eerie wrote on 16 Jun 2024 20:37:

I appreciate your continued support and confidence in me. I know how to distract myself and usually do a decent job.

I am going to try to explain a little without being too explicit.
I am going through a little of a challenging situation now. I can be standing in middle of Shemonah Esra and be hit with such a wave of arousal with the physical symptoms of being aroused. I don't even know if I am allowed to daven in such a state. I usually pause and focus on the brocho I am holding at, until the urge passes.

I fall asleep at night, only to wake up a short while later with such an intense urge. I generally end up distracting myself enough to be able to go back to sleep. Sometimes this repeats itself multiple times a night.

I know it is a situation I am going through now and I can overcome this but I needed support which is why I started posting again.

Thanks for the PM. I gave up dreaming about winning the lottery, sometimes I dream of somehow making ends meet!

lionking wrote on 16 Jun 2024 22:17:

With me, all forms of distractions do wonders; so even dreaming about making ends meet - how much $ do I need - what ways can I cut spending - what cheaper foods can we eat. These are all ways of distracting our thoughts from .,....

KOMT!!!!!!!
Muttel

I haven't posted in a while. I just wanted to share a thought which I am working on now. B"H it is very helpful for me and I think it might help others as well.

I've been around the block for over 20 years. Yes I had a lot of good periods during those years and unfortunately a lot of setbacks as well.

I remember an older generation which had such a pashdus to them. Their תמימות was steadfast with such a תמידות.Reb Elimelech Biderman repeats alot of times from the elders of Yerushlaim,I am not thinking about the thousands of times which I have masturbated, or the thousands of times which I have looked at something improper, nor am I worrying about the future if I will be successful in staying clean. All that is irrelevant, what's important is the now. What does Hashem want me to do at this moment? Will I be successful at staying clean this coming year? I don't know, and at the moment I honestly don't care. Can I look away this second when faced with a nisoiyon? Yes I can look away for one second, and that's what is important to focus on now.

Today's Vayimean is very inspiring.

Vayimaen: My Goal for Today | Rabbi Naftali Horowitz
records.jewishpodcasts.fm/protected/1582/1726449337909.mp3?show_id=619&episode_id=86621

lionking wrote on 15 Sep 2024 14:51:

With all due respect to Reb Meilich: 

There is no such thing as thinking nothing. You either think thoughts G-d wants you to think or you rebel against him in your mind.

oivedelokim wrote on 17 Sep 2024 03:19:

Reb Meilich isn't talking about not thinking anything at all. As you say, a person's brain is constantly thinking, either good thoughts or bad thoughts.
He's referring to a persons worries. You have something on your mind. You're worried about the future. So Reb Meilich is saying, rather than trying to think hopeful and positive thoughts, it's even better not to think anything at all and just leave it to Hashem! 
As they say: העבר אין והעתיד עדיין וההווה כהרף עין דאגה מנין. 
As lionking says, living in the moment is really the only way to manage overcome urges, otherwise one can easily fall into despair...
Amazing chizzuk, thanks!

Thanks upanddown for the Peirish. That's exactly how understood it as well. 

@OivedElokim Thanks for stopping by and reading my post, and Mazel Tov on your engagement. May you be zoche to build a Beias Neiman B'Yisroel and only have an abundance of good in your life.

Just to clarify, it is not easy work to not worry. I am struggling immensely. I have a lot of stressors now and it is very difficult not to worry.
However in the past, my struggle was not to pacify my worries with acting out.
I B"H shifted that struggle. Now my struggle is to surrender those worries to Hashem and let him lead me on the path he chose for me.

Constantly striving for complete sanity.