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Free Choice?!!
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TOPIC: Free Choice?!! 32838 Views

Re: Free Choice?!! 05 Jun 2015 03:55 #256119

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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skeptical wrote:
Guard Your Ears!


You seem skeptical of our musical talent
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends
Last Edit: 05 Jun 2015 03:55 by Gevura Shebyesod.

Re: Free Choice?!! 07 Jun 2015 15:06 #256260

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Gevura Shebyesod
Nice! I've been wanting to do that too. Maybe we can make a band

I can play the accupello (however you spell it).
Maybe we can get Zemmy to sing Zemiros.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 07 Jun 2015 15:08 by stillgoing.

Re:i flubbed my Free Choice. 07 Jun 2015 15:07 #256262

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hwhap@gmx.com
Why are you angry? Are you thinking that something or someone should be different than what they are?

Isn't that why people get angry?
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re:i flubbed my Free Choice. 07 Jun 2015 16:48 #256275

stillgoing wrote:
hwhap@gmx.com
Why are you angry? Are you thinking that something or someone should be different than what they are?

Isn't that why people get angry?


I think so. I was trying to understand specifically what it was.

Re: Free Choice?!! 08 Jun 2015 20:41 #256376

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So last week (like I posted on another thread) I found myself in front of an unfiltered computer. I posted calling for help b/c I "knew" that I would fall for this new trick. Lots of people gave good ideas but I was either too weak/lazy or deep deep down wanted the computer unfiltered, so I did nothing.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 22 Dec 2016 17:17 by stillgoing.

Re: Free Choice?!! 08 Jun 2015 20:42 #256377

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Gibbor120

the "main" bechira we have is to avoid triggering situations in the first place.

serenity

We have a choice not to walk down that road, that is why we are responsible even when we don't have bechirah. Choose the road of happy destiny chaver.

thebigX90

we have bechira before we started looking @ inappropriate material. However, once wev'e already started, the yetzer hara gets us to think that all is lost & we are hopeless


Today, I drove past the building when I had no need to. I pulled into the parking lot (while my mind was saying "KEEP DRIVING!!") The building was empty (sunday). Then I told my annoying conscience "do me a favor, go wait outside for me, ok?" It mostly listened. Getting the computer set up was quick. I got a "PM from Hashem" when I found the computer to be password protected. I almost felt like logging on here to ask guys how to get around it.(HA) I managed to figure it out anyway. I've been clean for 40+ days B"H, Almost my longest streak since I was A little kid. My heard was beating faster. A few clicks later and......... Hashem said "Test Over". Like by akaidas Yitzchak,, at the last second, Hashem stopped Avrohom, He stopped me, and took away the nesoyon because the computer already had a filter installed.!! (one of) The only difference is, that Avrohom passed the test, while I feel that I failed it! Like it's quoted above, if the real bechira is before it is staring us in the face, then my bechira was to never have come to this building to begin with. I feel that I failed when I had a choice, and Hashem, in His infinite love saved me when I no longer had a choice. Like a little kid who runs into the street, and his parent grabbes him out before a car comes, the kid should still be punished.
No?
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 22 Dec 2016 17:20 by stillgoing.

Re: Free Choice?!! 08 Jun 2015 21:06 #256380

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Tests have different levels. Success is not measured by all or nothing. Of course, had you not gone in the first place it would have been better but you had a choice to go somewhere else to find P____ once the "building" idea did not pan out.

Let me ask you wasn't there a time you would have gone to another place?

YOU DID NOT.-should I say it again -YOU DID NOT

you're still a winner. You still have an impressive streak of over 40 days.

Keep smiling and keep truckin' - Keep adding another day to your streak - one day at a time
Last Edit: 08 Jun 2015 21:15 by yiraishamaim.

Re: Free Choice?!! 08 Jun 2015 21:37 #256384

I look at it this way: a fence may be indispensable, but it cuts both ways in a sense. You designed your new life around filters. You depend on them now. So without a filter you should expect to choose porn. But the reason it's a sound fence is that filters are readily available. Maybe you can take some action so that this cannot easily happen again. You know what's feasible in your case.
Last Edit: 09 Jun 2015 01:30 by hwhap@gmx.com.

Re: Free Choice?!! 08 Jun 2015 23:44 #256393

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I agree with what both hwhap & yiraishamayim said, that a)you did have a slight fall. b) try to find a way where the filters aren't the only level of protection. On the other hand, I don't think you should be too harsh on yourself (I'm talking to myself @ the same time since I find myself many times being too harsh on myself). In addition be thankful that Hashem's there with you & He didn't let you fall. In general the way I try to look at these situations(not just in lust addiction), is, no harm no foul.acknowledge that you came close to a fall(which is normal) see how you can fix it or try to avoid it by building bigger fences & move on. Finally, If I were you I'd almost be thrilled that Hashem didn't let me fall since it shows me that He's still there & He still cares about me.

