please please please please please please listen to the recent video by Rabbi Yehuda Mandel  shlita . wow!

Are you referring to the one called 'Nobody better than me'?
That one is just awesome! A Must see!!
Just did chazara on it. Thanks!

Can you share a link please

Here you go
torahanytime.com/lectures/252959

kadosh1 wrote on 16 May 2024 21:16:

that one was great ,i mean THIS ONE! PLEASE WATCH!
mytat.me/v297468

Thanks kadosh1
I was walking on the street today and was having a hard time keeping my eyes down. The message that R' Mandel said “every time a person controls himself the Neshama of Yosef Hatzadik himself comes into him" hit me, and I started thinking that: 

• None of these people whom I am trying to look at have any interest in me.

• I have a family that is looking out for me and cares about me.

• I have people to talk to, people whom I connect with and who share the same values.

Yosef Hatzadik, when he was being sworn in as the second in command of Mitzrayim, had every reason to lift his eyes up and enjoy the scene. 

• Rashi says on בן פורת יוסף, "The daughters of Egypt would climb the wall to gaze at his beauty. Many daughters climbed—each one to a place from which she would be able to see him."

• He had no family looking out for him. On the contrary, they were about to kill him, and with their last-minute change, they sold him to some Arabs traveling through the desert.

• He had no partner to discuss his struggles with, or even to share how good his day was.

This thought gave me the courage to keep my eyes nailed down to the floor.

ואמונתך בלילות 
Rav Nachum Binder’s vort from the Alexander Rebbe.
If Hashem put us into the dark night, then He must have Emuna in OUR ability to persevere and be victorious. 

Keepin me goin’

ואמונתך בלילות 

Rav Nachum Binder’s vort from the Alexander Rebbe.

If Hashem put us into the dark night, then He must have Emuna in OUR ability to persevere and be victorious. 



Keepin me goin’

Generally speakin', we put ourselves into that dark night. 

cordnoy wrote on 23 May 2024 11:16:

Disagree.
The dark night is the Nisayon that did not exist 2 generations ago. 
I did not choose to be born in a generation of filth.

But welcome back anyways

cordnoy wrote on 23 May 2024 11:16:

Alternatively, he put us in there but does not expect us to pass. 
It's eminently theologically possible for a person to be a faced with sins that it is not within his realm of free will to abstain from. 

So we have three options that (in my unqualified opinion) I think are all hashkafically valid: 1) Hashem put us here and handed us a nisayon to overcome (either on our own or with His help), 2) Hashem put us here on the straight and narrow and we threw ourselves headfirst into a hole, or 3) Hashem put us in a situation we will inevitably sin in (for reasons known only to him).

I honestly think all three are equally likely. But the only one that provides any motivation is number one. 

chaimoigen wrote on 23 May 2024 03:59:

Personally it didn't have that affect on me. It was said well and with passion. However, it only kept me going until the next time I had to walk outside. Then I just couldn't help but wonder yet again, what in the world does He want from me? To blind myself? To become a hermit? Start growing my own food? I really don't understand.
I don't know what to do. And it hurts.

(To me it's reminiscent of the Rambam that talks about the need to escape from a society gone mad.) 

cordnoy wrote on 23 May 2024 11:16:

Boom!  Bang! Smash! Crash! Cordnoy’s alive.

But while you were out ChaimOigen mentioned that he is experiencing some difficult situations that are completely unrelated to porn, lust, sex, internet.

I understand the point you are making but from my understanding CO is referring to the challenge he is experiencing ‘as a family’.

proudyungerman wrote on 23 May 2024 13:43:

If you think about it every day it can become part of your nature.  Then it will last past when you walk outside.

chosemyshem wrote on 23 May 2024 13:30:

however i got here i still believe that the situation in front of me was orchestrated by the one who prepares the footsteps of man... my job now is to face that situation in the best way possible

vehkam wrote on 23 May 2024 19:25:

Getting a little off topic but it's an interesting topic. In my limited hashkafic understanding, everything that happens is part of the Plan. However, and this is important, just like the Plan would've played out one way if Adam hadn't eaten from that tree but once he did it plays out another way, we can also put ourselves in different situations. This is crucial to free will. I think this is a big part of Derech Hashem, I'm sure others here will know better.
So is it part of Hashem's Plan that I sat here in front of my computer for six hours of lust yesterday? Yes. But there are two roads that could've gotten me to those six hours. Either Hashem sent me directly to that spot, or I exercised my bechira to bring myself to that spot. If I did exercise my bechira, it would have been better for me if I had chosen to play my part in the Plan in a better way. Say by doing my job for six hours to support my family and build the world. That is the curse of free will, that you can choose yourself into unpleasant situations (every situation is "good", but not every situation is "pleasant".)

Now, me being in the mess is part of the Plan and my job is always to be bocher b'tov as much as possible. But I might bear responsibility for putting myself here, or I might have ended up here without my bechira being involved in which case I will not bear the same responsibility. And when I am bocher b'tov, it still may not be part of the Plan for me to escape this rut despite my best efforts. 

Practically, there's no difference. Regardless of the past and future we need to try our hardest to follow the Torah right now. But it's an interesting discussion.