So I'm sure you heard about the mikvah in Washington DC, that there were hidden cameras installed to spy on the women.

In my Hey day as a full blown sex addict, without a doubt I would have done the same thing. So armed with this knowledge that any addict with an extra hundred dollars would probably do the same as me, I made a bit of a stink to have our local mikvah get inspected.

While some people thought I was making an issue out of nothing, I knew how easy and tempting it is to do the same.

That being said, am I alone in this, or would you have done the same thing given the opportunity to install a hidden camera in a mikvah etc? BH I never did.

or in the shower in my house.
or in the shul bathroom.
or the neighbor's bedroom window.

As this is a catchy title of a new thread, many will come here.
Please take a moment to recite a short prayer for one of our own who is goin' thru a tough day with his wife, as she found out some of his double life.
This is particularly a 'hit home' for me, for I could be one day/any day in the same position.
Yes, there are many that say that this can be and was a turnin' point in their recovery, but that doesn't stop the pain and sufferin' they are goin' thru at this present time.

Thank you

It's difficult to quantify just how great a Chillul Hashem was caused by that disgraced "rabbi."

Although addiction is never an excuse for acting out in any way, it is absolutely no defense when innocent victims are involved.

I agree that what he did was absolutely wrong but I do feel for the guy since I was no better than him not so long ago. Now, maybe, I'm marginally better in that with the help of GYE, I've started to get a handle on myself.

I didn't bring up this topic to bash him etc, rather just to see what the opinion of my fellow addicts was in regards to pushing to have our local mikvah inspected.

When I asked my Rav a month ago or so about the maaseh, he said "I'm not surprised, that's what the yetzer hara can do to a person." . So while some people thought I was nuts, my Rav, who knows some of my issues, agreed it was a prudent step to take.

While I had to feign horror and disgust with my wife when she found out about it, truthfully, it could have and would have been me given the opportunity.

It is important to point out that while many of us are addicted and we can see ourselves, given the opportunity, doin' the same thing, someone told me recently that many of us or some of us - knowin' our addiction, would not have placed ourselves in such a position to begin with....I know - not all of us had such opportunities, or even the choice one way or the other, but like Kedusha says: when innocent people get hurt (in a direct type of way; to the exclusion of our wives, family, friends, etc), it is a travesty and somethin' that is beyond the line (this includes abuse, seminaries, peepin' toms, etc.).

May God save us from ourselves!

Wow that's horrible

Then again it's defacing the essence of the Jewish home and yes I would suggest if I had the ability that the local mikvas get checked if they haven't already

My wife knew about my addiction before we got married, B"H. She may not have understood that it was a disease, but at least she knew it was a problem. When my "double life" reared its ugly there was no surprise. Oy R"L the pain and suffering I put her through over the years. The constant worry and concern that she suffered with all those years in addition to the pain when the double life would rear its ugly self.

Could I have done this? I don't know. I am certainly capable, but that's the reason I didn't pursue a religious career. Anyway just speaking for myself, not speaking as to this Rabbi. He had his demons and he will have to face them. There but for the chesed of Hashem, go I.

My prayer for the husband that is struggling with his wife finding out about his hidden life, is that he should find in her the same love, understanding and acceptance that I found in my wife. That Hashem should give his wife the strength and wisdom to understand that her husband suffers from a disease and that his behavior is a result of that disease. That the husband should now once and for all take whatever measures that are available to treat his sickness and may he find serenity and freedom.

wow wow wow for this form, it gave me a real shake-up
Nebech on him, i cried for him
like the chevra here said and lets think really deep
am i better?
don't i do it while walking on the street without a camera? and without a shower?
lets ask ourselves honestly, and lets be real Emesdig, if that Yid would send us a link to that Cameras, would we look at them or not?
yes or no?
nebech maybe 1st just a face pics and then so and so and so
so are we better?

When I go to the mikva and I feast my eyes on innocent boys (may Hashem protect us), it may not be in the headlines, but I should nevertheless be ashamed of myself for invading their privacy in such a heinous manner, and for desecrating a place of tahara to satisfy my lust.

MT

Gam ani mitztareif LehaNal

I once heard about a Rav that used to teach hilchos yichud to seminary girls. He was known to be a big machmir in hilchos yichud.
After he was caught being nichshal with not just hilchos yichud, people looked at him as a hypocrite.
Someone told me that at the time a certain adam gadol was quoted as saying that he wasn't a hypocrite. He knew from his own yetzer how strong the yetzer of arayos is and therefore understood the need to be machmir. At the same time he was nichshal because of that same yetzer hara.

That being said, I also have been thinking about these cases as they pop up. Yes on the one hand i can understand how the addiction can bring someone to such places. but on the other hand, as pointed out when it comes to others there is no excuse. (I myself know of some victims of abuse that have not been able to put their lives back together, ever again.)

I myself was very shaken up by this concept after becoming aware of a situation where someone who was once (and perhaps still) a choshuve talmid chochom, lost everything in his life, his family his kids and his freedom when things came to light. The fear of where things could lead really was sitting on my head. After starting to cross previously red lines, i ended up soon afterwards on gye. I don't want to imagine where things could have ended up for me had i not found gye at the right time.

Oh yea! I can see myself doing this, in fact i remember watching a movie a long time ago of someone doing this and i remember saying that would be so awesome!

Cordnoy, of course addiction is no excuse when there are victims but why is that any different from when one of our family members get hurt by our addiction even if we dont put a camera in the mikvah! Addiction is never an excuse. We can never say: "My lust made me do it."

Definitely a BIG Wake up call though and thanks MT, i agree but for me in the streets!

I wrote that one is direct and one indirect.
One is usin' others as your object of lust; the other is the fallout from your lustful behavior.

That bein' said...ultimately, we are responsible anyway.