Hi everybody,  my name is bb0212 and I'm not addicted to GYE. 

 cant be! look - Safe spot for the non SA(non spoiler addict) folk over here

looks like the non-addicts might just be addicted to 

Just realized this:



That means that us non addicts can be free here!  The addicts can't tell us we're addicted - at least not on this board. 

This is so exciting! 

last year i  joined a support group for procrastinators. we havent met yet!
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i know a guy whos  addicted to brake fluid,but he says he can stop any time.
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I'm reading a book called "Irresistable".  It is excellent and discusses behavioral addictions.  I highly recommend it.



 

hi ,i hear you, excuse me for my assumption ,but i assume your not married?do you have a Rebbi that you can approach and say" i need an eitza,i cant learn a word or almost a word because my yetzer hara is driving me crazy."my yetzer hara was driving me crazy before  i got married  ,i  started mb when i was 15 till a year and a half before my chasuna, i wish you hatzlacha i dont know if this is the FIRST piece of advice that should be given to you , but there are non addictive medicine that are out there that takes off the edge and sharpness  of this taava if its something thats harasing you the whole day,ill let the other guys on gye  scream at me for this advice if its a terrible idea. hatzlacha raba and chazak!

Mentallyhealthy wrote on 06 Feb 2018 05:31:

great so you know there is a god and that he is good do you know  that there is a you and that you are good
recovery should be with hatzlocho stick around don't let yourself get depressed

My name is ...actually forget that. I am a little concerned with revealing my identity. 
actually speaking of identity (that isn't my name) I'm a jew. A son and servant of Hashem. 
 I'm not sure if I'm an addict but after 3 years of intense. And I mean intense struggling, I failed. Today. I dont even know what to do with myself. There's a certain part of me that knows: Dovid, (fake name) just move on... There's also a part of me that's just numb and lind of wants to ignore this moment's existence. 

I would describe myseld as a person who is (and has the time to) always be learning Torah, but I pretty much am just being sur meirA all day and no aseh tov really happens. I'm just kind of a wandering soul struggling to stay as clean as possible in this dirt filled world.
...but .. Idk. I really don't even know anything right now. ANY THING. I dont even know why the heck I'm still typing this.
I just know there's a G D and he is Good. Bless G D.

Welcome aboard, Glad you joined what have you tried so far to stop?

 Yankel your fellow addict!

Hi, today I reached a milestone not only in days but in my whole lifestyle, I reached 90 DAYS CLEAN today, I would like to share my journey so that we can all strengthen ourselves together.
For years (and I mean years) I was two people within one, on the outside I was I nice frum and erliche guy, a ben torah and enjoyed to learn, happy husband/father/friend and try my best to make others happy and smile. but on the inside I was broken to pieces, I was addicted to pornography and masturbation and felt horrible about it, I tried every way to get out of it but nothing worked for me, I was good for a day two or three and then fell again, this vicious cycle just kept on going year after year, I could not see the end of the tunnel, and I was sure I would live like this forever, I felt like a traitor with no way to get out of my problem.
​Then one day a few months ago I discovered GYE, I was in shock to see how many others are in the same boat as me and looking out for help, the thing that was the most amazing to me was to find out I AM NOT ALONE ANYMORE, there are so many of us that have the same struggles as I do and we all work together to keep strong, I signed up to GYE (even though it was not easy but I knew that I have to do whats right even if its not that comfortable) and I started working day by day, it was not easy, some days were extremely hard, and I saw that the main thing that worked for was having contact with people here on GYE, for starters it was through chatting and the forum, but I still felt it was not enough for me, until I got in touch with someone live and was constantly in touch with him through call/text and I saw amazing results, I was never alone again, we share our struggles and achievements no matter big or small, at one point I felt I was having a very hard time and I needed even more support and I even met my friend in person, it was very hard on my side to do it, but I knew that if thats what it will take to help me then that is what I am going to do, and b"h I can say it really helped me a lot seeing and talking to a live person.
on one specific shabbos I had an extremely hard time and I felt I cant anymore and I just wanted to masturbate, but I knew that my friend would call/text me after shabbos to find out how I am doing and I would have to tell him the truth, so as hard as it was and as many hours I was up at night fighting with myself to keep strong, b"h I was able to keep strong and I did not fall, all due to the fact that I was in touch with a friend.
It took a long time to really teach myself a new concept, that YES I CAN KEEP STRONG NO MATTER HOW HARD IT MAY BE, and this is my new way of life, that when I feel an urge or have a hard and stressful day and all I want is just to masterbate, I tell myself "yes its hard to get over this but you CAN keep strong and you don't have to fall".
​may hashem give us all lots of strength to keep strong and that this should become our way of life, and always share achievements and accomplishments.
thank you GYE for giving me my life back, and thanks to all of you doing your best to help me and others do what right!!!

