I have been asked by a dear friend to perhaps start this thread.
If you think it's not beneficial, ignore it.
If you think it's detrimental, let the mods know (sadly, they have my number). 
If you think it's beneficial, then let us know.

This is a thread for fellows who are/were married and have cheated (whatever the definition is) on their spouse.

So here goes:

I have cheated.

I think its best to place this thread in the Balei Battim Section

Mr (Rabbi?) Trouble 

What is the Toeles of this thread ? 
I'm not accusing, I'm just curious,  is it practice for Yom kippur or maybe your trying to get a discussion of does porn = cheating or along those lines, or maybe your just simply living up to your name ....

i-man wrote on 24 Sep 2019 14:47:

1. Trouble
2. Confession
3. Camaraderie
4. Discussion
5. Repentance

Not necessarily in that order

I cheated. And camraderie would be the toelles for me.... Not counting porn, emotional flings are cheating as are physical interactions if the spouse is unaware and therefore can not be said to agree. . And yeh I'd see this as a balle batims forum thread. Cuz it only applies to married.

as are physical interactions if the spouse is unaware and therefore can not be said to agree. .



? without any malice. im not understanding the logic behind this statement

johnfrumgye wrote on 24 Sep 2019 14:23:

Unmarrieds say “If only I was married, it would be bliss with ‘pas besalo’”. 
This language of this thread is clean (um mr trouble - I’m not stoking nothing), so I believe it should stay right where it is.

I'm a cheat a liar and a thief.
The miracle is that everything can be repaired with the right actions and kavana.
My wife knows pretty much all of my story, including the fact that i visited prostitutes for most of the first 17 years of our marriage. 
Building a relationship based on transparency and honesty has been the biggest miracle i have seen in the past few years.

GrowStrong wrote on 27 Sep 2019 07:35:

If this thread was started for this post דיינו !
If you are willing to work theres always hope !

Trouble wrote on 24 Sep 2019 13:18:

What is considered cheating? feeling emotionally attached to someone which is not your wife? Even without the s*x?Or cheating is only s*x? 

ehrliche.bochur wrote on 14 Oct 2019 11:02:

I am not an expert, but I think that there is huge difference between feeling emotionally attached to someone, or actively being in an emotionally attached relationship.
When I personally feel attached to someone it doesn't mean that he/she feels the same, but when we're both involved in an emotional relationship, even if there is NO sex involved, I believe it would be considered cheating.
Now days is very common what's called cybersex and it's  considered cheating without even bodies being touched.  

For me, what ever I need to hide from wife would/should be considered cheating.
One of the tools that helped me break free was to stop lying and hiding from my wife. If I cant share it with her, probably I should not have done it.

Btw' having sex with someone besides your partner is considered adultery.