Moudmack wrote on 29 Oct 2016 23:50:

IYH by all of us of simchas!

Great news!!!

R' YidFromMonsey , first of all a belated welcome to GYE ! 
Second , I relate very much to your experience that the frum women on the street are a bigger nisayon than the billboards in Manhattan . What is your strategy to not look ? No filter helps for that . . . 

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote on 31 Oct 2016 01:25:

Thanks BT.BH,

my strategy consists of davening and trying to avoid streets and stores as much as possible, it not aways is possible to avoid so I just talk a lot to hashem, not only during davening but also throughout the day.

With all that said, some days the fight is brutal and I don't always succeed in not looking....

Thank YFM for your shares and mazel tov for your 52 days. May you be zoche one day at a time to many many more days.

Thank you

Feeling like a complete sick idiot today!

omg

Eyeglasses wrote on 31 Oct 2016 22:46:

Say that again

YidFromMonsey wrote on 28 Oct 2016 19:39:

Shulem Aleichim Reb Yid,

Congratulations on your clean streak, keep it up B'Hatzlocho! You can figure out what drives it by keeping a log of your day especially when you feel a struggle. I identified my triggers but still don't have a solution to remove what drives it, or the root of the problem as people call it. Everyone is different, but my triggers are: Stress, work related and raising B"H Family with tight finances. Feelings of overwhelmness, low self esteem, feeling like a failure even if I know it's not true. Probably mild depression too. I don't have solutions for my triggers, but I try to channel myself in positive ways, like actively looking for the good Hashem does to me and the world. Thinking about other people (No not about objectiving woman!) Thinking about how I need to appreciate Hashem that I have a wife when others don't, I have healthy kids B"H, while sadly others don't, I have a Job while others I know don't, etc...
Identifying your triggers can help you be aware that Warning, Slippery road ahead, and take a different street.
Hatzlucha Rabba! 
P.s. I once thought moving to Monsey would be my solution, I see it's universal!

Sorry just read through the entire thread. I can relate to what you are saying about heimishe woman being more of a problem. I think it's because in the back of our head we know that the woman in Manhattan is totally not for us, while we think of the jewish woman as being available. It's called rationalisation.
I know I'll probably get flagged for the above, but I think it's true. For example how many people do you know that lust after a bloody mess of a cripple in a hospice, our mind doesn't even imagine it. I think you get the gist of what I'm writing. We need to rewire our brain that every woman except for one's wife is totally inaccessible.
Regarding the active imagination, perhaps you can channel for good, like positive fantasy and dreamland while in park so that you don't let it wander?
just my 2 cents.
Hatzlucha Rabba!

jewishfiltergeek wrote on 01 Nov 2016 09:01:

When one identifies ten triggers, perhaps it is time to reevaluate and see if there really is perhaps one underlying factor.

Good advice! Thank you

Have to get this out there, if you're not interested you don't have to read.

This week was a total disaster, going from 52 days clean to 5 days unclean, and all from stupid lusting.

I feel like a total failure and a piece of sh**, falling is one thing but the depth to where I fell - doing things that I didn't do for 4 years but now I'm back at it.

Don't know how I'll get myself to get up once again but shabbos is coming and I will definitely try.

Git shabbos everyone 

Please daven for me as I'm in a real bad place now  

Sorry to hear

Shabbos is a time of re-focusing. Maybe printout the handbook to read over Shabbos and put sticky notes where you feel inspired. Some dov quotes too will be fun to read

Then after Shabbos lets keep the momentum going

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!

Thanks for the share.

 take the next step.

B'hatzlachah