bh day by day goes by and i feel stronger and stronger. i just know that a strong nisayon will come and i have to be mentally and physically prepared to fight it

I remember having that exact same thought, so I can relate. Be aware that the strong nisayon may not seem that way at first. For me it was a vacation and I had zero worries about it.

Long time no speak!
So i'm b"h still going strong but my biggest challenge is keeping my head up at times when my wife get's down and sad about her plight. It hurts me tremendously and i feel so weak by it.
It's at those times that i feel like i don't have any strength left.
I get filled with guilt but not self pity...

fresh start wrote:


there are groups for women but you cannot push her to go.

It is tough and one slip that they know about brings it all back.

We gotta start strong and positive and keep repeating the correct decisions. We cannot make her change, but we can change ourselves.

B'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote:



That's so true!

Shkoiyach!

fresh start wrote:
My strongest motivation to stay sober, is that I can't go through that awful period when my wife found out again. I'm scared to death of it. It was hell, and I don't wish to repeat it.

fresh start wrote:


there are several options for spouses of addicts, meetings phone meetings s-anon etc.
my wife has gotten tremendous chizuk from a phone shiur/meeting for spouses and also from live meetings (in yerushalayim, they have several in eng and heb)

fresh start wrote:


there is not much you can do for quick fix solutions for her worrying about her plight, bez''h her seeing your sincerity should help for the long run,
but if she is interested there are eitzos for her to get chizuk thru phone meetings or live meetings or thru speaking to others who have seen the light at the end of the tunnel,
i think my wife would not mind sharing with her her experience making it thru the shver tekufa and different things that gave her chizuk to manage with all of the understandable angers,fears, worries etc (if its nogeya send me a PM)

And Mr fresh start, if Mrs kilo is half the woman as reb kilo is (not discussing weight here), that is an invitation that should not be refused!

many times more

thanks for the help kilochalu!

thats for your wife,
what's with you?

I second that Gibbor. How are you doing? I miss our conversations.

im b"h doing well! staying really strong and bli ayin hara have had no thoughts to return to my previous life.

we are currently in therapy with a specialist psychologist focusing on me and pinpointing my triggers and vulnerabilities.
we've had only 2 sessions, i started last week. so far so good.
we go together as a couple but try to keep the focus and me and my personality make up...

i feel like i have a good frame work to get started and turning myself around as a person, husband, father and oveid hashem.

Thank you to all out there for the help and chizuk.

gmar chasima tova

wish you much hatzlacha

if you ever need the oilam you know where to come

or if you want to be mechazek others with anything you have learned you are always welcome