Hello everyone. I have not posted in a long time. Going up and down as usual . Lately I have been doing well but last week was pretty bad, so I decided to come back on the forum. I am now 21 years old and rebbeim have suggested shidduchim for me. I tell that that I’m waiting for my brother and I have somethings I must take care of. They think I mean school but I really mean this addiction. I get so frustrated when I look back that I’ve been struggling for so freakin long. I wish this rollercoaster was over and I can live a normal life. I am so jealous of those holy children that have no worries on their mind. I read on GYE the pamphlets they have for bar mitzva boys and I am frustrated that no one had these talks with me. I heard About it in camp from some kids,I read it on the internet but no rebbe or parent spoke to me about it. When my mom found I bought a book on porn prevention all she did was cry and made me tell her I won’t do it again. I Wish it was different. I wish filters were as common as they are now. I know it’s assur to be jealous but I really am. I am stuck in the mud for so many years when kids actually get a healthy educAtion. Basically I wanted to tell that to everyone
I was speaking to my therapist today and we got into an arguement what’s “normal sexuality” he’s Frum and we were discussing the topic. I said no sexuality is good. And thoughts are evil and tamed. He was claiming that it’s a normal thing that kids find out. I was always curious how kids understand the first Misha in kiddushin, what’s Biah. I knew from bad sources but I told him that seemingly a religious kid should no zero about these things. Then I read the booklets and was interested that they really explained it to the boys. I guess the more you tell them the less they have to find out the wrong way and get stuck in the mud.
also I wanted to ask if anyone is able to be my sponsor. Honestly I’m holding before the 12 steps and I can’t stop first. So therefore I would prefer not 12 steps. so if anyone can help me I would be very happy. Message me. 
Thanks everyone for listening

I’m fairly new to this site I don’t know the rules but im glad I found you guys and I guess I’ll introduce my self with my story.
im a addict for 20 years I was so into my addiction and didn’t turn my head back, I believe I have hit a rock bottom and I’m trying to recover for the past 6 months But my path for recovery so far is relapse failure and depression.
my sick habits started when I was 10 years old for about 3 years I was in a sexual relationship with a adult stranger I was molested by this guy very often was shown the worst kind of pornagerphy and was given money and gifts, I wasn’t really hurt at the time and it didn’t hunt me but now when I’m writing about it for the first time I can’t hold my tairs back I’m crying for the first time in a long time, my years in Yeshive followed with a lot of struggle i didn’t act out with other people but there was a lot of pain and I masterbated daily, I’m married know for 13 years with a beautiful wife and large family, but from day one i have lived a double life I didn’t control myself I have acted out inappropriate almost on daily bases in ways I’m ashamed to think about. I start to work on myself for recovery about 6 Monthes ago back then I was sober for 30 days i wasn’t able to hold it since for more then 7 days, at the moment I’m broken devastated and hopeless I’m crying to god for help and I don’t know where to turn. I definitely can use any chisuk and advice and I’m committed to use all the research and resource available on this site.

HakolMilimala wrote on 30 Jan 2018 13:28:

Unquestionably!

במקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים, אין צדיקים גמורים יכולים לעמוד
I hope I have the words right. It means that you are a fighter who isn't afraid or embarrassed to admit that sometimes the fight is too hard, and to get help. It means that if your future wife is struggling with a personal issue, you will be able to help her. 
These days, so many people are in therapy for one thing or another, there is a chance that your future wife will also have been seeing someone for something. I did, and my wife was also in therapy. When we found out (before we got married) that each one was going for help. it brought us much closer.
It means that should your wife fail a big nisayon in whatever area, you will remember your own experience, and encourage her.
It means that you are honest. You honestly state a challenge that you had, and you were honest in your assessment of yourself to know what needed to be done to win. 

yiraishamaim wrote on 04 Feb 2018 11:41:


Oh for sure, I didn't mean that I was surprised. There's no question society is in a downward spiral, just compare a TV show from a few decades back to a modern show (or rather, don't!). I was just observing like serenity and HakolMilimala wrote above, how clear it is that this struggle is not a logical one but an animalistic one. If it was logical none of us would be here. Not a chiddush, I know.