that I'm sharing it with others, simply b/c they don't know my identity, on the other hand there is element of ביטול, as u put it I need to be honest with myself and others here and I'll take ur advice seriously and now for others to deal with someone else's issue it involves a great amount of bitul.


Now as for ur question of what's the nature of my actions, I view p.. (I still can't get myself to write the full word although when I check it up i can write it) and that follows mas.. , now I wouldn't mas... Without viewing p.. So it's a package deal

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 21:38 #315853

  • cordnoy
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Michael94 wrote on 21 Jun 2017 19:26:

dms1234 wrote on 21 Jun 2017 18:26:


Hi, I'm single and bh I'm a happy person but there is one thing that is hindering my happiness and that is that once in a month or once in two months or even three months their comes in me (my head, my feelings,) that I need to watch.... And that takes a toll on me or I overcome it (rarely but I have done it) and if not I find myself in a nasty hole....
can anyone give me a good description were am I holding in this nisayon and what's there for me to do?

ps I started having this nisayon 3 years ago, which means i was older than 20.

I'm sorry, but what is exactly your problem? Now, for me honesty is the key here if I really want to get better. You don't have to share with me, or anyone on this forum, perhaps with no one (although i highly recommend it as it reduces the shame of what we have done). Did you look at porn, masturbate? Both? For me, I need to honest, ruthlessly honest as to what i am doing/did and what am thinking?

For example, yesterday i saw women in a bathing suit a few times and I called someone up and shared it to them. I told him "there is this really attractive here, i saw her a couple times and I really want to keep looking at her. I feel the lust. It feels like i just induced opium. I want more." I try to be very honest with myself and what I am feeling. Lying is what got me in this mess in the first place. 

Its just a suggestion but it works. If you want to share more you can message me. 

Hi dms123! 
I thank you for being here for me.
its %100 true what u wrote that for me it's shameful to write down exactly what's the problem and sharing it but it has to get done, b/c it's kinda funny if I don't, for to do the action the shame doesn't prevent me (the shame is routed in the fact that I can't be loyal, in control to myself to my religion and yes i say religion) so why when it comes to writing it down  would the shame prevent me? So the conclusion is that's the עצת היצר. now let's be clear that the shame isn't the fact that I'm sharing it with others, simply b/c they don't know my identity, on the other hand there is element of ביטול, as u put it I need to be honest with myself and others here and I'll take ur advice seriously and now for others to deal with someone else's issue it involves a great amount of bitul.


Now as for ur question of what's the nature of my actions, I view p.. (I still can't get myself to write the full word although when I check it up i can write it) and that follows mas.. , now I wouldn't mas... Without viewing p.. So it's a package deal

There are those who might say that you shouldn't expect to recover until you can actually write, "I view porn and I masturbate while watchin'."

JustJust sayin'.....
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 22:47 #315857

  • Michael94
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I view porn and masterbate while watching 

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 22:52 #315858

  • cordnoy
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Michael94 wrote on 21 Jun 2017 22:47:
I view porn and masterbate while watching 

A+ for effort

A+ for honesty and humility

C- for spellin'
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days) 21 Jun 2017 22:53 #315859

  • Markz
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Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days)

If gye website is split and 1 is allocated for your friendly type it will probably be cheaper to maintain as it will only be open on the 3rd Monday of every month

Then for the truly anonymous among us, there will be a truly anonymous website which will not be announced anywhere

More to come iyH
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