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My path to sanity... chevrah, help me with the way
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TOPIC: My path to sanity... chevrah, help me with the way 28706 Views

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 17:06 #258719

  • gibbor120
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WELCOME! I don't have time for a long post. Listen to Cords. He is good. Did you explain why you don't love your parents? Some of this may be related to your upbringing. In any event, one thing is clear. You need help. You have come to the right place. Check out the handbook. Post and read the forum. It can be overwhelming at first, but in time, you will find your way around. You will see what works and what doesn't. I wish you hatzlacha!

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 17:10 #258721

  • ZDuvid
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gibbor120 wrote:
WELCOME! I don't have time for a long post. Listen to Cords. He is good. Did you explain why you don't love your parents? Some of this may be related to your upbringing. In any event, one thing is clear. You need help. You have come to the right place. Check out the handbook. Post and read the forum. It can be overwhelming at first, but in time, you will find your way around. You will see what works and what doesn't. I wish you hatzlacha!

My father didn't have communication skills. He was brought up with parents of the holocaust survivors and there was no feelings aloud...

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 18:39 #258725

  • gibbor120
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You may want to address those issues with a therapist. They likely have something to do with your issues today.

I highly recommend Dr Sorotzkin on this. I have a link to his site in my signature. Look for "psycological factors of acting out". He has other good stuff too.
Last Edit: 05 Jul 2015 18:39 by gibbor120.

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 19:01 #258727

  • ZDuvid
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gibbor120 wrote:
You may want to address those issues with a therapist. They likely have something to do with your issues today.

I highly recommend Dr Sorotzkin on this. I have a link to his site in my signature. Look for "psycological factors of acting out". He has other good stuff too.

I know all the tricks they give when it comes to communication. I went already for marriage communication and I know where I'm lacking and what I need to work on.
But now I need some tools to put all Mishegasin in the garbage

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 06 Jul 2015 20:13 #258807

  • ZDuvid
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Just instulled a Venishmartem filter on my phone! The tech was hooked up via internet to my phone for a hour and instulled it.
I definitely slows down the internet but it pays.
But למעשה how will I be battaling the source problem, "lust"?!?!

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 06 Jul 2015 20:42 #258809

  • ZDuvid
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9494 wrote:
Zduvid
But למעשה how will I be battaling the source problem, "lust"?!?!


Have you tried yet going to the beis and shteiging every time lust strikes?

And from the big Kol Torah you woke up from your dream lol
Is that the solution?
Last Edit: 06 Jul 2015 20:44 by ZDuvid.

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 06 Jul 2015 21:02 #258813

  • ZDuvid
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9494 wrote:
ok...have you tried calling or messaging someone every time the lust visits?

That's not what I want to do. I want to go to the source of it and battle it from within... Calling someone is just a bandaid. I want surgery

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 06 Jul 2015 21:09 #258814

  • gibbor120
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Have you read the handbook? Have you determined that you need surgery? Have you looked into 12 step phone conferences? What have you done so far?

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 06 Jul 2015 21:13 #258815

  • ZDuvid
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gibbor120 wrote:
Have you read the handbook? Have you determined that you need surgery? Have you looked into 12 step phone conferences? What have you done so far?

I ordered the handbook its on its way.
I put on a fillter.
I am on this site.
I open my thread.
I am on the 90 day chart with 4 days clean, a joke.
I don't know what my deeper problem is

Re: My path to sanity... chevrah, help me with the way 06 Jul 2015 21:26 #258819

  • ZDuvid
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9494 wrote:
ZDuvid
That's not what I want to do. I want to go to the source of it and battle it from within... Calling someone is just a bandaid. I want surgery


Going back to your inner child and finding out what the source of it is all nice and good. Maybe you had an experience in your youth, maybe its in your DNA, maybe you were born under some constellation, maybe you had a bad day...wuteva...

But, lemayse, when the lust strikes and its in the veins, you might might not give a damn about where venus and mars were on the day of your inception...and in that case you gonna need some practical "bandaids" to "battle" through it.

So gimme a practical Eitzah

Re: My path to sanity... chevrah, help me with the way 06 Jul 2015 21:33 #258824

  • ZDuvid
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9494 wrote:
Zduvid
So gimme a practical Eitzah


I gave you one.

Maybe specify to the good men of GYE if you are looking for a long or short term eitsa?

Of course a long term Eitza

Re: My path to sanity... chevrah, help me with the way 06 Jul 2015 21:38 #258826

  • cordnoy
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I still say to start off slow and see what works and what doesnt.

additionally, we try to focus on the day in front of us

bhatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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Re: My path to sanity... chevrah, help me with the way 06 Jul 2015 21:52 #258830

  • gevura shebyesod
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9494 wrote:
ZDuvid
That's not what I want to do. I want to go to the source of it and battle it from within... Calling someone is just a bandaid. I want surgery


Going back to your inner child and finding out what the source of it is all nice and good. Maybe you had an experience in your youth, maybe its in your DNA, maybe you were born under some constellation, maybe you had a bad day...wuteva...

But, lemayse, when the lust strikes and its in the veins, you might might not give a damn about where venus and mars were on the day of your inception...and in that case you gonna need some practical "bandaids" to "battle" through it.


9494 wrote:
Maybe specify to the good men of GYE if you are looking for a long or short term eitsa?


The correct answer is "Both".

Yes in the long term we need to figure out the past history, feelings, and moods that trigger us and work on eliminating or coping with them and changing our inner self so that we don't run to our "drug". But at the same time we need Eitzos to help us in the moment when the Mishigas strikes and all logic and thinking flies out the window and we need help NOW.

Welcome ZD, Hatzlacha and KOMT!!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends
Last Edit: 06 Jul 2015 21:53 by gevura shebyesod.

Re: My path to sanity... chevrah, help me with the way 06 Jul 2015 22:29 #258837

  • ZDuvid
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Gevura Shebyesod wrote:
9494 wrote:
ZDuvid
That's not what I want to do. I want to go to the source of it and battle it from within... Calling someone is just a bandaid. I want surgery


Going back to your inner child and finding out what the source of it is all nice and good. Maybe you had an experience in your youth, maybe its in your DNA, maybe you were born under some constellation, maybe you had a bad day...wuteva...

But, lemayse, when the lust strikes and its in the veins, you might might not give a damn about where venus and mars were on the day of your inception...and in that case you gonna need some practical "bandaids" to "battle" through it.


9494 wrote:
Maybe specify to the good men of GYE if you are looking for a long or short term eitsa?


The correct answer is "Both".

Yes in the long term we need to figure out the past history, feelings, and moods that trigger us and work on eliminating or coping with them and changing our inner self so that we don't run to our "drug". But at the same time we need Eitzos to help us in the moment when the Mishigas strikes and all logic and thinking flies out the window and we need help NOW.

Welcome ZD, Hatzlacha and KOMT!!

So what do I do next

Re: My path to sanity... chevrah, help me with the way 06 Jul 2015 23:06 #258840

  • bigmoish
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ZDuvid wrote:

So what do I do next

The beauty of this מחלה, as posted elsewhere a short time ago, is that it gives us a chance to develop a more personal relationship with the Eibishter.
On the flip side, no one can tell you what the best method of recovery is for you. You must discover that on your own. Others can point you to the various tools available, which they already have, but they cannot choose for you. It is a choice you must make. Recovery cannot be spoonfed.
Hatzlocha.
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!
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