Its my second day feeling irritated, the whole shabbos i was edgy. i cant think of anything bothering me. until thursday i felt really comfortable and honest, i'm not sure what changed.
could it be something like a withdrawal?

could very well be, but the same way it came it can go away, talk to someone about it, talk to Hashem about it, take a deep breath, learn a geshmakke shtikel torah, read a good book, do some excercise and KOT and KOP

hey there tzudreiter!!!

YOUR DOING GREAT!!!

KEEP ON MONSTER TRUCKING!!!!

How do i make sure that i am not just postponing the inevitable? the inner R.I.D. is still present making me need the relief that porn etc. offers. i am afraid that sooner than later i will explode...
Maybe i am just "White-knuckling"?

Dear t,

I truly feel you, I completely relate. The feel of the need is not fake, it is a true pull, and a strong one too. I personally cannot "tackle" it myself, as Dov writes "the mind that is asking for it can't be expected to be the one to reject it" (I changed the words a little, but that's the gist of it).

This is exactly where having understanding friends, whom I am not afraid of calling, comes in. I need to be able to express my feelings to someone outside of myself, once it is out there I can look at it more objectively and it is easier to surrender.

After each conversation with a friend, what usually ends up happening is that I realize that I have a choice, I can either be upset about the situation, whatever it may be, or I can accept it, surrender my expectations or rights, and be at peace with it.

Feel free to PM me if you would like to be in touch, or at least start chatting with any of the safe guys in the chat bar on the bottom, and if you haven't signed up for it yet, go for it!!

It's one day at a time, one decision at a time! Don't take more than you can handle, or rather only take what you need to handle, leave the rest for when the time comes for them!

KOMT bro!!

tzudreiter wrote:


i relate very much to p'daini's approach, and besides that, i think that even if you find yourself white-knuckling, and you really want something more solid, until you find it, commend yourself on whiteknuckling,(because it shows that you really want to stay clean) and if the one day approach doesn't work for you, maybe set yourself a goal of one week.

tzudreiter wrote:

Time will tell, whether you become sure of it or not by that point.
If today you stayed clean, then today it wasn't inevitable. And if that happens, pick yourself up and start again for the next day.
Wondering or worrying won't help. Doing the right things will help

unanumun wrote:


Sounds like someone is joinin' the 'non-thinkin' - take action' club. We welcome you unamunum with open arms!

b'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote:


I guess some things really are inevitable.

I fell...
I feel like crap...
And here i was, thinking that i made the move of my life, opening up to someone, finally moving past the roller-coaster days.
And here i am in "Der erd" again...
Makes me think: will the "porn days" ever be behind me?

We all have setbacks.
some worse than others.
Now, at least, you can discuss the fall openly to another real person.
What was the trigger?
What caused it?
How can it be prevented in the future.

and always remember:

Although it really was a big breakthrough to expose myself. I dont think he is the right guy to discuss in detail about my fall. I think of it more like an acountabilty friend.

I feel like screaming on the top of my lungs out of frustration...

tzudreiter wrote:

My short experience here tells me that the most dangerous times are when we think we are moving "past" the lust. Don't wonder if the "porn days" will ever be behind you. They are most certainly not. Even for a "non-addict" as myself, I realize from seeing how many people can stay clean for extended periods of time, just to end it with a terrible fall, or binge, that the urge for lust will always return. It never goes away - "לפתח חטאת רבץ" - the YH (or whatever it is) is waiting for us to slip so it can jump in to kill us.

However, as discussed elsewhere, don't dwell on this most depressing thought. Focus on staying clean and enjoying life today - that is much easier to concentrate on. Repeat daily.

cordnoy wrote:



hmmm, there is a difference between thinking and worrying. and wondering depends, sometimes it can be wonderful.