Hello everyone, I've been getting GYE emails for a while now but I actually built up the courage to post on the forums. I'd like to share my story. I've been addicted to p*** and msz"l for almost ten years now. From when I was young I was always looking through clothing mags for woman scantily clad. Then I discovered the internet. Many times I've been up hours in the night watching p***. Eventually I tried to stop msz"l in yeshiva but I would only last for maybe a week. The only way I've been able to stop for periods of time is when I was in yeshiva where I had no access to p*** or movies. Thank God I refrained from msz"l in yeshiva. Now I'm about to start shidduchim and terrified about my future. Lately I've fallen a few times.

Wlecome alei-ayin!!!

It's great that you came here, ready to find help!!

What have you done so far? Have you read the Handbook? Filters?

Have you opened up to anyone?

Make yourself at home, we are all in the same boat!!!

KOMT (Keep On Monster Trucking) and KOP (Keep On Posting)!!!!!!!!!

Welcome alei-ayin,
The first bit of good news is that you are not alone. Everyone here has a story and they all have a common thread. So welcome to place where people can understand what you are going through.
The other bit of good news is that the people here, when they dedicate themselves to change and take the proper steps to change, have been able to break free from pornography and masturbation.
So stick around and take a look around, there is much to learn from the wonderful people who haunt this forum.

Welcome welcome welcome dear friend.
One of the most important things you must do in order to keep succeeding in staying clean is to keep concentrating on your victories! You have "refrained from msz"l in yeshiva"? Gevaldig! that's a victory! your a winner! No victory is too small!! It is well known that one of the biggest traps that the Yetser Hora tries to trip the person into is the "that's no big deal" trap. You might think that "Big dealll...sure I resisted in yeshiva - I hardly had any opportunities there!" first of all that's not true - because the yetser hora finds ways to tempt you anywhere, but even if it was so, it's still a victory!! you refrained from MZL when you were in yeshiva! every clean day is a victory!! I heard from a Grandson of the chofetz chaim that the chofetz chaim would keep a book to record good deeds which he had done, and progress he had made in avodas hashem! He did it to give himself chizuk to continue. The great Chofetz Chaim!!! Can you imagine???!!! So like I said concentrate on every victory!
Concerning your fear of your future, because "lately you have fallen a few times", again, If you concentrate on your falls you will despair, and chas vesholom even give up, so just keep thinking of your victories!!
Another point is that even if you chas vesholom fall after being clean for a while, you don't lose that victory! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS YOUR BACK TO ZERO!!!! You always have your previous gains behind you in your renewal to continue working!
remember Your always a winner!! Winner!! Winner!!
Hatzlocho rabbo!and keep shteiging!

Welcome! Its great to have you here.

Check out this forum: guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/219536-Welcome-New-Members%21

On that forum you will find great stuff. I suggest Skep's tips: post #219543.

Welcome AA! You are in the right place. Keep sharing and reaching out for help. There are lots of great tools here, and a great chevra too.

gibbor120 wrote:


That's awesome!!!!

It would be more appropriate if his initials were SA - oh well .

Welcome!! This is a great place for help and support.
Also just speaking out our issues is a big first step in facing the reality of our issues.

alei-ayin wrote:
?

How's it going?

Its going ok. Sometimes I have more control than others. I now have access to a computer. It has some filter but not good enough. Sometimes ill refrain an entire day than act out at the end. other times ill just fall.

Can you download a better filter?

Remember that even the best filter isn't going to solve our problems. How is shmiras eiynaim going on the street?

Stick around, could you share a little bit more about you? We would love to get to know you!

Keep going!!! Good work!

Is there any plan? Are you going to try and do something to stop yourself, or just going to see how it goes?

You're worth the effort, give it your all!!!