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Chazon Yeshayahu

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TOPIC: Chazon Yeshayahu 952 Views

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 06 Jun 2023 18:51 #396968

Markz
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cordnoy wrote on 06 Jun 2023 17:56:

Markz wrote on 06 Jun 2023 17:25:

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 06 Jun 2023 14:23:

Guys (or GYEs), I have a dilemma. As some of you have seen on a different thread of mine (whose name escapes me now...) I had a job in a yeshiva and I was considering dropping it due to being triggered there and then that question was answered for me when they unceremoniously let me go (not sure I wouldve appreciated a ceremony anyway, but whatever...). Now I have a new dilemma. I have a computer at home for parnassa and it's my ikar parnassa. I had gotten into trouble with it before and every time i found (and used) a loophole in the filter I immediately went to TAG to close it. I had to go more than once and each time was extremely difficult and embarrassing. So now, everything that hints of a video or anything, is mamesh closed and inaccessible. I was in a mood this morning and I was just searching for another hole and I found it. It was just a picture nota video, but it didnt get blocked by the skin blocker thingy (I think thats the actual computer term for it) and I just fell because of it. So now I should go to tag AGAIN and say "hey see this picture? can you block it for me?"? I'm more inclined to just chuck the job. Even when I wasnt having kedusha issues, it was still annoying to have it in the house..to always have to do things late at night..for my kids to see me on it (yes I tried having a seperate room for it but it's not foolproof). And it creates a certain label that I'm a "computer guy", hard to explain that feeling but it bothers me. This is not what i had in mind for myself, to be sitting in front of a computer for my parnassa. I feel like even with a good filter I'm playing with fire, this very thing destroys people. I would much rather work more hours at a lower paying job as long as i dont have to sit in front of a screen even for less time. Many times when I'm in a bad mood I've gone to the library to view things (not porn bH!) and I think its exacerbated by the fact that the computer is my parnassa so its "libo gass bah". I'm wondering if I should leave this job and Hashem will take care of me because I'm doing it for the right reasons. And my wife will be very happy also. Any thoughts?

I’m with you.
I’m like you.

There was a period I worked a lot from home alone. It’s too much of a challenge for me. Very easy to loose work momentum and look for things we don’t want to.

My suggestion?

Get out of there.
Find an office building nearby and pay rent for a cubicle. You’ll get your work done and keep the porn sites deserted.

Works for you?

My suggestion? Work on the problem.

Cord’,

Unfortunately we aren’t robots.
Not everyone is made the same.

I was sharing what works for me.
Regardless of porn, I know that I get little financial/ spiritual growth done at home compared to in office.
Of course we should lock down devices where possible, but you’re forgetting that the setting does make a difference to many of us.

I wish there was a way to change my makeup.
If you have good ideas how to work on the problem, please share it.

Until we find, I’ll have to continue working with the reality of how I’m cut out to be, and just work with it. Don’t you think?

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Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 06 Jun 2023 19:10 #396969

Yeshayahu 41:6 OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 194 Karma: 12	cordnoy wrote on 06 Jun 2023 17:56: My suggestion? Work on the problem. Is that a contradiction to making it easier for myself by getting rid of this and looking for another way to make hashtadlus for parnassa?
	איש את רעהו יעזרו ולאחיו יאמר חזק!! (ישעיהו מא:ו) Let's do this together!! bradley613613@gmail.com

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 06 Jun 2023 19:31 #396973

Markz
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Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 06 Jun 2023 17:48:

I really appreciate the oilum's input. It would be so much better to just rent an office, but it's not the kind of job that I'm working hour X to hour Y and then I'm done. It's the kind of job that has to be at home because I could be needed for something unexpectedly and most of the work has to be done at night

Bradley you don’t want to sound like a phony Chazon Yeshayahu if your revelations are limited to midnight hours when you’re not lucid, gd forbid like bilaam’s donkey.

Apparently you have a not for prophet business. It’s time to upgrade!

Kidding aside - it’s (possibly) your choice if you want to be available for work at night or not…

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Last Edit: 06 Jun 2023 20:43 by Markz.

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 06 Jun 2023 20:07 #396974

davidt
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Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 06 Jun 2023 19:10:

cordnoy wrote on 06 Jun 2023 17:56:

My suggestion? Work on the problem.

Is that a contradiction to making it easier for myself by getting rid of this and looking for another way to make hashtadlus for parnassa?

