How long should try gye program to see if it works or not to move to the next step to SA?

sunnyjellyfish17 wrote on 11 Sep 2024 17:44:

This is a good question. Something I personally thought about for way too long. It's impossible to answer without more information though.

Questions you want to think about are things like: How often am I acting out? In what ways? What is that doing to my life? Am I willing to go to SA? Have I tried the "GYE program" or just logged on and off without doing much? What else is there to try besides SA?

Then when you've thought through those thoughts get in touch with someone wise and understanding, and talk it over. Dov is a good address for a call like this.

I'll share my own journey with you, maybe it'll help. 

I think I didn't make substantial progress before weighing the idea of SA. I suspect that is because there were things I wasn't willing to do to get clean. It wasn't until I hit a point of "I'll do whatever it takes" that I started making more headway. And, though I haven't joined SA yet, I still might. Right now I'm trying other tools (such as connecting with friends here, and Dov's weekly call.)

One very helpful yesod that I received is that it's not helpful to stress about "should I go to SA, should I not" or "do I have a chalos shem addict". If you think SA may be helpful, go for it. There's not much to lose by trying it, and you don't need a rabbi to pasken you're an addict to try it. But, on the other hand, there are other tools you can try before going to a meeting that are a little easier to do. If you're not in imminent danger and you would prefer to avoid SA, why not try those other options?

Thank you for the insight I appreciate it. What other options are out there besides SA GYE?

sunnyjellyfish17 wrote on 11 Sep 2024 19:32:

Some people have found therapy very helpful, depending on the nature of their struggle. 

But what I mostly meant was their are tools on GYE that you may not have used. Have you connected with a mentor (HHM for example)? An accountability friend? Opening up to other real people (not just some rando on the forum who looks like a cross between a turkey and a slug) is incredibly powerful. GYE has a new Vaad program starting soon to enable connections - maybe sign up

Have you worked on the Flight to Freedom program? Read the Battle of the Generation and worked on changing your mindset?

How's your filter setup? Do you have web-monitoring software? 

When I came on GYE, I read some posts and, like, that was it for well over a year. Nothing happened. But that's largely because I still wasn't doing anything to stop. . . Oh I was doing the 90 day check in. And was super committed. But that's just tracking your falls - it's not doing anything to change the pattern. And commitment never did much for me when I had an urge . . .