Saturday, 24 December 2011

My Shavuos Don't Work!

I made a promise to Hashem not to fall and still fell, what should I do now?

by GYE (See all authors)

Someone wrote us:

I made a promise to HASHEM that I will not be pogem habris this week, but I broke it twice. I feel really bad, and I'm afraid that I will do it more times. What should I do?


GYE Responds:

Shavuos don't usually work very well in addictions - if the shavuah is simply not to act out. The trick is learning how to make shavuos WISELY. Here's one powerful example of how to make a wise shavuah:

Make a list of good things to do... spiritual things, like saying tehilim for 10 minutes, being maavir sedra 10 minutes, and / or calling your parents, etc... You can also add "calling a friend from the forum" to the list...

Then, make a shavuah that if you don't do all the things on your list before acting out, you'll have to give $200 to Tzedaka.

This way, you aren't making a shavuah NOT to act out. With this system, you can tell yourself that you can still act out, but you need to first do the things on your list - otherwise it will cost you!

Just thinking of the list of things you need to do will usually be enough to deter you from acting out. That's what is meant by making "Smart" shavuaos.

See the TaPHSiC method on our website for more on this idea.