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TOPIC: My path to sanity... chevrah, help me with the way 28704 Views

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 04:11 #258667

  • ZDuvid
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yiraishamaim wrote:
That is a nice story. Something to draw on for encouragement and hope.

Thank you very much.
But now I need to cruel out of this deep dark depressing ugly nauseas addictive behaviors!!

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 04:14 #258668

  • cordnoy
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ZDuvid wrote:
I went for therapy two years ago and we both made nice progress. Wasn't really major issues but the minor ones usually get big. We had communication issues and expectations issues. But my wife is very happy to live with me know and she is pregnant with our second!


nice!

Are you happy to live with her?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 04:21 #258669

  • yiraishamaim
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Having a good feeling about yourself must be EARNED. You have already made a good start here. I have no doubt that you know that.

I'm sure you feel it in your kishkus.

Stick around. Learn the right attitudes. Also, how best to protect yourself from sliding downhill.

You will get there.

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 04:26 #258670

  • ZDuvid
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cordnoy wrote:
ZDuvid wrote:
I went for therapy two years ago and we both made nice progress. Wasn't really major issues but the minor ones usually get big. We had communication issues and expectations issues. But my wife is very happy to live with me know and she is pregnant with our second!


nice!

Are you happy to live with her?

Truth is yes, but its not a deep deep emotional marriage. Like I never knew what "to love" meant till I had my daughter. I love her so so much that its almost scary...lol

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 04:38 #258671

  • cordnoy
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ZDuvid wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
ZDuvid wrote:
I went for therapy two years ago and we both made nice progress. Wasn't really major issues but the minor ones usually get big. We had communication issues and expectations issues. But my wife is very happy to live with me know and she is pregnant with our second!


nice!

Are you happy to live with her?

Truth is yes, but its not a deep deep emotional marriage. Like I never knew what "to love" meant till I had my daughter. I love her so so much that its almost scary...lol


I don't think the love for a daughter has shaychus to a love to a wife, but then again, I'm not sure I really love my wife, but that's a different story.

The reason i'm askin' is it sounded like from one of your posts above that you did not have a love for her. do you still go to therapist? Were these other issues discussed then?

bhatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 04:51 #258673

  • ZDuvid
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cordnoy wrote:
ZDuvid wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
ZDuvid wrote:
I went for therapy two years ago and we both made nice progress. Wasn't really major issues but the minor ones usually get big. We had communication issues and expectations issues. But my wife is very happy to live with me know and she is pregnant with our second!


nice!

Are you happy to live with her?

Truth is yes, but its not a deep deep emotional marriage. Like I never knew what "to love" meant till I had my daughter. I love her so so much that its almost scary...lol


I don't think the love for a daughter has shaychus to a love to a wife, but then again, I'm not sure I really love my wife, but that's a different story.

The reason i'm askin' is it sounded like from one of your posts above that you did not have a love for her. do you still go to therapist? Were these other issues discussed then?

bhatzlachah

Why doesn't love for a daughter have Shaiches to a wife?? Deep emotional love is love. So why doesn't it have in common once you speak about love?

And about your other question that it didn't soue like I love my wife, I really have no love for anyone in this world except my daughter! Sounds strange but that's the fact. I'll go into fire for my mother or father but not because I feel a deep love just cause she's my mother.

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 04:58 #258675

  • cordnoy
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ZDuvid wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
ZDuvid wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
ZDuvid wrote:
I went for therapy two years ago and we both made nice progress. Wasn't really major issues but the minor ones usually get big. We had communication issues and expectations issues. But my wife is very happy to live with me know and she is pregnant with our second!


nice!

Are you happy to live with her?

Truth is yes, but its not a deep deep emotional marriage. Like I never knew what "to love" meant till I had my daughter. I love her so so much that its almost scary...lol


I don't think the love for a daughter has shaychus to a love to a wife, but then again, I'm not sure I really love my wife, but that's a different story.

