It hurts like hell, but that's ok.

Grant400 wrote on 09 May 2023 17:39:

Thank you. I was just thinking about that concept today.

It helps to keep in mind that spiritually as well, pain is a sign of life. The dead feel nothing.
I also find it comforting to think that ultimately it will hurt like hell a lot harder if I succumb to this pain. 

Hope is not a plan.

Grant400 wrote on 11 May 2023 15:50:

A filter is also not a plan, though it at least can be part of one.

Captain wrote on 11 May 2023 18:05:

100%

Though for me a filter is definitely more than just part, it's one of the foundations. I must remove access or it's completely hopeless. But at the same time if that is all my plan consists of, it's hopeless as well.

Captain wrote on 11 May 2023 18:05:

Hope is probably a factor in a plan as well. And as Fyodor Dostoevsky was apt to say: "To live without hope is to cease to live."

Guys, I want to share something that's been bothering me a bit.

I've been on this site for about 3 years. Although I've gone awol for quite some time throughout, for some legitimate reasons, I recently have returned daily for even more legitimate reasons.

Recently, it's been quieter than I've ever seen it, by quite a large margin. At the same time there are still so many new and old names lurking around on the forum, yet not participating. This platform can offer so much to so many that it's a pity and a shame to hide in the shadows out of fear.

I implore any of you who are suffering and struggling silently to please put your fears aside and post your first post. A real post. I know it's scary and intimidating. I've been there. I remember the fears of "Do I qualify?" , "Will anyone respond?" "Will someone know who I am?" etc. But I'm telling you it's worth all those (unfounded) risks.

Anyone who is ready to put in the work can really grow immensely and even (gasp) connect with live people via phone or in person - or not, but you don't have to suffer alone! Those helpless feelings can be educated away.

Now is the time!

Please, let's start to see some new posters ready to conquer their fears, desires and demons.

I honestly have felt the same way, though I haven't been here long.

Grant400 wrote on 12 May 2023 01:51:

The forum is an awesome place. It is full of extremely useful information and resources, honest accounts of fellow strugglers that new members can relate to, and a safe place for the guy who has been hiding for decades to slowly start opening up and getting his tormented history off his chest. It is also a place where one can get to know those who BH have succeeded in breaking free and are now hanging around to assist others. By posting and responding, one can find a good GYE chaver and have someone guide him out b'ezras Hashem.

I can hate some of the things I've done, but I can still respect myself for everything else.

Grant400 wrote on 11 May 2023 15:50:

Nor is 'hesach hadaas'

I used to sincerely think it is - all I had to do was focus on other things and move on in life. My only problem was that for some reason I could never get down to carrying out my plan...

The more I get, the more I need.

It never ends.

I'm learning the issue is me, not what I don't have.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 12 May 2023 10:56:

Is there a way I can subscribe to all new posts coming up - automatically- without having to look for them and then click on subscribe?

Excitement doesn't last.

Inspiration doesn't last.

An easy day doesn't last.

But the changes I make because of them do.

Grant400 wrote on 14 May 2023 13:22:

It is possible to make some sort of somewhat steady inspiration, such as with daily reading of something inspiring. Works better for some than for others, but is definitely worth a try. Also, all the feelings of inspiration do have a small impact in the subconscious that remains, and over time all those small imprints can add up and strenghten the person.