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It's a new year, and it is time I started posting
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TOPIC: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 28602 Views

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 03 May 2015 14:13 #253736

  • stillgoing
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skeptical
A couple of things that I've found helpful are:

1) Being happy, finding things to be happy about

2) Staying connected even during tough times


Ty skeptical. I have really found #2 to be very helpful to me. Because even though I seem to have become addicted to GYE, since it is always on my mind, whenever I begin to start slipping, all of the guys here on the GYE forum pop into my mind, and I say "Gee, If so many guys are working so hard on this, can't I hold back this time." Since I'm (in skeptical words) "Staying connected even during tough times", it always stays in my mind.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 03 May 2015 14:19 by stillgoing.

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 04 May 2015 03:41 #253798

stillgoing wrote:
skeptical
A couple of things that I've found helpful are:

1) Being happy, finding things to be happy about

2) Staying connected even during tough times


Ty skeptical. I have really found #2 to be very helpful to me. Because even though I seem to have become addicted to GYE, since it is always on my mind, whenever I begin to start slipping, all of the guys here on the GYE forum pop into my mind, and I say "Gee, If so many guys are working so hard on this, can't I hold back this time." Since I'm (in skeptical words) "Staying connected even during tough times", it always stays in my mind.


Both are important reminders. The first one particularly resonates with me, and is something I have been trying to work on actively. For much of my life I was resigned to being unhappy, feeling like there was nothing I could do. For me it was not so much the mental encouragement that I needed (I had read tons on reframing and on focusing on positives etc. and all it did for me was make me feel worse.) Recently I have been much more actively trying to find things to do that I enjoy, spend time with people whose company I enjoy etc. and it has definitely helped.

The second point is also key. I know when I am engaged with this with all the wonderful people here; when I know I am fighting a personal battle, but do so amongst an army of fighters, there is great Chizuk.

Thanks guys for the posts. I am definitely going to try to keep both points in mind.

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 05 May 2015 02:47 #253887

I heard a line from in a Shiur that was a powerful idea. I think it was from Rav Yeruchem, who said that the biggest Yetzer Hora is for a person to not think of themselves as important.

When a person thinks of themselves as significant, special and important,it gives them energy to do the things they have to do, and when they have to avoid things, they carry themselves with the mentality that "this is below me."

I swung by the mall today to pick up some things and the mall is obviously designed to catch your attention (as is the way that most people dress nowadays outside the Frum community.)

Walking around with that idea, that I'm too important to let these things ensnare me made the whole experience pretty much a breeze not to fall.

I know that I won't always find it so easy, but it was a really empowering experience B"H.

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 26 May 2015 23:42 #255453

Going to post because I know it is good for me.

B"H Yom Tov, which is often a time of struggle, went by smoothly. Working on doing things I enjoy, avoiding stress, and (trying) to get enough sleep. Overall feeling better than I have in a really long time (ever?) and hope and pray that that is part of the healing process.

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 05 Jun 2015 03:27 #256113

Feel like I'm talking to myself a bit but I'm ok with that as it means I should listen. Otherwise no one is listening and I wouldn't want that lol.

Been focusing on improving overall perspective and trying to find ways to enjoy myself, relax etc. Can't say some moments are not a struggle but B"H I think/hope/pray that I am moving forward a bit.

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 07 Jun 2015 16:28 #256272

  • stillgoing
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I would tell you that many people are reading your thread, but then you might think that you don't need to listen yourself.
KOT
KIT (more often?)
SG
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 09 Jun 2015 22:51 #256510

stillgoing wrote:
I would tell you that many people are reading your thread, but then you might think that you don't need to listen yourself.
KOT
KIT (more often?)
SG




I'm noticing there's abbreviations I still don't know. KIT? SG? Is that still going?

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 10 Jun 2015 21:07 #256575

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Keep In Touch

Still Going

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 12 Jun 2015 22:17 #256759

gibbor120 wrote:
Keep In Touch

Still Going


Thanks

B"H I am still going. Some days are easier than others, and I've met failure many times, but still truckin' as some people here like to say.

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 14 Jun 2015 20:58 #256830

  • cordnoy
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Hatzileini Na wrote:
gibbor120 wrote:
Keep In Touch

Still Going


Thanks

B"H I am still going. Some days are easier than others, and I've met failure many times, but still truckin' as some people here like to say.


Who might that be?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 16 Jun 2015 08:38 #256964

cordnoy wrote:
Hatzileini Na wrote:
gibbor120 wrote:
Keep In Touch

Still Going


Thanks

B"H I am still going. Some days are easier than others, and I've met failure many times, but still truckin' as some people here like to say.


Who might that be?


Well if no one has told you, I assume you aren't supposed to know

B"H things are going pretty well, though I'm a little concerned since I am really struggling with sleep these day (as evidenced by the fact I am on the computer at 4:35 AM after maybe 2 hours of sleep if that much.) Not sleeping is often a major indirect trigger because it impacts how I feel and pretty much everything else.

Bez"H the recognition of this, will help me be fine. I know it's "just being tired" and I've had that a million times before.

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 16 Jun 2015 11:27 #256967

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We are all here with you chaver.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 19 Jun 2015 09:17 #257193

serenity wrote:
We are all here with you chaver.


Thanks.

(This next part is not particularly directed at you Serenity, but I figured once posting...)
I had a difficult conversation with a young lady tonight (I believe in a previous post I've mentioned being in Shidduchim) and now having a lot of trouble sleeping, both issues that often took aim at my self-image. B"H it feels like with the years of work invested I am slowly, slowly learning to remove my self-image from the "table" to some degree (in that it is not something that is dependent on what others think or things out of my control like sleeping; and that there is inherent self-worth in being a Tzelem Elokim. Hopefully I can hold on to that with both hands.

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 19 Jun 2015 11:56 #257199

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Thanks for sharing what you are experiencing. I think you will find many here can relate to low self-esteem and sleep issues.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: It's a new year, and it is time I started posting 19 Jun 2015 15:30 #257214

  • shlomo613
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Yes, as serenity said, many of us can relate to self esteem issues.
The dating process can be very tough on self esteem - and in my experience, it is easier to have self esteem after marriage.
I look at young people and see how insecure and uncomfortable in their own skins they are.
So hold with. It may help you to know that you will feel good about yourself and more comfortable with who you are with the passage of time.
Of course, sobriety and sanity and doing what you're supposed to, may be one of the biggest facilitators of self esteem.
You should find a zivug hagun beshaa tova umutzlachas.
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