Hi All,

I'm seeking some Torah thoughts and general Chizzuk that can help me from the pretty low state I am in. Just to give a little bit of context: I am a single man who struggles with SSA, with porn addiction, and with masturbation. It has been a struggle for a long time, and it continues today. Stumbling upon this webstie has been a tremendous brachah, in particular the SSA resources that have helped me feel far less alone. I consider myself so fortunate for having GYE. I have even once completed over 100 days clean--I fell after that, but I did make it to 100 days during one period this year, which is incredible. And I have even started seeing a therapist, who is helping me make tremendous strides. In that sense, I am doing well, or at least I am on the right path.

But "recovery" is a strange thing. Every time I take a step forward, I come face to face with myself--and it feels like I am opening up a "pandora's box" and am finding that there is just so much more of myself that I cannot face. There is so much shame and pain and so much of myself I am disgusted by, and it is so daunting. And so even if I know what is right, I am just so afraid. And I act out, because I am afraid to confront it all.

I am looking for some basic Torah thoughts and words of Chizuk that can help me. Ideas, Divrei Torah, Chassidus, whatever. I have heard plenty of it. But since the beginning of my "recovery" and since I have started to truly experience so much more of my own pain, I think I need to start looking at my situation with a fresh pair of eyes.

All thoughts and encouragement welcome. Thank you!

Chizuk is great but it sounds like the white book will be the book you may need

Have you started the gye Handbook