Sunday, 03 January 2021

Pros vs. Cons

by GYE Member (See all authors)

Pros vs. Cons

I want to share an idea I read that really helped me out in all areas of desire. By that I mean, wherever it isn't intellect that is causing you to do or not do something, but rather desire or emotion.

The method is to sit down and think through, or write down, all the pros (of the issue you are dealing with) including the "bad" pros. For example, even the mere fact that you enjoy it and find it so pleasurable can go on the list of benefits. Then you write the cons and why you don't want to or shouldn't continue. (This is especially appropriate when you hit rock bottom and the cons are so obviously outweighing the pros). So now, after having weighed the issue on a purely intellectual level, make a decision if you want to continue with this practice or not.

So now you already decided the fight and struggle that will crop up in the future! Now, when faced with the challenge head on, it isn't as tough a fight as it was before because you say to yourself " Yes I know how desirable it is and how good I'll feel but I already took all that into consideration and decided that I have more to lose, and more unhappy and unpleasant feelings in the long run than the feelings which drive me now.

So once it's a nice neat packaged decision -not of yiras shamayim or that it's wrong and I shouldn't.....etc. that we know unfortunately can get steamrolled by desire... but rather a purely mathematical analysis that has already been determined by losing out more than gaining, of less pleasure vs. more pleasure (in the future), it becomes much easier to say no without further vacillation, even in the face of such intense desire.