Handbook

Tool 1 - STOP!

Deciding to stop does not mean that we won’t ever fall again or that we’ll succeed in staying stopped forever on our first try. However, it does mean that we are committed to trying, by being open minded to internalizing the principles and tools discussed in this program which have helped hundreds, if not thousands, break free.

Tool 2: Attitude & Perspective

Having the proper perspective and attitude on this struggle can make all the difference. Often people write to us saying that had they only known the proper perspective and attitude guidelines that we discuss on our network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into the addiction in the first place!

Tool 3: Guard Your Eyes

It is not for nothing that our network is called "Guard Your Eyes". The most obvious practical step to conquering lust addiction is learning to guard our eyes. This is the cornerstone of breaking free, and it's obvious why: We can't lust for that which we don't see!

Tool 4: Daily Chizuk

To succeed in this struggle, it is important for us to get fresh perspective and Chizuk each day.  Chazal say that the Yetzer Hara renews his attack on us every day.  Our network provides daily Chizuk e-mails with antidotes, tips, articles, and quotes from our sages, therapists, and fellow strugglers, to help us break free of this addiction.

Tool 5: Alternative Fulfillment

We frequently focus on breaking the addiction by avoiding triggers and running away from the Yetzer Hara. But often the best way to deal with an addiction, is to remove the underlying "needs" that the addiction is trying to fill by proactively engaging inalternative fulfilling pursuits.

Tool 6: Physical Activity

When we talk about recovery and emotional health, our physical body is a critical factor in the equation. Getting enough sleep, good nutrition and especially exercise, add a whole lot more to our "spiritual centeredness and emotional well being" than most people give it credit for. As the Pasuk says, "Venishmartem Me'od Li’nafshoseichem -and you shall vigilantly guard your wellbeing".

Tool 7: Making Fences

The addiction is more powerful than us, and if we try to fight it head on we will almost always lose. Once we are standing at the edge of the cliff, we are very vulnerable to falling off of it. Instead, we must stay as far away from the edge of the cliff as possible. Therefore, one of the most powerful tools in this struggle is making good fences.

Tool 8: Cutting Down

If you've tried the steps above and you still find that the addiction is controlling you and causing frequent falls, it could be helpful to apply the battle-tactic of conquering and securing one territory at a time, instead of trying to conquer everything at once. The more we cut down, and the more distance we put between ourselves and the addiction, the easier it gets.

Tool 9: A Leap of Faith - The 90 Day Journey

There was a recent scientific study that found it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain. It was shown that if an addict refrains from their addictive behavior for 90 days, they will find it far easier to stop the addictive thought patterns.

Tool 10: Extra Strong Fences - TaPhSiC Method

TaPHSiC stands for “The Physical & Spiritual Combo” Method.  This tool has worked well with many Frum addicts in helping them stop these destructive behaviors completely.  For most frum addicts this method has worked wonders, and it has freed many people from the obsession.