In my humble opinion not only is it not a contradiction but it's a must. The temptations are more powerful than us, and if we try to fight it head on we will almost always lose. Once we are standing at the edge of the cliff, we are very vulnerable to falling off of it. Instead, we must stay as far away from the edge of the cliff as possible. Therefore, one of the most powerful tools in this struggle is making good fences.

The secret to success in this area is learning where we are vulnerable and preparing fences in advance. We all need to learn our Yetzer Hara well, as it says in Mishlei (12:10): "Yode'ah Tzadik nefesh be'hemto -The Tzadik knows the nature of his animal.”

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
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Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 17 Aug 2023 20:10 #400039

Yeshayahu 41:6
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Hi, i guess I'm back. There were several times this week i came close to falling and I saved myself by reaching out on the chat so i guess its good to stick around here. I just wanted to share a thought that helped me a little.
Imagine living in Yerushalayim during the churban. Or beitar as the Romans were overcoming bar kochba. Or in a city in Germany in the 11th century as the Crusaders some into town. Or having just resettled in France before being expelled again. Or in England being besieged in a castle about to decide whether or not to kill yourself before the castle walls are breached by bloodthirsty Christian mobs. Or being expelled from Spain after years of relative peace. Or watching in horror as the black Inquisitor's carriage pulls to a stop outside your house. Or hearing the thunderous hoofbeats of Cossack warhorses across the Ukrainian countryside. Or walking the streets of Berlin in the late 1930's. Or trying to perform a bris in Communist Russia. Or waking up to the dogs barking in Auschwitz.
Any one of those Jews probably thought "How terrible it is to live in this generation! why couldnt i have been born in a more peaceful time?"
I daresay, if any one of them were taken out of that time period and placed in our world, they would BEG to go back to where they came from. THIS IS OUR HOLOCAUST, OUR POGROM, OUR INQUSITION, OUR TACH V'TAT etc! So i think to myself "Im going through my Holocaust now. Do i want to come out as one of those who held on to their emunah? Or to be one of those who lost it, granted through no fault of their own, and be spoken about like 'listen you cant blame him, with the gehenim he went through...'"
I believe that those of us who hold strong today are, on some level, comparable to the ones who went through the gehenim of their particular galus, held on, and passed it to the next generation for them to hold strong in THEIR gehenim. And when all this is over, we'll all be on the same side meeting and greeting all those who, like us, went through their generations challenges and succeeded.

איש את רעהו יעזרו ולאחיו יאמר חזק!! (ישעיהו מא:ו)
Let's do this together!!
bradley613613@gmail.com

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 18 Aug 2023 17:04 #400070

richtig
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Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 17 Aug 2023 20:10:

Reb Yeshaya, I think the chizzuk is great when personal. I think the comparison to bloodshed and unimaginable yissurim is unconscionable

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 18 Aug 2023 22:54 #400094

Yeshayahu 41:6
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Just sharing the thought that works for me. Take it or leave it.
Hashem put us here because we coudnt handle that, and Hashem put THEM there because they couldnt handle THIS.
Our generation is often referred to as the "spiritual Holocaust". do you find that equally reprehensible? Some people do, and I totally respect that.
I'm just making the point that I want to come out of our test victorious just like those heros did then.

איש את רעהו יעזרו ולאחיו יאמר חזק!! (ישעיהו מא:ו)
Let's do this together!!
bradley613613@gmail.com

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 20 Aug 2023 02:32 #400107

richtig
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Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 18 Aug 2023 22:54:

Just sharing the thought that works for me. Take it or leave it.
Hashem put us here because we coudnt handle that, and Hashem put THEM there because they couldnt handle THIS.
Our generation is often referred to as the "spiritual Holocaust". do you find that equally reprehensible? Some people do, and I totally respect that.
I'm just making the point that I want to come out of our test victorious just like those heros did then. We are in this together.

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 21 Aug 2023 00:27 #400159

bright
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richtig wrote on 18 Aug 2023 17:04:

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 17 Aug 2023 20:10:

Reb Yeshaya, I think the chizzuk is great when personal. I think the comparison to bloodshed and unimaginable yissurim is unconscionable

Personally, when I was going through my emotional yissurim I would ask daily, that Hashem would replace them with the most horrible physical pain possible just as long as it paid whatever pain quota I had to not have to deal with the internal pain. I was also told by many great people that it was my holocaust or concentration camp. I know it is not necessarily proof but you get my drift. It is well known that the Chofetz Chaim said the last galus will be a spiritual one, and when he heard sighs of relief he said it must have already started. He seemed to think it is worse.... Additionally no two people go through pain the same way and definitely not any two generations. What for one is unimaginable to the other may be a walk in the park. Subjectively the pain may be felt the same.

