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Dream - Worried how to cope
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TOPIC: Dream - Worried how to cope 1241 Views

Dream - Worried how to cope 18 Nov 2015 12:56 #268931

  • newbeginning
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Today is my third day clean (for the nth time) but each time I fall, I like to see myself as getting stronger and stronger and better equipped for my next attempt.
Last night I had a wet dream, and ever since I woke up this morning it has been on my mind. I was supposed to go to a shiur this evening, but it may be cancelled so I will be at home for quite a few hours. I'm thinking of setting myself a detailed plan of what to do when I come home e.g. Daf Yomi, browse GYE for half hour, Read a casual (Jewish book) - maybe look at new hobby's.
Either way, the majority of times I have had a nocturnal emission, I have usually fallen the same day.
What do you guys think is the best way to deal with it? or with wet dreams in general??

Re: Dream - Worried how to cope 18 Nov 2015 14:18 #268934

  • Markz
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50 guys wrote:
Ignore wet dreams


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Re: Dream - Worried how to cope 18 Nov 2015 14:22 #268936

  • bigmoish
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Welcome back.
Generally the folks here would say to focus on the things we have control over.
Chazal tell us that improper thoughts during the day lead to emissions at night? Is that the case here? Perhaps that could be a cause for the falls the following day as well?
If not, maybe you're giving too much thought to the nocturnal emission and the stress makes you want to act out.
Either way, it should be with Hatzlocha.
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Re: Dream - Worried how to cope 18 Nov 2015 20:01 #268961

  • newbeginning
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Thank you
Instead of getting home at half 4 I decided to go for a walk with my uncle until about 6 - because I was feeling the urge
Unfortunately I fell just before...
I actually wanted to fall, I find it hard to live in sobriety
Keep going back to the same position no matter how many plans I make

Re: Dream - Worried how to cope 19 Nov 2015 00:36 #268994

  • shlomo24
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What helps for me is accepting and moving on. Accepting that i had a wet dream, that i can't control my unconscious thoughts. Moving on means not obsessing over the fact that i had a wet dream, NU? it's not the end of the world. I agree with what Moish said above.
I once told my sponsor that i had a wet dream and i was upset, he told me "hey, it's a free shot, why not enjoy it!" i was like "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" but honestly it helped me be not hard on myself and not go crazy over things i can't control.
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Re: Dream - Worried how to cope 19 Nov 2015 00:51 #268997

  • yiraishamaim
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Shlomo24 wrote:
What helps for me is accepting and moving on. Accepting that i had a wet dream, that i can't control my unconscious thoughts. Moving on means not obsessing over the fact that i had a wet dream, NU? it's not the end of the world. I agree with what Moish said above.


Sure. Tafasta merubah loh tafasta.

We know wet dreams are not good. We know we must do teshuva. We don't bury our heads in the sand. But we also know that like Shlomo Hamelech said, everything has its proper time.

Right now let's be sober. Let's take it a day at a time. Only focus on sobriety and what I personally need to get there.

Leave other issues for another time - Manyana
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