DEGI, you said quite a bit. Thank you for a beautiful share. Honesty, is so important to recovery. The details of our stories vary, but we are all in the same boat, and have similar experiences and feelings. Many of us are looke up to in various ways. We do things that we know we shouldn't and then feel guilty afterwards, then we do it again, and can't see a way out. I don't think becoming "more productive" will solve your problem. (many people think their problem is laziness. I don't think that is usually the case.)

What are your triggers? I don't mean the physical ones. What emotions cause you to act out? Boredom, lonliness, depression, stress... Very often, it is the emotional triggers that are the real problem. Learning to live with different attitudes can help a great deal.

Obviously, we must also avoid physical triggers and make proper gedarim, but if we have a strong enough emotional need, we will find a way to act out.

Have you read the handbook? Stick around. I learned a lot here, and made some great friends. I wish the same for you.

Welcome

Qustodio has a nice filter.
Skep does a fine job monitorin'.

Haven't noticed anythin' you do to help with recovery.
What have you been tryin'?
Please tell.

b'hatzlachah

thank you. I will check out those filters.
regarding recovery: I receive and read the chizuk emails. I have tried the taphsic method, to which I have failed repetitively. I started the 90 day challenge a couple of times, to which again I have failed.
maybe I just need to try harder, stay more committed to these tools...

I cant seem to find "skep"...
where can I access it?
thank you

"Skeptical" is a highly regarded user on this site. His profile can be viewed here. guardyoureyes.com/forum/profile/userid-2856

baruch hashem was clean for 1 full day!
looking forward to fighting and not giving in today.
its amazing how clean and clear you feel after not looking or acting out for a period of time.(this is just one day...imagine a longer period of time.) the sensual feeling that comes by acting out is just not real, its not true. staying clean is a true clarity of mind.

dontevergivein@gmail.com wrote:
or maybe try more powerful tools. What tools are you tempted to use, but afraid to try? Have you considered joining a phone conference?

have never tried the phone conference..
something to maybe try, I guess.
today is day 2 of the 90 day chart. b"h hanging in there. the urge is had as hell but I feel like the 1st time that I am actually fighting strong. hopefully I will be able to keep it up.

day 3 here I come.
iyh will keep up the fight as I did in the past 2 days.
didn't hear from people in a long time..

keep the fight
but you need to broaden your arsenal
you need to disarm your enemy
you need to avoid facing the enemy at any price

Did you try the phone conferences?

I did listen in to one, to see exactly what it was...
it brought up some interesting and valuable points.

entering day 4 clean b"H...looking forward to stay that way today.

its interesting...I don't like viewing porn in particular. I think its disgusting what I see there. of course I have stumbled on it in the past, but I hate it, and don't have a particular interest in it...
the main urge is just to look at a pretty woman and act out accordingly.
any insight on that?

I don't see a difference.
The idea is the same - pics, video, phone s____, Skype etc.
I know I have tried to fool myself in the past with this issue, trying to find discrepancies between different forms. Like "If I only look at pics of actual beauty perhaps then I am a sort of high class looker" ridiculous of course on so many levels.
We dine according to taste,alcohol, drugs etc.
But acting out with lust is all the same no matter what exactly is doing it for you.

Thoughts anyone?

Agree