thanks for sharing that tool , its always good to hear different techniques people use.

did your wife ever ask why your snapping your fingers?

That technique sounds really good. I'll try it out
have a good shabbos

I promise you bl"n that I don't trust myself to keep promises - Cuss I may break my oath.
I feel like swearing now grrrr (Cordnoy can you help me pls)

If you are into swearing, the Taphsic thing on the top of the page in the dropdown may be down your street, but is not the lane my Truck is in...

KOT

 

Yesod wrote on 26 Feb 2016 17:34:

Very well said. The key is how to develop a close relationship with Hashem. The 12 steps are one way of doing that but there are others.

I think developing a relationship with Hashem involves doing your best. He doesn't ask us to do more than we're capable of. B"H my G-d is not vindictive and doesn't abandon me after just a few minutes or hours of not thinking about Him.

Watson wrote on 27 Feb 2016 19:11:

Gd never abandoned us,  not even during our worst episode.
Its about "us letting gd" in, i find that being a human and all, it's fairly easy to miss doing that. 

 

Markz:

I would venture to guess that whether or not you keep a promise hinges on the degree of difficulty that it would entail.

Surely most people wouldn't be challenged by postponing for a few minutes an activity that they know to be harmful and that they know they want to resist, don't you think? And if 15 minutes won't do it, how about five minutes?

I believe that this is the integral difference between TaPHSiC and what I am advocating (bearing in mind that they are not mutually exclusive): TaPHSiC is a planned commitment. It involves a serious undertaking and it bears great responsibility. It is a formidable and powerful tool in and of itself.

My idea involves no planning at all. It is meant for someone who is at the brink of a fall, whether or not he has made a taphsic commitment. It's a last-minute attempt to avert a catastrophe.

musician wrote on 28 Feb 2016 03:41:

Sounds like a great idea if that is what someone can use to get him over the heat.

Whateva woiks

Gut Voch Fb2016fbt.
I'm also 23 and I just started my 90-day journey. I'm sorry that I can't give you any advice, because I myself am in need of the same. But one thing I do know: I'm beginning to have more confidence in myself, now that I see I'm not alone in my situation.
My Hashem give us the strength to succeed in achieving our goals of freedom from lust and lead healthy, normal lives בקרוב.

musician wrote:



My friend I highly respect the fact that this tool has helped you even if it is something that I totally cannot understand

One thing that we try to keep away from on these forums, is heated debates, so I don't intend to stoke anything here AT ALL

I am a rigid think and therefore see things the way that other people might not

There's a thead in my signature called "Free Towing" where many many current 100 day + successful truckers are listed. Many lanes are used by them on the Trucking highway to recover.
 
I have not done my research, but I did not see too many of those truckers succeeding long term with Oaths to be totally clean from from porn and mast*. Therefore in my mind it's not a tool to be recommended to newcomers, at all
Again - sorry for my rigid perception

If anyone has long term success with Taphsic - pls share it, cos I haven't seen it

If my words stress you out, feel free to click the "hands-down" button below

im also 23
im married
been here 5 months
has changed my life
stay strong!

Fb2016fbt: Great courage to start your own thread!! Its just the start to a long fulfilling recovery B'ezras Hashem, Hatzlocha!

Group support is the way!!

Obviously each to there own but i would like to share that i find the Taphsic shvua really powerful being that theres a heavy knas involved and one must have distractions to avoid it, but of course without the will and realization of why we must stop no knas could really help.

markz wrote on 28 Feb 2016 05:49:

Not every tool is designed that there will be immediate long-term success, (yes I know that statement was an oxymoron). Some tools are just there to start the journey, even if they may not cure the problem in the long run. For that, taphshic is helpful.

So lamaysa with which steps does the oilam think we're most useful in their recovery? I'm still falling!!!
any specific advise for a bochur?

I'm not a bachur
Someone decided I'm too old for the teen forum

There's a nice bachurs story here, and afterwards feel free to checkout the success stories in the "Free Towing" page

As I mentioned before, listening to call, or participation, or having someone to talk to can jump you 90 miles ahead

All the best

Fb2016fbt wrote on 01 Mar 2016 19:16:

I'm not sure if this was asked already, but did you read the GYE Handbook?