cordnoy wrote on 06 Jun 2023 17:56:
Markz wrote on 06 Jun 2023 17:25:
Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 06 Jun 2023 14:23:
Guys (or GYEs), I have a dilemma. As some of you have seen on a different thread of mine (whose name escapes me now...) I had a job in a yeshiva and I was considering dropping it due to being triggered there and then that question was answered for me when they unceremoniously let me go (not sure I wouldve appreciated a ceremony anyway, but whatever...). Now I have a new dilemma. I have a computer at home for parnassa and it's my ikar parnassa. I had gotten into trouble with it before and every time i found (and used) a loophole in the filter I immediately went to TAG to close it. I had to go more than once and each time was extremely difficult and embarrassing. So now, everything that hints of a video or anything, is mamesh closed and inaccessible. I was in a mood this morning and I was just searching for another hole and I found it. It was just a picture nota video, but it didnt get blocked by the skin blocker thingy (I think thats the actual computer term for it) and I just fell because of it. So now I should go to tag AGAIN and say "hey see this picture? can you block it for me?"? I'm more inclined to just chuck the job. Even when I wasnt having kedusha issues, it was still annoying to have it in the house..to always have to do things late at night..for my kids to see me on it (yes I tried having a seperate room for it but it's not foolproof). And it creates a certain label that I'm a "computer guy", hard to explain that feeling but it bothers me. This is not what i had in mind for myself, to be sitting in front of a computer for my parnassa. I feel like even with a good filter I'm playing with fire, this very thing destroys people. I would much rather work more hours at a lower paying job as long as i dont have to sit in front of a screen even for less time. Many times when I'm in a bad mood I've gone to the library to view things (not porn bH!) and I think its exacerbated by the fact that the computer is my parnassa so its "libo gass bah". I'm wondering if I should leave this job and Hashem will take care of me because I'm doing it for the right reasons. And my wife will be very happy also. Any thoughts?
I’m with you.
I’m like you.
There was a period I worked a lot from home alone. It’s too much of a challenge for me. Very easy to loose work momentum and look for things we don’t want to.
My suggestion?
Get out of there.
Find an office building nearby and pay rent for a cubicle. You’ll get your work done and keep the porn sites deserted.
Works for you?
My suggestion? Work on the problem.
Cord’,
Unfortunately we aren’t robots.
Not everyone is made the same.
I was sharing what works for me.
Regardless of porn, I know that I get little financial/ spiritual growth done at home compared to in office.
Of course we should lock down devices where possible, but you’re forgetting that the setting does make a difference to many of us.
I wish there was a way to change my makeup.
If you have good ideas how to work on the problem, please share it.
Until we find, I’ll have to continue working with the reality of how I’m cut out to be, and just work with it. Don’t you think?