The Library

What I found amazing was being introduced to a brand new, life changing way of thinking. I was able to see, with the help of HKB"H and sponsor Steve, a world of resentments and fears transform before my eyes ( poof! ) to a world of beauty and joy, serenity and closeness t...

As far as getting a good shrink, I would do a good week's research on that one if I were you, before committing. Get someone who is experienced with sexual addictions more than someone experienced with Marriage Issues - you can always work out the marriage stuff after you...

Someone wrote on the forum: I am a young married guy and I am desperate for help. I have been married almost 3 years and all this time I have had a problem with pornography, masturbation, and infidelity. My wife wants to leave me.... We tried therapy but just can't co...

My G-d, if I had porn available to look at and actually used it, I'd be toast. My life (i.e. my state of mind) would be immediate gehinom. I'd be gnawing myself to death with my little, desperate and complicated thoughts about 'ruchiyus or struggles with other people; eve...

Someone wrote to Dov: At night, I need it to sleep. And even if you'll tell me that's not true, if one thinks he needs something to sleep, he can't sleep without it. I need a plan how to get this idea out of my head. This keeps on being my biggest sticking point. Even...

Beginning of Day Prayer (BB 86-87) O God, direct my thinking, so that it may be divorced from Self-Pity and from dishonest and self-seeking motives. Let me make every decision and begin every action in You and continue it only thru Your Inspiration. Throughout this day, ...

Chevra, See the picture below. We have a choice of two pairs of Glasses to wear in life. The "Dark Pair" of Glasses that have been practically welded to our head after years and years of living our OWN Design for living. Or the "Rose Colored" Glasses that we get by workin...

"I have Emunah problems because of my acting out", and "I just don't daven right." Ask the average yeshiva bochur or shul member to say the Sh'ma in front of a bunch of other yeshiva guys/shul members. Then ask one to say it in English ! Rav Avigdor Miller says an eitz...

Here are a few STEPS TO STAY CLEAN AND SOBER: 1) Always first: have a good long conversation with HaKadosh Baruchu. He just wants to hear from you again. Maybe your "signal strength" got a little low. How many "bars" were you holding before the slip? 2) CHECK OUT YOUR...

The joy is great, and so the pain. 15 years of desperate cries, with no answer. At last there is a light to be seen at the end of the tunnel. 15 years of trying every method in the books. 15 years of having a double life. 15 years of silence and being hopeless. 15 years o...

We are on vacation now for a few days iy"H. We were less than a second away from a major accident just as we were about 2 minutes from the motel, after driving for about 3 hours. It was so close that my wife was shaking for about 15 minutes after, and she's usually qui...

Nothing you describe reminds me of addiction, just natural tayvo that is a bit twisted by shame, a big helping of bad habit, and some pleasure. You do it because it makes you feel good, right? Sounds normal to me. Not 'good', not 'healthy'... but not mentally ill, either....

Avraham wrote: I t ried to distract myself by learning and going to a shiur... distracted myself for a bit. That lasted till like 5PM. I tried hard. I feel like I'm too focused on the problem and not living in the solution. How AM I supposed to live in the solution? D...

I have a few things to share with you. Be"H they will be of some use:If you are reaching out for help, I guess it means that you have discovered that your best efforts have not worked. So going it alone - merely with new information - is nice, but it never worked for me. ...

If there would have been any other path I could have taken other than the 12 step path, I would have taken it! And I did! It was just that it was clear to me that I had exhausted everything else. I was already a frum guy and that had obviously not worked...what, does it...

It is so humbling to read a post from Dov. He says it like it is, and is so on target. I think the thing that impresses me the most and gives me the most hope, is that Dov is so comfortable with who he is. For me, the first step towards recovery was admitting that who I r...

He stood in front of the crowd, men, and many wives, and while looking out, he said: "A lot of you won't be here in 20 years"..... ...There was a break for dinner, and when he came back afterwards, he said that "during the break, many of you came over to me and complaine...

Dear Reb Guard,I just wanted to share with you that after much experimentation on myself, I have come to the conclusion that using filtration to keep me sober is only good as a "short term" solution. It's a good beginning, BUT, eventually it will back fire. A true addict ...