i sit and learn ... almost your regular yeshiva guy,yet when will the battle end! its so hard and frustrating wherever i go ,whether home siblings etc i keep finding myself in front of a computer drowning! i keep fighting ,but when it gts to much i run away from it .. currently bien hazmanim im having one fall after the next, i just booked a flight out and now in a fight with my parent about it. i dont feel comfortable telling explaining and they wouldnt (want to) understand. so that leaves me frustrated about myself and at the same time bitter about not getting along with parents.
sorry for the bitterness ......bsimcha

I hear your frustration loud and clear. Keep posting.

I can totally relate to you. I am a normal bochur IN yeshiva but when I get home I become a lazy addicted guy who is all alone. It has to do with the environments. My family is clueless about my struggles, let alone about the whole topic in general. I am exposed to TV, internet, movies, places I shouldn't be, challenges in shomer negiah with non frum relatives, etc.....
It's a really tough situation.

I am planning on speaking to my rebbi on hat to do about my personal addiction as well as what to do about my home situation. Do you have anyone to speak to?

Whatever it may be, best of luck. Keep strong and keep on posting.

this is my first time posting.

i can relate to everything you say here, from the various posts. All i can suggest (as a survivor, struggeler, and hoping to recover and stay clean person) is that everyday is a battle. i too have my days/moments of weakness and failures, but I also feel that there are days of success that I feel are the important things to focus on.

there are days that my spouse is attentive to me (helps a lot get through the challenges) and there are days when she closes me out, which makes me feel like I need to search elsewhere for attention or entertainment.

try and use your time productively, avoid unstructured downtime, read more, go exercise, bike ride, go for a hike, etc. don't let yourself slip into the traps of depth and despair, but chalilah if you do, try and lift yourself up by coming back stronger than before.

we all have our moments. yehuda, dovid, and many other gedolim also did, but we need to find our strengths and focus on them.

chazak ubaruch! we can get through this!

lovingpapa
You made it!



Care to share how did papa lovingly survive the trip?
What Trucking accomplishments did you glean?