I'm having a tough time, not necessarily in stopping myself from giving into my taava for lust, but in recognizing it as an addiction. In reading the forum posts and articles, I've realized that my story isn't one of those where I can't stop looking at inappropriate internet material or acting out on it physically with myself (the big M word), but that I've stumbled every once in a while and that I very often feel bombard with taavas for lust just from walking down the street.
Is this addiction or is this just normal desire? I mean, doesn't every guy feel this way? Unless they are attracted to other men, but even then, their taava is replaced with a different gender. Don't all men have a drive for sex and sexual material? How is this an addiction? My brother is in AA and in coming with him to meetings over the years, I've heard some messed up stuff. People ruining their lives and their family's lives through alcohol or drug use, but then there are those that can just have a beer and they're ok, they're not bouncing off the walls. Carrying that analogy over to lust, how do I know that I'm an addict as opposed to a casual user with a strong desire? Please help, I've been really struggling with this question ever since I joined GYE a few days ago....

Welcome...that's one heck of a long struggle.
why should you recognize it as an addiction?
yes; men have tayvos.
nobody forced you here.
perhaps you're a regular guy with tayvos.
Learn more mussar.
Daven better.
Watch your eyes.

b'hatzlachah

I think the question is not whether it is defined as an "addiction" or not, but rather whether you are ready, willing and open to taking steps to beat it. I can relate to struggling with the term, and relate to struggling with some of the steps. It took me months to post on this website and I've still shied away from certain steps, working on beating this without them... If I can that would be great, and if I cannot, I pray that I have the courage to take the necessary steps.

Welcome to GYE and thanks for sharing! One of the advantages of GYE is that it takes you through progressive tools to aid in your struggle. You can start going through the tools and stop when you are satisfied. The link to the tools and suggestions for the New Comer can be found in my signature below. Btw, remember when you ask for advice here, you may be getting advice from a person who has not been able to maintain sobriety and may be just as sick, if nit sicker than you. So easy does it, read the articles written by the endorsed people here, use the tools and maybe check out a phone conference, And Ditto to what Cordnoy wrote.

Hatzlacha!

serenity wrote:


Hey!?

Corrected

hi ...once i also grappled with this question ....and i realize that lust addiction can be objective or subjective depending on how it effects you in life and your current short and long term goals .....

If you have a certain goal as far as lust and cannot just get there ....that might indicate addiction ....alot of guys on here are sober for years and sober for them means complete abstinence from p***, m********* and even being careful what they look at in the street and some of them are not married .....i know it might seem like a super high bar to even reach for .....or it might even seem unnatural but i feel that actually being in control by not giving in to what some call "natural" is what gives one real power over themselves .....

I think you got a very clear answer!!

There is no need for you to label yourself, the ikkur is to do something and if it doesn't work...try something else!!

The GYE handbook is a great place for where you are standing.

Hatzlacha Rabbah in whatever you end up doing!!

WELCOME! You got some good answers already. Sharing with the chevra here can be a big help.