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Cheating confession
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Cheating confession 1148 Views

Cheating confession 24 Sep 2019 13:18 #343755

  • Trouble
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I have been asked by a dear friend to perhaps start this thread.
If you think it's not beneficial, ignore it.
If you think it's detrimental, let the mods know (sadly, they have my number). 
If you think it's beneficial, then let us know.

This is a thread for fellows who are/were married and have cheated (whatever the definition is) on their spouse.

So here goes:

I have cheated.
I'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

Re: Cheating confession 24 Sep 2019 14:23 #343758

  • johnfrumgye
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I think its best to place this thread in the Balei Battim Section

Re: Cheating confession 24 Sep 2019 14:47 #343760

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Mr (Rabbi?) Trouble 

What is the Toeles of this thread ? 
I'm not accusing, I'm just curious,  is it practice for Yom kippur or maybe your trying to get a discussion of does porn = cheating or along those lines, or maybe your just simply living up to your name ....

Re: Cheating confession 24 Sep 2019 17:45 #343776

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i-man wrote on 24 Sep 2019 14:47:
Mr (Rabbi?) Trouble 

What is the Toeles of this thread ? 
I'm not accusing, I'm just curious,  is it practice for Yom kippur or maybe your trying to get a discussion of does porn = cheating or along those lines, or maybe your just simply living up to your name ....

1. Trouble
2. Confession
3. Camaraderie
4. Discussion
5. Repentance

Not necessarily in that order
I'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

Re: Cheating confession 25 Sep 2019 19:40 #343819

  • OTR
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I cheated. And camraderie would be the toelles for me.... Not counting porn, emotional flings are cheating as are physical interactions if the spouse is unaware and therefore can not be said to agree. . And yeh I'd see this as a balle batims forum thread. Cuz it only applies to married.
  • I've never been one for signatures.. but sometimes people change
  • I'm seeking the life that I find manageable which may not be the life you find manageable. But let's make a deal. I want you to find yours and you want me to find mine even if they are different.
Last Edit: 25 Sep 2019 19:43 by OTR.

Re: Cheating confession 26 Sep 2019 03:17 #343831

as are physical interactions if the spouse is unaware and therefore can not be said to agree. .



? without any malice. im not understanding the logic behind this statement

Re: Cheating confession 26 Sep 2019 06:56 #343841

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qwerty123456 wrote on 26 Sep 2019 03:17:
as are physical interactions if the spouse is unaware and therefore can not be said to agree. .



? without any malice. im not understanding the logic behind this statement

IIm not an expert on the rules of cheating ,but it seems that if the wife  agrees to porn watching (?!) it's not cheating,there may be other issues.....(that might require a different thread)
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 27 Sep 2019 14:04 by sleepy.

Re: Cheating confession 26 Sep 2019 14:53 #343859

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johnfrumgye wrote on 24 Sep 2019 14:23:
I think its best to place this thread in the Balei Battim Section

Unmarrieds say “If only I was married, it would be bliss with ‘pas besalo’”. 
This language of this thread is clean (um mr trouble - I’m not stoking nothing), so I believe it should stay right where it is.
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Re: Cheating confession 27 Sep 2019 07:35 #343884

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I'm a cheat a liar and a thief.
The miracle is that everything can be repaired with the right actions and kavana.
My wife knows pretty much all of my story, including the fact that i visited prostitutes for most of the first 17 years of our marriage. 
Building a relationship based on transparency and honesty has been the biggest miracle i have seen in the past few years.

Re: Cheating confession 27 Sep 2019 13:58 #343893

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GrowStrong wrote on 27 Sep 2019 07:35:
I'm a cheat a liar and a thief.
The miracle is that everything can be repaired with the right actions and kavana.
My wife knows pretty much all of my story, including the fact that i visited prostitutes for most of the first 17 years of our marriage. 
Building a relationship based on transparency and honesty has been the biggest miracle i have seen in the past few years.

If this thread was started for this post דיינו !
If you are willing to work theres always hope !

Re: Cheating confession 14 Oct 2019 11:02 #344192

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Trouble wrote on 24 Sep 2019 13:18:
I have been asked by a dear friend to perhaps start this thread.
If you think it's not beneficial, ignore it.
If you think it's detrimental, let the mods know (sadly, they have my number). 
If you think it's beneficial, then let us know.

This is a thread for fellows who are/were married and have cheated (whatever the definition is) on their spouse.
So here goes:

I have cheated.

What is considered cheating? feeling emotionally attached to someone which is not your wife? Even without the s*x?Or cheating is only s*x? 
-"Все наши слова - пустой звук, если наше сердце не с нами"

-"есть око видят и ухо слышащее и все твои дела записываются в книгу

Re: Cheating confession 17 Oct 2019 01:11 #344215

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ehrliche.bochur wrote on 14 Oct 2019 11:02:
What is considered cheating? feeling emotionally attached to someone which is not your wife? Even without the s*x?Or cheating is only s*x? 

I am not an expert, but I think that there is huge difference between feeling emotionally attached to someone, or actively being in an emotionally attached relationship.
When I personally feel attached to someone it doesn't mean that he/she feels the same, but when we're both involved in an emotional relationship, even if there is NO sex involved, I believe it would be considered cheating.
Now days is very common what's called cybersex and it's  considered cheating without even bodies being touched.  

For me, what ever I need to hide from wife would/should be considered cheating.
One of the tools that helped me break free was to stop lying and hiding from my wife. If I cant share it with her, probably I should not have done it.

Btw' having sex with someone besides your partner is considered adultery.
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


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