Nothing good grows in the dark.

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 21 Aug 2023 00:38 #400160

Yeshayahu 41:6 OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 194 Karma: 12	What Yeshayahu failed to convey was brought out by R' bright perfectly
	איש את רעהו יעזרו ולאחיו יאמר חזק!! (ישעיהו מא:ו) Let's do this together!! bradley613613@gmail.com

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 10 Oct 2023 16:12 #402058

Yeshayahu 41:6
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A gezuntin vinter to all and yeshuos and nechamos for klal yisrael in this difficult time.
I just wanted to share an incredible thing that happened to me Friday night. Unfortunately, I had acted out and then fell asleep. A few hours later (around the time that our blessed peace-loving cousins began their freedom fight to drive out the occupiers from their land) I woke up with my arm (that had the major role in the acting out) in excruciating pain and completely dislocated from my shoulder. I couldnt move it an inch without crying out in pain. My wife (who of course knows nothing about this) was still up and I asked her to go wake up the hatzala guy across the street. She was about to do so when I whispered through clenched teeth "Ok, Hashem, I know exactly why this is happening. I am mekabel bln, absolutely no acting out from now until chanuka". I know this sounds like a fairy tale but, I kid you not, right after I said those words my arm slid right back into place and I was able to move it freely without pain.
Now should I be like Yeravam ben Nevat who continued sinning after regaining the use of his arm or should I actually keep my word?
What does the oilum make of this story? Is there a G-d after all? Does He actually care about us?
I eagerly await your thoughts...

איש את רעהו יעזרו ולאחיו יאמר חזק!! (ישעיהו מא:ו)
Let's do this together!!
bradley613613@gmail.com

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 10 Oct 2023 16:15 #402059

Hashem Help Me Current streak: 2791 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3956	A loving "potch" from our Father.
	Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 10 Oct 2023 16:25 #402060

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Is there a G-d in this world absolutely, you need only open your eyes and see that time you needed some money and somehow through a third party you ended up with that exact amount in the nick of time, and countless other small episodes when things looked bleak but then a third party had the answer and made the bleakness go away that is all the hand of G-d touching you showing you he cares, should you keep your word absolutely to the best of your ability this story should show you that G-d is here G-d cares and G-d listens to you and sometimes even gives you an immediate answer

I will give battle Sir- General George Meade (Army of the Potomac)
Nuts!- General Anthony McAuliffe (101st Airborne)
Lets Get Dangerous! - Darkwing Duck
You’ll need to raise the ante and negotiate- Rechnitzer Rejects
I'm fresh out of essential truths- Spock
Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person - David Rossi

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 10 Oct 2023 19:12 #402064

DeletedUser1281 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 448 Karma: 35	Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 10 Oct 2023 16:12: What does the oilum make of this story? Is there a G-d after all? Does He actually care about us? He let you finish and only then did he twist your arm I'd say he's there and caring.
	We get only one chance at life. This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing. Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: Chazon Yeshayahu 10 Oct 2023 21:28 #402069

bright
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A gezuntin vinter to all and yeshuos and nechamos for klal yisrael in this difficult time.

I just wanted to share an incredible thing that happened to me Friday night. Unfortunately, I had acted out and then fell asleep. A few hours later (around the time that our blessed peace-loving cousins began their freedom fight to drive out the occupiers from their land) I woke up with my arm (that had the major role in the acting out) in excruciating pain and completely dislocated from my shoulder. I couldnt move it an inch without crying out in pain. My wife (who of course knows nothing about this) was still up and I asked her to go wake up the hatzala guy across the street. She was about to do so when I whispered through clenched teeth "Ok, Hashem, I know exactly why this is happening. I am mekabel bln, absolutely no acting out from now until chanuka". I know this sounds like a fairy tale but, I kid you not, right after I said those words my arm slid right back into place and I was able to move it freely without pain.

Now should I be like Yeravam ben Nevat who continued sinning after regaining the use of his arm or should I actually keep my word?

What does the oilum make of this story? Is there a G-d after all? Does He actually care about us?

I eagerly await your thoughts...There is a piece from the nesivos shalom referring to these messages as a modern day bas kol. Hashem our loving father talking to us.

Nothing good grows in the dark.