Hi Everyone,

I am a 21 yr old struggling SSA addict and came to this site to get this addiction out of my life. Basically. I have been made fun of being gay all my life which in turned fueled my addiction. I have found this site to have support and where real friendships can be made!


Thanks!

Welcome!! I've been struggling with SSA too, for a lot longer than you. And I came here a couple of years ago and found a place where I could share my secret with the greatest bunch of caring and accepting people.

I've learned that when it all boils down, it's just another form of lust, and can be worked on with the same tools. And more importantly, I'm learning to accept myself, struggle and all. Admittedly it's harder in certain ways, but with the help of Hashem and the support of my friends here, I'm managing, even though i still have ups and downs.

So stick around, learn, share, (and have some fun too )

Could not have said it better.
It's all the same...basically.
We need to work on the root of our lustful mind.

b'hatzlachah

Welcome to the forum! Glad you're here. My sponsor is SSA and he's married to a woman. He's not religious, but has chosen to maintain a heterosexual life with his wife (instead of divorce...). He's sober 5 plus years, so it's definitely possible. He'd probably say something like, he still finds men attractive and desires them, but he doesn't have to let those desires control and direct his life. I gain a lot from having a SSA sponsor, because it really helps me see the difference between having a lust driven relationship and a meaningful loving relationship. Perhaps he would even say that he chose a heterosexual life because he doubted his ability to live a sober life as a gay man. Maybe the lines would be too hard for him not to cross. The White Book does talk about how single men need not think they have a disadvantage over married men who have an outlet. Often the physical relationship with a wife can make recovery even harder. I know it has for me at times. I'm kind of an all or nothing guy. My sponsor refrained from sex of any kind, even with his wife, for a year and half.

Anyway, wishing you much Hatzlacha!

Welcome, brother. Yeah, I agree with what everyone else said. You're in the right place, and should be proud of yourself for taking this step. Come here whenever you need help, and learn as much as you can. The more information you have, the less power -- in some ways -- that your urges will have. You'll always, technically, be an addict, but you'll be shining a light on aspect of your brain that thrives in darkness and seclusion.

One day at a time!

WELCOME! MAZAL TOV on sharing and opening up. Keep on posting. We are here for you.

Thanks Everyone!

Do you guys think being gay has its benefits or its just another way of landing yourself in trouble?

Having SSA is not the same thing as being gay!! Having relations and acting out with other men is assur, so there are no benefits to it. Regarding SSA, it could be that a positive side is that we tend to be more emotional and empathetic to others.

interesting. As over the years I have done research on homosexuals in Halacha and I came to the conclusion that certain Gay activities are allowed by Jewish Law

not that it makes much of a difference for a lust addict (if you are I don't know), but what are these permitted activities?

I may be wrong, but my research have shown that the permitted activities any normal sex activity you would do with a woman except for _____________. (fill in the blank). Again I may be wrong.

There is only a chiyuv skila for _____ but everything else is still assur just as it would be with a woman who is not your wife.

In fact I would say that even activities that would be mutter for straight people might be assur for us, for instance hugging a guy if it triggers us.

too much halachah for me....i need to worry about lust....what are you concerned with?

You have a point that we need to worry about lust and not about Jewish Law alone.

Yes, i do worry about lust from time to time. But for some reason SSA always made me feel happy and felt like I belonged.

However, We just gotta know what we are doing, in the right way of doing what we loved without infringing on Halacha and social consequences.

sounds like a plan.