Hi, im 17 and about two years ago there was a while that I watched porn, since then I have been moitzei zera very regularly. I also really njoy speaking about sexual matters and would often try to draw my friends into speaking about such things. Last week I txted 2 new friends in my yeshiva trying to bring them to disscussing these bad topics. Somehow word spread and my mashgiach found out what I did. I had tried speaking to him earlier for advice on how to stop being moitzei zera so he knew what I had watched in school. As soon as he heard about those txts he sent me home for therapy. My therapist suggested I take a look at this website and that I put this blog in. Hoping to stop asap as the current situation is extremely embarassing because half of my yeshiva have found out about the txts. Can't wait to hear back from u guys:blush:

Welcome I blush too about myself

its embarrassing the first time one enters SA and says "my name is ... and I'm an addict"

there's many many boys that talk and txt about these things. If you can get this struggle under control you'll be able to show the light to many :-)

Welcome
ouch that is a hard way to get caught but kudos to you for not going into hiding rather stepping up to the plate 
​I'm no expert but hopefully some more experienced guys will post soon  (i see markz reading your post personally i like what he say) but why do you think you try to get others to fall with you?

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 30 Jan 2017 23:11:

Sunderland may be a bad boy, but I don't believe so

See the rat park video in spoiler below
The opposite of addiction is connection

But the opposite of connection is connection

Sunderland wants to be connected with his friends and this is how they connect

hes not a bad kid
Only it's time to find preferred connection methods, like the "Trucking Story" in spoiler below.

KEEP ON THE TRUCKING. BEEP BEEP

whoa never meant to imply sunderland (are you from england) is a bad boy if anything what he is doing here proves that he is a great boy
the rat park vid. is great story have to remind myself about

Tx. Never reaized I'll get so much suport so quickly! Hope 2 get things under control asap and then start life anew. Btw any suggestions how 2 deal with the embarresment when I do go back 2 yeshiva in a few weeks. About half the guys know I sent bad txts bc some guys can't keep their mouth shut?

AAlready seem vid

nice new name why the change?
just a heads up while it is nice to want to get things under control asap this can be a danderous mind set as explained in that nice trucking story in markz signature (just read through it now)please be aware that this might not have an immediate fix.
​as far as to dealing with the embarrassment maybe ask your therapist and or mashgiach
you are doing a great thing here so be proud of yourself and KOT

B'hatzlacha 

Yitzk wrote on 30 Jan 2017 23:34:

For every half guy that knows, there are 2 monstah gyes here that care about you. And often, some guys that shout the loudest have issues themselves, often with sexual material, so don't get too perturbed by them

That is a good point. But it will still b very embarassing, I'm just imagining the stares when I come back 

HHow do i find that trucking story?

Yitzk wrote on 31 Jan 2017 09:31:

http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/The%20First%20Day%20of%20the%20Rest%20of%20My%20Life.pdf

GrowStrong wrote on 31 Jan 2017 11:09:


​or click on the spoiler in markz signature it will be on the bottom  

Thats wonderful that you come out and write the blog, already this helped alot to me just to write things down then you don't have to think about it the whole in order not to forget. As Markz once said it hurts to get caught it hurts more to keep going and not knowing when it will stop by itself - because it does not unless you work on it.

Good luck and keep us informed how its going. 

You guys are all amazing!!!! Will definitely let u know how it's going. Any suggestions about the embarrassment??