(Do you wish happy new year?)

So, the last few times it's been easier to get to 9-10 clean days. I'm currently holding at about 9 days clean and don't feel the urge so great. But I feel empty, lethargic, and depressed. Energy is very low. Missed tefilin today. Everything just seems like a blur. No excitement in life. What to do?

farblunjet wrote on 02 Jan 2020 01:19:

No excitement? Start planning now for the excitement 7 1/2 years from now.
If you’re ready to start a new Chapter in your met”Life” with a new cycle, you definitely should be blessed with a HappyNewYear!
Otherwise January 1 doesn’t have much significance.

If anything, you can look forward to the GuardYourEyes New Year on January 25 2020 which strangely always coincides with the Chinese New Year where you know what’s on the Menu -  Chopstics Taphsics... 

seven and half years?? no way! I need some excitement today/tomorrow.

I think this lethargy is normal, when you become to stay sober

Because you are quitting your old paths and your old friend named "addiction". And so you have new paths to find and to make in your life..

And because, perhaps, the Yetser Hara is making you depressed to make you vulnerable to a fall.

But, perhaps there is another reasons ? Do you fill your days with sane activities, to replace the addiction ?
Are you in a mood of "I don't want to fall" a or "I am working and changing my way of life" ?

farblunjet wrote on 02 Jan 2020 01:19:

1- Ethics of the Fathers teaches us to “Acquire for yourself a friend.” Our sages recognize how vital companionship is to our quality of life. Hundreds of Facebook friends don’t count. One good friend, who is loyal, kind, wishes you well, and shows good character is all you need.

Our burdens become lighter and our joys become sweeter when we share them with friends. Don’t wake up one day to realize that you have lost touch and taken the best people in your life for granted.

2- Stop living life while looking in the rear view mirror. We bring ourselves down when we can’t let go of past hurts and mistakes. Allow yourself to say goodbye to the chaos that has hounded you. This takes inner courage and strength. But if you continue to hold on to the pain you will never see yourself as a potent force in your life. You are grieving, hurting, and aching but you are not living.

You can break the cycle and fix the mess if you can make peace with your past. Ask yourself this question: How can I make my today better than my yesterday? Give yourself real goals to help you move on. Embrace the people in your life instead of creating barriers. If you see that you are struggling with holding onto a grudge or that you can’t move forward, realize that you are allowing your past to destroy your future. It is up to you to discover the desire within to live life better. Studying Torah’s wisdom, surrounding yourself with positive people, and concentrating on choosing emotions like tolerance and patience instead of anger and resentment are all keys to finding serenity.

yes i need friends/people in my life. don't have that now. never did. i got mental issues that make it very hard to start/maintain relationships.