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Get the Message!

the.guard Monday, 04 May 2020
Get the Message!

I wanted to just share this...

Recently, a fellow that I know from many years back was arrested for some deviant behavior in the realm of z'nus. Here was a guy just about my age and on the surface seemed to have had it all. A great job, beautiful family, prominence in the community where he lived, well-liked by all etc. Maybe even I could say he is the kind of guy people like me would look at, reflect upon my own life and feel like a loser when comparing myself to him. And then....the arrest. I can only imagine how much pain he has caused his family, ruined his career, his name and basically dumped his whole life into the toilet.

What shook me up was when I started to think about how such a thing could happen. He was driven by a yetzer harah. Granted, it may be that the yetzer harah that attacked him attacks me in different ways, but not that much different. I don't know how many battles with his yetzer he won or how many he lost, but I do know that he lost just one too many. Because of that he turned his life upside down and the lives of all those around him.

So what are the big differences between me and him? We both went to the same yeshivas, hung out with the same guys and eventually battled the same yetzer, albeit on different fronts. The only differences are:

  1. The rest of the world acknowledges his behavior as deviant while mine is considered "normal". However, both are prohibited by the same G-D Who wants us to lead a moral and pure life.
  1. He got caught.

We tend to think that we have a good idea of what a registered s-x offender looks like. Some creepy guy who lives in a hole in the ground and that as soon as you see him you know that this fellow is "off". That picture may hold true until you discover that it could also be someone that on the surface is not that much different than you; or better.

My purpose in writing this is not to condone or minimize his behavior. Rather it is to recognize it as a wake-up call to me and those like me. When a teacher in the classroom reprimands a child who is misbehaving, the kid next to him who was doing the same thing had better get the message.

No, I will not get arrested for the stuff I do in private. But I hope I get the message before its too late.