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Trying to take back control....
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TOPIC: Trying to take back control.... 460 Views

Trying to take back control.... 02 Jan 2015 05:14 #246442

  • Enuffzynuff
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...because I recognized I'd lost it, big time. Felt I'd lost even the desire to want to try to reclaim control, which is a terrible feeling. Realized how badly I was hurting myself and my family, so here I am. Although I've known I'm not alone in this struggle even in the frum community, there's chizuk in just seeing so many others here. Glad to be aboard.

Re: Trying to take back control.... 02 Jan 2015 06:15 #246443

Welcome aboard. You will find friends here; people who are pulling for you and will do their best to offer their support and advise (some of which might even be good advise . I mean that in the nicest possible way as you can look forward to many people sharing their feelings and ideas with you, but on some level you will have to consider for yourself what works for you and what does not.)

One thing that caught me from your post, you said that part of the reason you came here is:
"Felt I'd lost even the desire to want to try to reclaim control, which is a terrible feeling."

To me there's a paradox here, though it's one that I totally relate to and that is the fact that while you are saying that you lost the desire to reclaim control, and you probably are feeling that way on an emotional level, something deeper is pushing you. Something that compelled you to join here at the time when you felt like you were feeling less interest in making a change.

I know the feeling, even though it's an idea I can't really wrap my mind around (other than to believe that we have conscious emotions that we feel, and maybe a deeper level of commitment or emotion that is there but we don't always feel...)

Who knows, I'm rambling, but welcome aboard.

Re: Trying to take back control.... 02 Jan 2015 06:15 #246444

  • shomer bro
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Welcome! Reaching out is so vital in our recovery, so keep on posting!

Re: Trying to take back control.... 02 Jan 2015 07:15 #246458

  • cordnoy
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Welcome,

You are among friends.
Recovery ain't easy, but it sure as hell is worth it.

Lookin' forward to hear more from you.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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Re: Trying to take back control.... 02 Jan 2015 08:10 #246462

  • serenity
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Welcome! I'm glad you're here and hope to hear more from you. I like your post. Funny how it works that when we give up control we get into recovery.

Hatzlacha!
Much Hatzlacha!

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--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Trying to take back control.... 02 Jan 2015 21:21 #246496

  • dms1234
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WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check out the GYE Handbook and Skep's tips
I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com

My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor. 

Re: Trying to take back control.... 03 Jan 2015 00:28 #246510

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Yes, I guess it is paradoxical, but it was that REALLY yucky feeling of not even caring enough to want to try that made me say, wait, what the heck's going on here? Look at what I'm doing to myself and my family. Am I just going to to bow to what I FEEL, or am I going to go after what I WANT.

Thanks for writing, and Good Shabbas.
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