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My personal journal - open to the public
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: My personal journal - open to the public 1491 Views

Re: My personal journal - open to the public 17 Nov 2024 18:42 #425241

  • vehkam
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dreamyunicorn28 wrote on 17 Nov 2024 18:01:
Feeling supper grumpy and uninspired today (and yesterday, (and the day before)), so as much as I wish to avoid any form of socialization and continue pacifying myself with juicy fantasies (and more), I'm well aware that just a little eye contact with another human will pull me back to reality

Someone I know once said to his wife - can’t you just let me be grumpy in peace….
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: My personal journal - open to the public 17 Nov 2024 22:06 #425245

dreamyunicorn28 wrote on 17 Nov 2024 18:01:
Feeling supper grumpy and uninspired today (and yesterday, (and the day before)), so as much as I wish to avoid any form of socialization and continue pacifying myself with juicy fantasies (and more), I'm well aware that just a little eye contact with another human will pull me back to reality

I relate to you. Sometimes you just feel so bla and you just want to wake up and the tantalizing fantasies promise to give you that colorful lively experience you're missing, and you know it's a lie, and that you'll feel so terrible afterward, but you say "eh so let me enjoy the lie in the meantime because this current experience stinks too" 

Hang in there. One of the biggest lies the yh of depression tells is that this will go on forever. You're doomed! You are going to be miserable forever, it's all over. Might as well enjoy the lies that you can because you sure as hell aren't going to be enjoying anything else. This is a pure lie like you yourself said, I'm just reiterating it.

Anyway thanks for sharing your journey here, it is very moving

Re: My personal journal - open to the public 18 Nov 2024 16:05 #425277

  • dreamyunicorn28
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simchastorah wrote on 17 Nov 2024 22:06:

dreamyunicorn28 wrote on 17 Nov 2024 18:01:
Feeling supper grumpy and uninspired today (and yesterday, (and the day before)), so as much as I wish to avoid any form of socialization and continue pacifying myself with juicy fantasies (and more), I'm well aware that just a little eye contact with another human will pull me back to reality

I relate to you. Sometimes you just feel so bla and you just want to wake up and the tantalizing fantasies promise to give you that colorful lively experience you're missing, and you know it's a lie, and that you'll feel so terrible afterward, but you say "eh so let me enjoy the lie in the meantime because this current experience stinks too" 

Hang in there. One of the biggest lies the yh of depression tells is that this will go on forever. You're doomed! You are going to be miserable forever, it's all over. Might as well enjoy the lies that you can because you sure as hell aren't going to be enjoying anything else. This is a pure lie like you yourself said, I'm just reiterating it.

Anyway thanks for sharing your journey here, it is very moving

More and more I'm starting to see depression as a fantasy in itself... so whatever works to bust a fantasy will bust the feeling of depression. That's why I naturally avoid reaching out to people, because it pushes me to see the world the way it is.

Thanks simchasotrah and ya"ll for the Chizzuk
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