Dov has been in recovery for a looong time and has seen A LOT. As you have seen already, he has a keen sense for what is really going on.

He doesn't usually tell people what to do. I would trust him if I were you.

From my perspective i have no idea if you need therapy or not. But I'm certain that you need something more than just reading the GYE handbook and thinking it over. Maybe get a partner and a sponsor and join the phone conferences. In fact, you're in yerusholayim, maybe join OINK. You've got to do something, and it's got to be now. There is no tomorrow! Just remember there was something drawing you to therapy, you brought it up, not us.

Gibbor is absolutely right when he says we all go through periods of thinking that our problem is not so bad and we can manage it. It's the oldest trick in the yetzer hora's book! He makes us complacent and then catches off guard. I fell for it recently, despite the fact that after well over a year trying to overcome this, I still haven't. Please don't wait another year to see it. In a year's time you'll wish you had started today.

@Gibbor120

I know, Dov definitely knows what he is talking about! We'll see what he says about this later, I am just worried that I over reacted the past week and Dov is only judging me based on this past weeks thoughts.

Didnt know that Dov rarely tells people what to do, I'm honored!!



@DrWatson

You're right, I brought it up. I think you're right, I will regret not starting now. But I am worried I wont go into it feeling that this is my only chance and this has to work. I might believe that I dont need it. That is unless a trustworthy therapist says that I do indeed need therapy.

But I suppose its not the 12 steps, you dont need to hit rock bottom with no way out in order to benefit from therapy!

Dear Endofmytether,

Without grand introductions, I will tell you the following: it sounds like the reason you are posting on here and reaching out is that you really DO realize that you can't hep yourself. You are scared of what you can do to other people (such as your cousin, other girls like her, etc.) You know that you do not have control over yourself.

Buddy, if you know that you have a good chance of hurting another person in a sexual way, you need to RUN to a therapist. Stop posting on the forum and RUN to a therapist.

If you do not do that, and you end up hurting a girl in a sexua way (either by exposing yourself or anything else), your life will become a living hell. You will lose your wife, your kids, you will have to go through a lengthy court process and you will end up in jail.

Drop typing and RUN to a therapist ASAP. Your very life depends on it. Stop rationalizing, if you don't go to therapy now, your life will be nothing like it is now. It will get so bad, that you will wish that you were dead instead. RUN!

@InternalControl,

thanks for making it clear, you are right when you say there is too much too lose by not going!

So a big thanks to everyone, especially Dov, for all the advice you have given me, I have initiated contact with a therapist and will start my road to recovery! I am not sure whether I will be back to update you all or not so I wish you all now a full recovery yourselves!!!

Start of my tether!

Please keep us updated.

yes, please do, it gives us all chizzuk.

great job KUTGW

Wondering how this sweet fellow is doing.....

Hey! Say hi some time, old buddy!

Still wondering...

Just wanted to give you guys a quick update as you deserve to know what happened to me. I started therapy straight after our last discussion here on the forum and I have learned a lot about myself. I want to thank everyone here who helped me and prompted me to seek help. I am not sure when I will return to the forum to continue discussing myself here, might be a year, might be a day. At the moment, I am being kept busy 24/7! But, you never know.

Special thanks to @Dov for pushing me to go to therapy, a move which has changed my life for the better forever. I see now that clever as a person is, a person cant help himself. He needs outside help, and he needs to admit that he doesnt know all the answers.

Thanks also to @cordnoy for recommending me a therapist. He is indeed excellent.

May Hashem bless you all!

With Love.

End Of My Tether

Wow...what a post. What a growing person.

Continued hatzlocha!!

didn't find one of those with tears in it, but that's what i'm doin' now!

B"H!

:'(

that's : then ' then (