Wednesday, 25 April 2012

I can LIVE THE TRUTH

by Me, Mevakesh, Struggling Yid (See all authors)

"Struggling" Posted on the forum:

What I don't miss today about my addiction:

- Feeling shame and guilt.
- Trying to cover my tracks
- Sneaking around and trying to think of excuses
- Lying to the people I love and who love me!
- Having to turn the sound off on my computer to quiet incoming messages or IMs.
- Trying to think of ways to pay for my addictions without those dear to me finding out.

Instead, I feel clean and pure and have nothing to hide - because I don't!

 

"Me" replies:

Rabbi Nachman says that in order for a person to connect to Hashem on any level, this person must have Emunah, one must "believe" in Hashem. And R' Nachman explains that the #1 wall that prevents one from having Emunah in Hashem is.....SHEKER (Falsehood). If one has a need to live a life of lies, then this is proof that they are NOT relying on Hashem. They are not trusting in Hashem.... (and that is why they need to use lies).

So, the very first step in getting to Hashem (which is what we absolutely must do in order to heal ourselves from this sickness), is to work on the middah of EMES (Truthfulness).

So, the list you wrote above of lies, cover ups, hiding etc... we have all been there, and we know personally how terrible and shallow it has made us feel. Why? Because we were as far as we could be from our Father in Heaven..... and all because of the Sheker.

So, when we miss out on the middah of Emes, we totally miss out on our kesher with Hashem.

 

"Mevakesh" Replies:

Thank you "Me", what a great perspective!

Yes, those "bad old days" of living a lie are OVER, and I am not afraid of my own shadow anymore! I love my wife more and she loves me more! I am a better father and a better person. Most of all, I am a better Jew. I don't need to rationalize anymore. I can LIVE! I can LIVE FREE! I can LIVE THE TRUTH!

Hashem is great! His Torah is great! His people are great!

 

Chazak V'Ematz!