Re: Free Choice?!! 21 Jun 2015 20:01 #257312

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hwhap
I look at it this way: a fence may be indispensable, but it cuts both ways in a sense. You designed your new life around filters. You depend on them now. So without a filter you should expect to choose porn. But the reason it's a sound fence is that filters are readily available. Maybe you can take some action so that this cannot easily happen again. You know what's feasible in your case.

With all do respect, I beg to differ. First of all what do you mean by "designed your new life around filters"? Filters are crucial, but they are not and should not be the only method of stopping. In fact they aren't even a method. They are only the Band-AidTM on the wound to get it to stop bleeding so that it can then begin to heal.
#2 is when a person sets up filters, and the filter fails (as they can) I do not believe that one should "expect to choose porn". Expect to have a tug-of-war yes, but hopefully win and not choose p___.
Anyway It is very possible that I have misunderstood you, and you meant that all along.
stillfriends?
stillgoing
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Free Choice?!! 06 Jul 2015 16:08 #258785

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Hello.
I absolutely love this post. to see it in context click here
inastruggle
While a filter is obviously not foolproof, it is a wise idea even for techies who can get around it. It still makes it more difficult and puts at least a "heker" between us and porn.

I am considering removing the railing by my staircase. It should be my responsibility not to walk too close to the edge of the stairs, and I can always jump over the railing anyways if I really want to. Just sayin .


There seems to be a certain mindset that says, Why do I need a filter? If I really wanted to control myself I will.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Free Choice?!! 06 Jul 2015 16:33 #258790

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stillgoing - right on the money!

just my $.02

Re: Free Choice?!! 28 Jul 2015 21:57 #260471

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yiraishamaim

right on the money!

just my $.02

your two $.02 are worth more then a lot of peoples $2 million. (For everyone else, you too, so don't feel bad.)
The name of this thread is called, Free Choice, since that is what the whole struggle is all about. The ability to choose. Sounds so simple to me when I'm discussing it. But somehow when I'm faced with the choice, I say, "ok, free choice to choose the good will wait till next time, not I have free choice to do wrong" I should really post this on Big Shot, because that line that I tell myself is such a stuck-up conceded line. Who says that there will be a next time. At some point the game's over. And when that scary thing happens, and we swear that this is it, I'll never do *** again, (like I said on a bouncing flight years ago). Somehow not long later we're back at it. Wake up's are a nice reset button, but if we let our lives continue the same we will end up right back where we were.
If I may take a page out of Serenity's book (not literally), this is part of a personal story written in the white book (p. 16-17) [Note: The "I" in the story is not me SG] He is talking about how things got so bad in his quest for lust that he just "knew" that he would need to stop. Somehow, it didn't happen....
WB

"Once I was arrested by vice officers and hauled out onto the sidewalk for the whole world to gape at. I wished I could have disappeared! While they were frisking me, spread-eagled against the graffiti blackened brick wall, I was saying to myself, Thank God! This is what I needed to make me stop. Never again! But it wasn't five minutes after my release that I was back out there looking for the same woman. Any woman!
Another time I was driving on the freeway. The compulsion had struck, I had quickly cashed a check and was racing out to the red-light district, when I saw a man lose
control of his car and spin off into the center divider, slamming into it just as I whizzed by inches away. His car struck the divider from the rear, and I saw his head jerk over the back of his seat and snap completely back in a grotesque U-shape, obviously breaking his neck. I pulled off the next ramp, shaken, acknowledging the incident as a warning from heaven. Thank God! I thought, That's what I needed to make me stop. Never again! Less than a minute later, however, I found my car getting back onto the freeway, heading for its original scarlet assignation.

Wake up calls only help if we don't go back to sleep afterwards...
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 22 Dec 2016 17:23 by stillgoing.

Re: Free Choice?!! 29 Jul 2015 00:25 #260474

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[quote="stillgoing" post=260471]yiraishamaim
right on the money!


Wake up calls only help if we don't go back to sleep afterwards...


So, should we have a 2:00 call as well?
Howbout 3:00?
4:00 anybody?

Please don't publicize this, for then, Serenity will never be home.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Free Choice?!! 29 Jul 2015 01:40 #260477

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I read that you were talking something from Serenity and then I started reading the quote, and I was mystified, because I didn't remember sharing that here! Then I realized it wasn't me. LOL.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.
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