The reason i'm askin' is it sounded like from one of your posts above that you did not have a love for her. do you still go to therapist? Were these other issues discussed then?

bhatzlachah

Why doesn't love for a daughter have Shaiches to a wife?? Deep emotional love is love. So why doesn't it have in common once you speak about love?

And about your other question that it didn't soue like I love my wife, I really have no love for anyone in this world except my daughter! Sounds strange but that's the fact. I'll go into fire for my mother or father but not because I feel a deep love just cause she's my mother.


i don't think it does, but ill leave explainin' to others...if they want.

regardin' your statement that it doesn't seem like you love your wife, imho, you will need to work on your issues and the love simultaneously. actually with the 12 steps, where we work on givin' to others (which you can do w/o the 12 steps as well), you might be able to accomplish both at the same time.

bhatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 08:15 #258679

  • Pidaini
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Welcome ZDuvid to GYE!!

It's never too late to change, and there's never a better time to change than.....NOW!!

Reading the thread up until now, I didn't get much of your history, I did get a person who is very scared, almost hopeless, and has a million questions on his mind!

Guess what, that's quite normal!!

But let's take a step back for a moment. You can be sure that all (at least most) of your questions will be answered with time, but there is no point in trying to do that all on one foot.

Tell us some more about yourself, maybe how your struggle started, what you have tried doing to stop, has it gotten worse with time?

Let's start slowly, baby steps, one thing at a time!!

Keep On Posting!!! KOMT!!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 11:57 #258690

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Pidaini wrote:
Welcome ZDuvid to GYE!!

It's never too late to change, and there's never a better time to change than.....NOW!!

Reading the thread up until now, I didn't get much of your history, I did get a person who is very scared, almost hopeless, and has a million questions on his mind!

Guess what, that's quite normal!!

But let's take a step back for a moment. You can be sure that all (at least most) of your questions will be answered with time, but there is no point in trying to do that all on one foot.

Tell us some more about yourself, maybe how your struggle started, what you have tried doing to stop, has it gotten worse with time?

Let's start slowly, baby steps, one thing at a time!!

Keep On Posting!!! KOMT!!!

It started when I was just 8 years old! I was just shocked when something came out...but it felt good, so I kept on doing it. All time I had no clue what this white thing id all about. But I remember I just did it every single mingle day! With time I felt like thinking of females for some reason helped me out with this pleasure, so I would look on the street for women and compare them, and all this was even before my bar mitzvah when I was clueless.
Last Edit: 07 Jul 2015 16:48 by ZDuvid.

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 13:57 #258694

  • serenity
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I can relate to a lot of your story. You may be surprised to learn how many of us have thrown our phones into the water.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 14:11 #258695

  • dd
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Welcome ZDuvid!!!

Great to have you here for us and for you. Make yourself at home and makes yourself comfortable. The guys are amazing and there is tons to learn. It might take some time but thats ok we don't have to figure everything out right away.

Wishing you loads of Hatzlachah!!!

Keep on posting.

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 14:57 #258704

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serenity wrote:
I can relate to a lot of your story. You may be surprised to learn how many of us have thrown our phones into the water.

And????

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 15:10 #258707

  • cordnoy
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ZDuvid wrote:
serenity wrote:
I can relate to a lot of your story. You may be surprised to learn how many of us have thrown our phones into the water.

And????


simple; he used....
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 15:24 #258709

  • ZDuvid
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cordnoy wrote:
ZDuvid wrote:
serenity wrote:
I can relate to a lot of your story. You may be surprised to learn how many of us have thrown our phones into the water.

And????


simple; he used....
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Don't get it.
He meant it was a waste of time throwing it away?

Re: I'm new to GYE and I'm old in... 05 Jul 2015 15:57 #258712

  • lomed
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Welcome ZDuvid,

Good for you that you came here. We are all in the same boat. We all get help from each other and move forward towards recovery. Just keep it here and posting, and with hashem's help, one of us will have some advice and support that can help you out of this shmutz.

Hatzlacha
I currently attend live SA meetings. Feel free to reach out to me.
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